Very slow burn vs lack of spark?
Hey, I've recently met someone through a dating app whom I feel is secure. Liked his profile quite a lot, even if I was not 100% sure about his looks (sometimes with pictures you feel like you have a fair vision of what the person is actually gonna look like, sometimes a bit less).
We had a nice start of a conversation and he suggested meeting quite fast (I was starting considering it anyway cause I can't be bothered talking on dating apps for weeks). We had a quick coffee (he chose a cute place and paid, showed active interest throughout the date). I had a good time, though I felt it was maybe a little formal/serious to my liking (I use banters a lot to connect/flirt and that was virtually absent). On my way back I found myself flaw picking a little (his looks, clothing). A few hours after he sent a text to set another date, which I agreed too but didn't confirm a timing as it was a busy week.
We texted little during the week (I don't wanna create false intimacy then 180 I really dread the thought of that), but I tried to send at least a little update everyday. I felt quite uneasy about it all and appreciated a great deal that he didn't try and speed up the texting or ask again about the next date and all.
End of the week I texted him a bit last min when I finally was free for dinner, he booked a place. I went really stressed and in my head (even if I'm doing much better at getting out of my head and in the moment during the actual date) and I ended up having a lovely time. I think we match on a lot of things, we have good conversation, it felt a little more relaxed/a bit more fun. I was also reassured about his looks (it got probably worse in my head 🗣️ n betWeen 2 dates). He's smart and he seems genuinely caring.
At this point I'm def curious about seeing him a third time (maybe during a shared activity to see if it brings a little more complicity and fun). I just really don't know if I can get myself to connect on a more physical level. I feel very icked out when I think about it. I do think this is avoidance as there is basically no mystery about his level or interest, nor any sense of urgency. It feels flat but I don't think it actually is.
I'm honestly a bit confused (I've always been when dating secure people, which he seems to be). I'm afraid I like him enough to develop attraction but not enough to sustain it. I know people get over romantic disappointment if it were to happen (I'm a good communicator, and I won't love bomb or future fake or anything) but still I feel like I'm freaking out about it all. Any advice? I don't wanna mess him up or have to endure a complicated breakup myself in a few weeks ugh