u/lowriderz00

We’re only on our 5th session with a new therapist. We had a great therapist before hand who we couldn’t afford because we lost good health insurance. We went to someone else who takes my state health insurance in her office. I’m not sure how I’m feeling about this new girl. She does give us things to reflect on and work on between sessions, and it’s good stuff. But in the session when I’m talking about issues that have gone on she told me that I seem to be the one always talking about things he does that is wrong and how it must be hard to hear. My partner doesn’t think so because he knows he has become complacent and has done things that have affected me and how our relationship is.

We agreed were there to work through our issues but when I describe them she has a look on her face like I’m saying word salad. It’s been making it hard to get through my point because she just doesn’t seem to be understanding. She doesn’t really guide or help, and won’t really say much to my issues and my partner doesn’t seem to be getting deep either in his feelings. He did talk with our last therapist, so it is making it seem like I’m just constantly complaining about him while he’s silent.

Obviously I’ll stick it out for a few I don’t know if it’s new therapist getting to know eachother, but I was wondering what you guys thought? Is this a new thing that happens or something I need to address and talk further about in session. When I’ve tried to explain my reasoning she just stares at me and doesn’t seem to get me. Like with anything I’ve brought up, it’s making me seem like I’m hating on my partner but I’m not. I’m just wanting to talk and work through issues.

I’m looking to get into this business for a few years. Probably keep it if I find true joy and happiness in it. But I do have other career options that will take years to build to like voice acting. I have a basic understanding of what the career is. You’re there as a legal representative and help people sign documents, make sure nothings fake, all ducks are in line for everyone. And ship them off on time.
But what skills are needed for this? What are some positive and negative traits of a person that would thrive in being a notary?

Also would taking a business class, brushing up on math and English be a good idea? My jobs in my adult life haven’t required that stuff. I mainly have done delivery driving apps, helped my uncle with a small shop he had. And then helped my dad with his construction work. All the things I learned in HS has gone out my brain. So what would I need to brush up on?

I was so excited all week to see Spider-Man, I was going to see it in 3D/4D and got to the first 3 minutes of the movie which seemed fun af. It really wouldve been an experience. But there was a few solo people that made me feel nervous. This one guy in particular was walking around the theater trying to find his seat but he kept making eye contact with everyone, had the closest seat to the door at the top, and kept fidgeting around. Maybe he had anxiety. But he checked under his seat and looked behind the seat too. And when he went outside of the theater he talked to a guy who got up and left and didn’t come back. He also talked to another guy at the other corner. So like one big square.

Then he kept talking to 3 13yr olds like they were best friends and had his vape out. I just felt the need to leave, and was very anxious about him doing something with how fidgety he was and talking to the other solo people in the corner. The movie time is over and nothings happened which is obviously good. But I had to leave, and I wish I could’ve enjoyed freaking Spider-Man. I really hate that people feel the need to harm others and then the rest of existence is just wondering if it’s going to happen again.

Not to mention my movie theaters security SUCKS, and has had multiple threats actually happen there. What do they do? Have absolutely no one check the theaters, have no one even check your tickets at the front, no metal detectors. Access to outside from the theater. Like who is going to feel safe???

My partner is complacent and I'm at the tipping point after years of trying to control the relationship because if I don't say anything, he doesn't bring something up. He's not complacent in house chores. But in keeping our relationship alive. I've told him over the last 6 years what I need and he always forgets. I always wondered if he says he cares and loves me why doesn't he look up and research if he genuinely doesn't know how to do a relationship. Like he'll spend hours researching about video games but won't do it for us unless it's an issue about him and is affecting him. Even then it's only for like an hour.

Anyways this and other things has led to trust issues on my end. I asked if a list of things that make me feel safe would help him be better at remembering and he said yes. But also at this wits end I want to give him a list of what I need out of this relationship. Then I start thinking why should I? He should know me and what I like by now after 12 years. And then I wonder if I'm doing it again, but this time it's with the intent of here, I'm done helping you out. Do it yourself after this and if you don't do it, well it's because you didn't try and don't care.

What are your thoughts? Am I just giving him a cheat sheet?

I feel like I’m at a loss with finding the right lube. My partner and I can barely have sex without friction. For some reason my vagina soaks it all up, or turns it into a bacterial or yeast infection. I need fragrance free, and sugar free, and no aloe because I’m sensitive to it. Also one that won’t flair up bacteria or yeast.

Here’s a list of ones I’ve tried in 2019-2021 these are all sensitive and fragrance free Jo water and silicone, KY Jelly, sliquid water and silicone
2022-2024 almond oil and coconut oil
2025-wicked simply timeless silicone

The wicked simply timeless doesn’t flare up bacteria or yeast but it doesn’t do anything. I’m talking 5 pumps and I still feel friction and burning. It dries up quickly on my partner too and ends up sticky within 5 minutes. When I was searching for lube I looked up sugar free and LOLA personal lubricant sounds intriguing but who tf knows if that will even work. Any ideas?

