How to get through the emotional pain
My Bipolar 2 spouse is medicated (last I knew), but has been in a depression downswing mixed with hypomania episodes (the times when he’s nicer and productive). But it’s been going downhill and getting worse with every passing year. The last 7 months have been a nightmare. Constantly snapping at me all the time. I can’t do anything right. I’m on constant eggshells. My doctor put me on meds for the anxiety. But his son is also mentally ill from maternal neglect and it’s been very hard on us both (he’s with us full time). So I’ve got an abusive teenage stepson with special needs, on top of an increasingly mean bipolar husband who does absolutely nothing to help around the house and yells at me as his chosen method of communication.
I ended up getting caregiver burnout and had a very minor snap. I dared to complain. That’s it. I just complained about my feelings being hurt and feeling invisible and unappreciated and like a 1950s housewife who also happens to work 60 hours a week, but from home, so all of my spare time is chores and cooking.
Me complaining just this once sent my bipolar 2 spouse into a severe depression fit. Extremely defensive. He moved into the guest room.
We have family therapists bc of our son, whose special needs are also destroying our relationship bc we can’t leave him alone, ever, even though he is 15! The therapists are here for our son, and for us. But they are not marriage counselors.
We both met with the therapists separately. Then they brought us together and told me that my husband is going to take an indefinite communication break from me to try and take care of himself. So now him and his son are living normal lives in our house while I am made to suffer and be given the full silent treatment, living like I’m an invisible person. I am so depressed. All of my family and friends live no less than 12 hours away. We moved to a new state for his job 11 months ago and I know no one, I have no one. And if I tell my family what is going on, they will never forgive my husband.
My will to live is zero. Nothing is making me happy living this way. I am going to the beautiful beaches. Roller skating. Going for walks. But the loneliness and isolation are eating me alive. I would end my life if it weren’t for my dog. I could never leave him alone with these monsters.
How can I make myself not want to die while living like an invisible person in my house, where I work, when I have nowhere to even go and no one to even give me a hug to make me feel like I exist?
Also - Doesn’t it seem weird that the therapists think him giving me the “indefinite” silent treatment is acceptable? That him refusing communicating with me, even in therapy, is somehow not abuse against me? Everything I’m reading online says this is abuse. All because I complained once. How could a mental health professional recommend the silent treatment against an already very abused person?
Are we not allowed to ever complain about the horrible way our bipolar spouses treat us?