u/Asreal_as_it_gets

I 19(nb) have horrible anxiety, I've had it since i was a little kid and I've never known life without it. I'm unsure if this would be taken down due to self harm, but i really need advice from other people who are chronically anxious. I'm sorry for formatting, I'm on mobile and i am exhausted bc i couldn't sleep well last night (unrelated issue)

But anyways it's gotten to the point where it's caused physical harm to my body (mostly regarding my gut health),but that's besides the point. For the past 4 years (at least, this is just from what i remember acknowledging it hapoening but i could have been doing it longer) i have begun scratching at my scalp to the point it has scabs all over it, picking at my nails to the point i have hangnail scars (and have accidentally cut my finger doing it sometimes) and i scratch and pick at my neck and chest to the point it gets red. I try to stop but it only makes it worse. I hate it so badly i want it to stop. I wanna be able to dye my hair pink and blue but I can't do that if i keep scratching whenever i get anxious. Does anyone have tips for it? I would get a new squishy but because of the trend of people buying up all the good quality ones i haven't gotten any new ones and i refuse to buy from scalpers.

I (19nb) still live with my parents. And when i was little my mom and dad homeschooled me for a few years due to extreme bullying, and during that time i had to do a project of sorts for a class (I don't remember the context). My mom was helping me and she told me that she wanted to take me to "the house on the rock" which if memory serves, has the largest carousel in the world or the USA, and to magic kingdom to take me on the "it's a small world" ride.

The issue is that we're very much broke, and i know I'll never be able to take her to these places, especially since the house on the rock has become run down. Not to mention she is terrified of flying and wouldn't be able to take the week or so necessary to go down to Florida.

Idk, i just needed to tell someone about this and i didn't want to bother my friends with this