It’s been 3yrs and I still get them. When I got wisdom tooth surgery after the healing process and I could feel things again I noticed I’d always get fluid filled bumps inside my mouth when I’d eat. Theyre around the incision spots. Mainly only happens on the top though. Say I eat a meal, and wouldn’t you know it theres the bumps. I can pop them but it takes some work. Sometimes theyre so filled with fluid they just pop with little contact. The biggest ones have been half the size of a pea. Maybe smaller. The fluid tastes like acid. wtf could’ve happened that caused this?

I have dealt with this for a long time but it hasn’t happened in awhile. I just woke up from a nap. But in the nap I was dreaming that I was in and out of sleep and was playing music on my phone. During this dream i actually woke up and felt like the music was blaring in my ears, my body felt like it was shaking, my heart felt like it was fluttering, and my eyes were darting back and forth at lightning speed. My vision was also going in and out. Which I mean it was being pushed and pulled. And there was a gray aura in the push and pull. Now I’m dealing with a visual aura over my right eye.

I do get migraines, especially hormonal and I started my period today. But I’ve always wondered if when I have these sleep paralysis dreams with a migraine that they’re seizures. I have seen a neurologist who diagnosed me with migraines. But these dreams only happen in times of periods, and high stress.

Eligibility questions. A. Depends? I’ve been with my bf for 12 years but we are not married. So single? B. No children. C. Currently, none I’ve been out of work due to medical issues. But if I did I’d aim to make $70k/yr. D. Not pregnant. E. Not really sure. I have a lot of medical issues. PTSD, depression, anxiety. Gastroparesis, probably gallbladder issues (getting that figured out soon), positive ANA. Hashimotos/thyroid nodules. PCOS. And POTS.

I currently have kancare and it’s amazing. Everything gets paid for. But I’m not happy in Kansas, and I’d like to move to California. Visiting first. I don’t want advice on that. Just health care. How is the difference between the 2? My main issues I need help with is Hashimotos, sometimes pcos, and my stomach issues.

The state I’m in is Kansas, the state I’m looking for advice on is California.

LPT: I recently bought hypochlorous acid spray because it was recommended to get rid of bad scents. It’s also good for keeping germs away, clearing up acne (though get a skin care product for that). I was having company over for the first time in years. Due to depression my house got out of hand. And my cats peed in some spots. I did carpet clean but there was still a funk in the house after cleaning. I sprayed it in the air and on problem spots and not kidding smell was gone, and my house smells like when you walk into a hotel. Just fresh, and like you smell a hint of pool in the background.

These clothes have ran through 2 heavy vinegar cycles on hot, 2 heavy oxy cleans on hot, 2 soaps runs. Absolutely nothing. I mean it’s slowly going away but I doubt this wash it’s going through right now will do much.
Edit: I should add I was the culprit in how they smell :/ I bought thrift clothes, washed them and put them in a bag because someone I live with smokes outside right where the dryer is which gets smoke smell on the clothes if they’re drying while they’re smoking. And I just left them in a bag wet for a few months….
Edit 2: Since everyone’s stuck on me leaving one bag of clothes on accident then kind of forgot about. It’s called depression and omg yes, people can make a mistake somebody call the police! What happened to we listen and we don’t judge? It’s laundry ffs. I’m not doing this every time. Ya I want to try to save some clothes I bought even if I didn’t get to them in the first place. I’m going to try some methods people gave and hope it works.

How did you start? What did your weekly schedule look like? Did you get any work in the 3 months or what did your cash flow look like? Were you completely on your own or did you get help or have a coach? Things like that.

I can’t afford to go to anyone right now, and I find it quite hard to do some fascia release on my neck and shoulders which is where I need it. Is there any techniques he can do to help release it?

He used to be (and might still be) pretty rough with his hair. Ive tried to drill it in his head if he wants long hair he can’t treat it like short hair.
It’s slowly turning into bangs because of breakage but he has the rest of his hair past his shoulders. He’s been keeping it back in Bobbi pins but I still will see him running his hands through the front of his hair as a comb sometimes. His hair is super thin though and always has been. Is there any repairing mask he could try? Or other measures to take?

I’m diagnosed with Hashimotos, and since I’ve seen my endocrinologist he’s heavily suggested to get my thyroid out. I have 3 nodes, I had 2 but within the last year a new one grew. My tsh, t3/4 have been normal across 4 years but in 2022 my Thyroglobulin Ab was at 3.2 IU/mL the Normal value is 0.0 - 0.9 IU/mL. Then my last neck ultra sound from Dec 2024 said this “1. Solid hypoechoic nodule 1.4 x 0.9 x 1.5 cm. If thyroid in origin this is 7 total points. 2. Solid hyperechoic nodule measuring 2.6 x 1.1 x 2.6 cm. If thyroid in origin this is 6 total points. 3. Solid hyperechoic nodule measures 1.1 x 0.7 x 1.1 cm. If thyroid origin this is 6 total points.”

