AITA for refusing to share my notes with a coworker who missed the meeting for a manicure
I work in a small marketing firm where the culture is generally pretty collaborative but we have this one person, lets call her Sarah, who has been pushing the limits of "work-life balance" lately. Last Thursday we had a mandatory strategy session for a new client that is basically going to be our main focus for the next quarter. It was a three hour deep dive into the technical specs and the budget constraints. Sarah wasnt there. She didnt call out sick or mention an emergency beforehand. She just wasnt in the room when we started and nobody knew where she was.
About an hour into the meeting, I saw a notification on my personal phone. Sarah had posted a story on her public Instagram showing her getting a full set of acrylics with the caption "Self care is a full time job" followed by some sparkles. I ignored it and kept taking notes because our lead is old school and expects a full breakdown of every action item by the end of the day. It was a lot of data to process and I spent the whole time making sure the technical details were accurate so we wouldnt screw up the implementation phase.
Sarah rolls into the office on Friday morning acting like nothing happened. She comes over to my desk, shows off her nails, and then casually asks if I can "shoot over the doc" with my notes from the strategy session because she needs to update her project timeline. I just looked at her and said no. I told her that since she was busy with her "self care" she should probably check with the manager or try to piece it together from the slide deck which is mostly just images and no actual data.
She got really defensive and said that as a team we are supposed to support each other and that I am being "weirdly territorial" over some text in a file. I pointed out that I am not a transcription service and that if she wanted the notes she should have been in the meeting instead of the salon. Now she is telling everyone that I am trying to sabotage her career and that I am being "unprofessional" by bringing up her social media posts. A few of our other coworkers said I should just send them to keep the peace but I honestly feel like she is just using the rest of us to cover for her total lack of effort.
Our manager noticed the tension and asked if there is a problem but I havent said anything official yet because I dont want to be the office snitch. Sarah is still icing me out and making loud comments about "toxic coworkers" whenever I walk into the breakroom. It is making the whole project feel awkward but I really do not feel like rewarding her for skipping out on a mandatory session while the rest of us were grinding through the details .
I am starting to wonder if I should have just sent the file to avoid the drama but at the same time I am tired of being the one who does all the heavy lifting while she gets the same credit .