Why is my husband not communicating? Advice from men is appreciated!
I (35F) and my husband (40M) have been married for 9 years and been together for 10. My husband has never been a very communicative person, and I have been ok with that. But as years have gone by things are becoming worse and worse. When we have issues or disputes he never wants to talk about the situation, how to come to a resolution or how we feel about it. If he really disagrees with something, he likes to throw a couple of "legal type" arguments on me, along the lines of "I wouldn't do that if I were you" or "if we went to court for xyz the verdict would be in my favor". I never take that seriously, however I do want to resolve things with conversation and looking at each other's POV. The problem is he is not trying to resolve anything the last year or so. He will tell me that I am not ready to discuss that or I have nothing to say on xyz and leaves it at that. If he really had to give a response (for situations where a response is required immediately) he is confusing me and tries to go around the question with peripheral or irrelevant things. This has resulted in piling up of unresolved problems that he does not care to resolve. When I talk about my concerns on his behavior, he says he is taking them into consideration and working on steps to improve. Needless to say there has been no improvement in anything.
One thing I should mention is there is one group of occasions where he is keen to discuss with me and this is when a lot of money need to be spent by me or us together. For example, he now wants to buy a new car and expects me to pay 50%. I tell you that he is going into deep dive conversations, exploring options and getting my view. This is the only occasion we have truly discussed something.
I am at a loss and not sure what to do. Sometimes he says it is my communication style that bothers him, but when I ask him how he wants me to communicate I do not get a clear response, or no response at all. I have tried changing communication style but it has not worked. Is that relationship over? Note: we do have kids together