How should I talk to my new Therapist about questionable stuff that happened with therapist?
So I have had a therapist for years. They have helped me a lot. But some things happened years ago that wasn’t exactly by the book. I got scared but still continued to see the therapist.
We had talked about drinking. I had never been comfortable with alcohol for many reasons partly because of drinking problems in my family and with my own mental health I was afraid of becoming addicted and do bad things. Become violent like some people in my family.
After I told about my approach to try and drink again( not much) My therapist suggested almost immediately that we should meet somewhere and drink together. I said yeah we can do that. First I thought it was a joke. But my therapist brought it up again and again. And we finally agreed on a date for it. Yeah I know it was stupid to accept it. My life was very difficult at the time.
But then the talk escalated towards jokingly talking about how much to drink when we met and us becoming drunk together. I never said anything about wanting them drunk or me drunk. But my therapist jokingly said “ do you want me drunk?“ And “ maybe we could get drunk together?“
And then the tone shifted towards being very serious and they said was important that I drank before we met. It was like an instruction/order. The amount suggested wasn’t enough for me to get very drunk but I definitely would have been drunk after a little while.
I felt extremely uncomfortable about it. I had never imagined my therapist would suggest something like this. I wasn’t very experienced with drinking and I didn’t do it. When we met and dined for a few hours it went fine. I drank slowly. I tried to talk like it was “ normal therapy session“ . My therapist seemed more intoxicated than me but not very.
My therapist had beforehand also suggested that we could just sit in their office and drink instead of dinner. I refused it.
But the next therapy session my therapist talked about our dinner and wanted us to do it again. But “ let’s drink more“ Obviously my therapist had noticed I didn’t become as intoxicated as they had wanted me to be.
I refused and said it was enough. My therapist seemed very disappointed but never brought it up again. We never talked about it. It felt weird for a little while but then improved.
I still continued seeming my therapist for years after this happened. My therapist helped me a lot but I just felt I couldn’t talk to anyone about this situation. Of course not them.
So I never did. I felt shameful and sometimes thought that maybe I just invented it all I ln my head. Because of my attraction to my therapist. But I didn’t. It happened.
But now I have a new therapist. How do I talk about this? Because the thing is. I was extremely attracted to my therapist at that time and I don’t want my new therapist to be afraid of me become obsessed with them. My former therapist knew about my attraction.
Also my former therapist had said some weird stuff.
Joked about hitting on me. Said it’s a shame they have to wait years if they meet someone. My Therapist was married by the way. Asked what I liked about them so much. Body parts etc. They did that for a little while but I never answered it.
Most of the time they were serious and professional. That’s what’s makes this so weird. You wouldn’t have guessed it if you listened to them talking that they were capable of this.