Imposter syndrome for caregiver burnout
My father was diagnosed with cancer 3 years ago. It started at stage 3 colon cancer. He went on to get surgery and chemo followed by a year of remission and it came back as stage 4 in the liver. More chemo and more surgery, we have now been dealing with never ending complications from the liver surgery for the past year with hospitalisation every other week for infections and whatnot. I'm the only one in my family taking care of him, going to all the appointments, driving him to the emergency room (he is treated 3hrs away from home), staying with him during the weeks of hospitalizations, following up with doctors, researching and emotional support for him when he has suicidal ideations. I'm doing all of this on top of my own life and demanding career (70hrs/week usually) which I can't take breaks from as he has no revenue anymore and I must pay for his mortgage on top of mine. I don't take care of him everyday, he lives alone, but I still feel the burnout from all of it. All the emotional toll, the exhaustion of not dropping the ball at work when I'm in the hospital with him for weeks supporting him and working at night to catch up. Some people in my family don't work or have many obligations but still don't take care of him and never show up, which adds a layer of resentment. But on top of it all I feel like my burnout is not justified as it could be worse, like I'm not there everyday taking care of him, I still have my life and time for me but I'm so burned out. People don't understand how I can be burnt out by it, I feel ashamed of being this way but I am. I honestly don't know why I'm ranting on here, perhaps to not feel as alone in this, to get perspective or just to put it out there.
TLDR: caregiver to my father for his cancer journey but not full time although the sole caregiver and feeling ashamed of being burnt out.