Schizoid & Psychosis
It's been a while since I've been active on here, but I thought I'd write to document my possibly becoming psychotic. Not really looking for help. I'll make an appointment with a psychiatrist tomorrow.
My mind going nuts comes with the perk of the world being more beautiful. The transition of a wall dipped in sunshine and shadows is lowely, the distant forrest breathtakingly dark and the sparkles in the ripples of the nearby river's waters are trying to tell me something fundamental. The latter was one of my tip-offs that something is wrong with my mind ;)
My cognitive functioning is impaired. I am a software developer and using software myself to code is becoming very difficult. It's as if the features of my IDE are playing hide & seek and what was once one click away is now a google search away. Day-to-day I leave rooms with a scattered mind forgetting what I left them for. I came here, even, on a different purpose, and now I post. My mind is deep under water. My emotions flat as a puddle. And after 5 years of therapy and much increase of social interactions and capability, I am rapidly withdrawing.