AITA for being annoyed that my housemate’s gf has become an unofficial 3rd housemate
So for context I (27f) have lived with my housemate (27m) for a year and a half. We live a pretty small 3 bedroom house. It is only the two of us and he wanted a third housemate, but I told him I would move out if that happened. Not out of spite, but because I really like my personal space which would be hard to get in our little place. I am also a shift worker so having more people in the house means more noise and less sleep for me.
A few months ago he started dating a girl (27f). She would come over on weekends for the first couple of months, which didn’t bother me.
But by month 3 she is now over daily. Whether it’s her coming over for majority of the day or staying the night. She is currently staying over 5-6 times a week. I feel like I see her more than anyone in my life. She is nice and I don’t have any issues with her personally. Just an issue with how often she is over. One day I was on night shift and sleeping during the day, when I heard a noise. I knew my housemate was at work so it wasn’t him. That’s when I realised she was there without him, which I feel like is an overstep.
We had not previously discussed having partners over as we both had been single for years. I didn’t know how to bring up the conversation so I asked him if they would ever stay at her place, as they never have. He said he wouldn’t because she lives with her parents. She was in the house but not in the room when we had this conversation and he said we should talk about it when she’s not here. To which I said let me know when that happens, as she quite literally is always there. (Petty I know but I had made comments to him prior about her being over often, with no change).
Since the walls are paper thin she overheard this conversation and was upset by it. I can understand why she is upset, but I feel like I am not being unreasonable. I am paying to live there and she is not, so her comfortability should not override me.
He said that I should have expected this would happen eventually, but I feel like it would be expected that they would stay at both of their houses. I reminded him that I didn’t want a third housemate and that is what it feels like has happened. I feel like a constant third wheel in my own home. I made it very clear to him that I do not have an issue with her personally, as it wouldn’t matter who the girl is. To which he joked about me being jealous (eye roll).
So there’s two things that bother me. 1. Another person in our little house, making me feel like a third wheel. 2. Her being over often would be increasing the bills and she is not contributing.
AITA for thinking it’s unreasonable for her to stay over 5-6 nights a week when she’s not contributing to rent or bills?
TL;DR I am sick of my housemates girlfriend being over 5-6 nights a week and he thinks it shouldn’t be an issue.