u/mami_malker

It comes down to money and I hate that. We stopped living together for \~6 months because he had stopped contributing to rent for years. Even though I expressed frequently that I could not sustain our place without his help.

He moved back in and paid his portion for a few months. And then bang, back to the same excuses. I lost my job and told him I could afford two months before we had to move out. No change.

Now we’re having to figure out co parenting our two year old. He is moving in with a family member.

I’m so heartbroken. I still love him. But the financial stress turns me into an absolute monster. I don’t feel secure and we fight constantly.

I had a lot of hope he’d shape up and grow up. It hurts double because it feels like he specifically won’t do it because he knows I’ll take care of it eventually.

It comes down to money and I hate that. We stopped living together for ~6 months because he had stopped contributing to rent for years. Even though I expressed frequently that I could not sustain our place without his help.

He moved back in and paid his portion for a few months. And then bang, back to the same excuses. I lost my job and told him I could afford two months before we had to move out. No change.

Now we’re having to figure out co parenting our two year old. He is moving in with a family member.

I’m so heartbroken. I still love him. But the financial stress turns me into an absolute monster. I don’t feel secure and we fight constantly.

I had a lot of hope he’d shape up and grow up. It hurts double because it feels like he specifically won’t do it because he knows I’ll take care of it eventually.

I’m tired of people online crying hierarchy whenever they don’t get their way with a partner.

Your partners are allowed to choose metas over you. Or other non-romantic relationships.

Hierarchy looks like: this person comes first always because they are my [boyfriend, wife, nesting partner, whatever].

Preferences/prioritization is just a normal thing. Sometimes i prioritize time with my friends over times with my partners. Sometimes I choose to prioritize one partner over the other.

The difference is that this is fluid and circumstantial. Hierarchy says one person always has to come first. RA lets this be case by case.

Unicorn-hunting is obviously dehumanizing. But is there a way for couples to “date together” that respects the individual they are pursuing?

I’m a younger millennial dating a Gen Z woman. We got in a bit of a debate because I take reasonable criticism to be a sign that someone is trustworthy and won’t just say what I want to hear.

She gets upset with critiques and basically said a partner/friend should do nothing but hype the other person up. Her reasoning is people already have insecurities and negativity about themselves, so relationships should be a space to celebrate the positives.

Personally I find this disingenuous. I think it’s healthy that Gen Z seems more comfortable hyping people up (friends and even acquaintances), but I think SOME reality checks are important for the health of a relationship.

What is your take as a Gen Z person? Is my gf’s attitude prevalent or is this just a her thing?

TLDR girlfriend thinks relationships/friendship at for hyping people up. I think reality checks and staying grounded are also necessary.

Firstly, please no judgement to my partner. She is perfectly capable of making her own risk assessments.

Situation: my partner got into a hot and heavy digital conversation for a few weeks. It culminated in them meeting in person and having unprotected sex.

We live in a smallish town, so this is not a complete stranger…but it’s also not a risk I would have personally taken on a first hang out.

I’m struggling a little bit because one of my other metas is very adamant about not using protection with any of their partners. But that meta is very responsible, takes prep, generally mentally stable and wise when it comes to selecting sexual partners. And I know them and trust their judgment.

The reputation that this new person has is…not as responsible. But my partner did ask about testing and both partner and new person disclosed information and still decided to have unprotected sex.

I’m trying to figure out my own risk tolerance here. I’ve already decided to use barriers for certain types of sex, but I’m stuck on whether unprotected Oral sex is still on the table.

How would you make a risk assessment here? Is it fair to want to use barriers with my partner because they had unprotected sex with this new person even though they’ve been having unprotected sex with a meta who is open about taking similar risks??

I know that I can choose to use barriers regardless. But I’m conflicted as to whether my thinking makes sense and if I want to include barriers for oral sex.