r/couplestherapy

Sono giorni che il mio ragazzo (forse a sto punto ex? Boh) non si fa sentire.

E la cosa che mi manda ancora più fuori di testa è scoprire che, nel frattempo, qui su Reddit trova tranquillamente il tempo e la lucidità per commentare i problemi sentimentali degli sconosciuti e dispensare consigli sulle relazioni.
Non so se ridere o piangere.
Trovo veramente assurdo riuscire ad analizzare dall’esterno le relazioni degli altri, spiegare cosa sarebbe giusto fare, come bisognerebbe comunicare, cosa dovrebbe fare un partner… Quando poi nella propria relazione, davanti a un conflitto, la soluzione è sparire e lasciare l’altra persona nel silenzio.
Non pretendo che una persona abbia sempre la risposta giusta o che sappia gestire perfettamente ogni litigio. Ma almeno un minimo di coerenza sì.
La parte che mi ferisce di più è sapere che quindi la capacità di riflettere sulle dinamiche di coppia ce l’hai. Sai anche trovare le parole per gli altri. Semplicemente, quando si tratta di noi, quelle parole non arrivano.
E io intanto sono ancora qui, senza sapere niente.
Mi sembra una situazione talmente surreale che avevo bisogno di sfogarmi da qualche parte.

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u/MindlessDesk4536 — 10 days ago

Why is my husband not communicating? Advice from men is appreciated!

I (35F) and my husband (40M) have been married for 9 years and been together for 10. My husband has never been a very communicative person, and I have been ok with that. But as years have gone by things are becoming worse and worse. When we have issues or disputes he never wants to talk about the situation, how to come to a resolution or how we feel about it. If he really disagrees with something, he likes to throw a couple of "legal type" arguments on me, along the lines of "I wouldn't do that if I were you" or "if we went to court for xyz the verdict would be in my favor". I never take that seriously, however I do want to resolve things with conversation and looking at each other's POV. The problem is he is not trying to resolve anything the last year or so. He will tell me that I am not ready to discuss that or I have nothing to say on xyz and leaves it at that. If he really had to give a response (for situations where a response is required immediately) he is confusing me and tries to go around the question with peripheral or irrelevant things. This has resulted in piling up of unresolved problems that he does not care to resolve. When I talk about my concerns on his behavior, he says he is taking them into consideration and working on steps to improve. Needless to say there has been no improvement in anything.

One thing I should mention is there is one group of occasions where he is keen to discuss with me and this is when a lot of money need to be spent by me or us together. For example, he now wants to buy a new car and expects me to pay 50%. I tell you that he is going into deep dive conversations, exploring options and getting my view. This is the only occasion we have truly discussed something.

I am at a loss and not sure what to do. Sometimes he says it is my communication style that bothers him, but when I ask him how he wants me to communicate I do not get a clear response, or no response at all. I have tried changing communication style but it has not worked. Is that relationship over? Note: we do have kids together

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u/AudienceFlashy5233 — 10 days ago

Freshly broke up but offered couples therapy. How did it would out for those that are at the breaking point of their relationship?

The relationship lacks emotional safety, financial safety, and career ambition.Is couples therapy worth if she checked out?Im want to step up now 4 us

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u/Affectionate-Golf297 — 11 days ago

Fun ways to connect

Looking for fun things to do to connect at home or outside that someone who (person 1 has bad knees, a bad shoulder, & a bad back) & (person 2 has a bad wrist, and bad knees). My husband and I have had a hard time connecting lately and we don’t have our fun hobbies in common. We are happy together but looking for fun new ways to connect.

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u/randomred101 — 11 days ago