Strategies to stop caring so much what others think?
Hi, I’m new here. I hate admitting that I’m in my mid-40s and been struggling with this since just about when I’ve had memory.
Looking around here, I‘m coming across suggestions to stop caring about how others judge you, like that is kind of the key? This makes so much sense to me, and it’s what I’ve been trying to get myself to do.
So how have you done this? What things have you done, told yourself, what strategies in the moment do you use, and where do you begin?
I’m in a profession that involves a lot of interpersonal interaction, often in high-stress situations. With my ‘masking’ I learned early on, repeated exposure in my work, lots of therapy, and a quite supportive partner, I’ve mostly ambled through it. But those occasional highly-triggering incidents still happen, they’re still highly distressing, and as much as I’ve worked through all the shame, etc., it’s still really frustrating and embarrassing. Even as I tell myself after the fact that there’s nothing wrong with me and mostly believe it.
It’s in the moment, either the full-on flood (awful!) or the less dreadful fawning (the be funny, be friendly, talk fast so you don’t take too much time and attention, which I am not even aware of until minutes later)— I’d like to function and think, and not be “weird” because im so clearly uncomfortable.
What have you tried? How do you get yourself to stop caring?