I got a biopsy which said they were fine cysts. But my thyroid was super swollen and I have a pretty small frame.
Thyroid gland has heterogeneous echogenicity. Right Lobe: 6.8 x 1.9 x 2.7 cm. Left Lobe: 6.1 x 1.8 x 1.9 cm. Isthmus: 0.3 cm.

I’m just not sure what to do, he said hes not trying to force me to get surgery but he doesn’t see how I’m living with how enlarged my thyroid is especially being hard to swallow food and pills plus dealing with sleep apnea due to it. I don’t feel pressured at all. I’m just stuck. The idea of having to rely on a pill for the rest of my life being I’m only 27 is terrifying. I just had to go off of my antidepressant because my body wasn’t digesting it all the way from gastroparesis. It was causing me to deal with withdrawals daily so I got off of it.

What if that happens with taking a thyroid pill everyday? Also what were to happen if I had no access to the pill. This is a very real concern if a war broke out and people didn’t have access to their meds. I’d be one of them. I think about the people in the Middle East who are dealing with this right now, people taken by ice and are held. Not trying to make this political, it’s just life happening right now. Yes my thyroid is swollen and obviously effecting my life but I’d sure as heck survive if I didn’t have access to meds. If there is ever a chance I don’t I’m screwed! Or what if I’m an unlucky person who gets it out and my body other than the gastroparesis has to rely on tweaking the medication all the time?

I heavily know the internet is curated to look like people do things effortlessly but it seems no matter how hard I try stuffs too overwhelming. Not just beach days. But I always feel like I see people just ready to beach like they’re Ken. Hair is perfect, body is moisturized, bag is full of everything they need, the towel set up and vibe is great. When I go I’m struggling to carry everything so I leave half the stuff in my car, my towels flinging everywhere, my hairs a mess, my swimsuits crooked, skins dry, vibe is panic attack. Maybe it’s because I’ve only been to the beach like 3 times in my life but it pisses me off how chaotic I feel. I want the relaxing beach vibes and to not feel like a hot mess. I need a survival guide 😭

My partner [26/M] and I [27/F] been together 11yrs.

I’m feeling pretty upset. We’ve been together for almost 12 years. I don’t give much anger to our past selfs because we both grew up with trauma and not good relationships. So I’d say we got better at 21-22 with couples therapy. Money (not having any) has been a big play in birthdays though so with that I also give grace from our early to mid 20’s. While money now hasn’t been amazing we’ve still had enough to do something for my birthday. Literally going out and getting flowers. Taking me to a spa or staying the night at a nice hotel. Literally like $15-$200. We have had the money. My birthday was late December and we were both sick. He did make me breakfast but that’s something he does all the time. Which I appreciate a lot. But I was the one to go and get the ingredients and myself flowers while I was sick too.

That day, brought up by me because he wasn’t talking to me all day, he then told me he had something planned and was going to do it when we felt better. But wanted to keep it a secret. It’s freaking May and he hasn’t done anything. I brought it up late January and he said ya he knows, brought it up February and cried because I didn’t understand. There’s always a reason too. Which was he was sick, then he wasn’t on his adhd meds for 2 weeks, then it was feeling down, etc. I’m sure he had an idea but it feels like he wasn’t going to do anything in the first place.

He knows I have always wanted something special on my birthday because it’s the day after Christmas and I’ve never had a good birthday. I talk about it every year. He knows.

His birthday is coming up in a few weeks and I have ideas we can do but it’s like…..he hasn’t given me what he’s said. And this isn’t something new (broken/empty promises) in our relationship so I’m holding some resentment. He’s always been like this with friends too it’s just gotten to where he doesn’t take action to maintain relationships and he knows it. So it’s not just me. Obviously I want to celebrate his birthday i love him, and I don’t want to punish him for this.
But I’m not even sure if I should celebrate his birthday if I’m not given the same?

TL;DR: Partner and I have been together for almost 12yrs. He hasn’t done anything special for me on my birthday. I give grace for teens and early 20’s because of money and growing into adulthood. But we’ve had money this year. We were sick on my bday. He made me breakfast but I went and got the ingredients and myself flowers while sick. He told me he had something planned after I brought it up, and he wasn’t talking to me at all that day. Said he wanted to surprise me but it’s been 5 months. Nothing. I’ve brought it up 3 times since and his excuses has been he was sick, he didn’t have his adhd meds for 2 weeks, he was feeling off that month. Etc. I want to celebrate his upcoming birthday and I have ideas. I love him and I don’t want to punish him. But not going to lie I’m upset. Do I even celebrate his birthday since he’s given me 5 months of empty promises of celebrating mine?