u/AutistiKait

So I have a meeting scheduled for September the first. It’s to discuss my interests, goals and my support needs and whether or not this new program would be a good fit for me. I’m hopeful and excited but at the same time super apprehensive about what well decide. My parents don’t think it would be good for me because I have college beginning soon and it might be too academically demanding. I’m really worried that we won’t be able to participate since it won’t be a good fit for me, time wise :(.

Hi guys, sorry again for posting for the THIRD TIME today, but i really love sharing my thoughts with others who get me in terms of support needs and unpalatable autism experiences.

Anyway, as the title says, i'm currently worrying about what my future will be for me, especially when it comes to supported independent living and having a support worker be with me instead of it just being my parents helping me out with tasks like they are doing right now.

I think this is due to the struggle with change that us autistics tend to struggle a lot with. Like i just dislike this change, and my parents are telling me that this will start happening like a couple of years into the future. I have a long time before i can actually start to plan alongside my parents, yet i am already freaking out a bit about this.

Like i don't know what supported independent living actually is like, staff from my old school have said it's like an apartment building but when my case manager was asked she says that i could join a program if i had lived at home with my parents but that i had a basement floor all to myself. It's presented as not a choice, but still a choice all at the same time.

But they, in the same meeting, had also suggested that i could go and live at a group home. They were even saying that i could stay in my room and all. But we've known that a group home is too strict for me as i'd always see them as being only for autistics with really high support needs even though logically i know it can be for everyone who can't live at their own homes for one reason or the other.

So, basically, i just don't have a certain plan. I know i keep on whining about this on here, but this is an outlet so that i don't annoy my parents by always talking and whining on and on about this to them. I'm honestly thinking of asking them to request a caseworker so she can help me and my parents out with their planning, and so i could feel more secure in my future, you know?

(Also sorry to the mod team for spam posting, i just have a ton of things that i really wanted to get off my chest today..)

Other autism communities online that i have joined have seemed to be not inclusive to everyone with autism, despite what they have said in their description and on their rules sections.

Which is frustrating because they say something that they are while in reality they aren't exactly as they say they are, if that makes any sense?

However, this sub isn't one of those spaces that describes themselves as inclusive while they're actually not.

This sub describes itself as inclusive for people with higher support needs autism, and i have seen no evidence that suggests this description is wrong.

And that's why i love this space.

Even if you disagree or make a point that the majority here don't seem to agree with, they won't insult or be generally rude to you, they'll explain their point and their reasoning behind why they disagree with your point.

Especially on Reddit, this sub feels like a breath of fresh air.

(I wish there was some kind of a discussion flair because this post is a post aiming to create discussion, and more so i could find anyone else who also struggles with black and white thinking like i do.)

Hello again, i'm posting again. But i love this sub and consider it to be a safe space, especially as someone with medium support needs autism and since every other sub seems to not be inclusive of people with higher support needs autism. I think i've said this before, but i can't stop gushing and being thankful for finally finding a space where others can relate to me.

Anyway, now onto the post topic itself. As the title reads, i struggle a lot with my black and white thinking.

I can't just understand that two things can be true at once, or that both things or people involved in a discussion are both bad or that they're both good or that it was just a mistake on either end of the "sides", so to speak.

So when someone speaks out about there being nuance and that not everything is so black and white, i've noticed that i tend to become defensive and assume that the person is mad at me, even if there is evidence pointing towards the person not being mad but just wanting to correct something.

This has caused me to have online arguments where the other person says that i'm misinterpretting what they've said, and some have even accused me of putting words into their mouths or otherwise that i am talking about something that they've never even mentioned in the first place.

And that has caused me to have meltdowns, especially back in the day, because at that point they've gotten so mad that they have started to call me names or be more direct (Ironic since i want people to be direct most of the time..).

Like, for example, someone says in a comment section underneath one of my posts, "two things can be true at once blah blah" which is them saying that in a situation, both person A and person B did shitty things. I hope this example makes sense, i can't quite word things as easily or as understandably as i did beforehand (It doesn't help that i literally just woke up an hour or two ago).

Anyway, for another more hopefully understandable example, they disagree with my point of that Person A is bad or that Person B is good so they pointed it out by saying again, that two things can be true which means that both people in the hypothetical situation has done shitty things or are both somewhat shitty people in a way. I again hope this makes sense. And they would make a gentle or polite comment about that including their thoughts.

However, to me, it came off as being negative or as if the person is defending either person when in reality, that isn't the case.

I reckon that this happens because i tend to get angry and frustrated really easy, which in turn clouds my otherwise logical judgment and makes me assume things. This can also lead me to think very black and white, since i think the logical part of the brain gets turned off during high emotion/intensity moments such as these.

I guess this is also due to my problem with taking things too personally on the internet as well. Like, i think i'm also black and white when it comes to the seriousness of things that happen on social media, like for example when i get hate comments or replies that were insulting me and my looks instead of just politely disagreeing.

My mom says that i shouldn't take what people online say to and about me that seriously, but i can't help but always feel so sad and stupid every time no matter what. Sometimes i can deal with it better but other times, it's caused me to have meltdowns because i'd lash out at those around me due to not being able to deal with the comment or reply.

I don't really know where i'm going with this post, what point i'm trying to get across, but i guess i just wanted to share my experiences as that is what i've been talking about for this entire post. I guess i also want to see if anyone else can relate, because i feel so alone when it comes to this struggle.

Hi, everyone. I'm an old member who just got their account back and so, am posting again.

I am on my way to starting college after this summer break. The college course is fully online, so i won't have someone drive me to college every day.

I have graduated from high school, and i'm currently in summer break, and let me just say this; It is just so boring! Nothing is happening in real life except for the odd drama or situation that starts over on social media every few months or so.

I have literally nothing to do and so i am just whiling my time online because again, i literally have nothing to do. No programs, no classes, not even shopping trips with me and my parents as they don't shop a lot.

The only things that are happening, and so i am really excited for them to come as a result, are this event which is an info night for a service provider that provides services for youth and adults with developmental disabilities, then next month is a family day at my dad's workplace.

But other than that, that's it. We've been looking for programs but nobody has responded to my mom's email yet. She sent an email to the directors of two programs that i showed her because i liked them, and still also no email was responded to.

I don't understand what is going on and if i would need to contact a developmental services agency caseworker for help on enrolling me into their programs or not, but there's no mention of doing either of this on the website for the developmental services agency or on that service provider's page.

And i can't just get up and walk to places, nor drive, due to my autism. I'm not independent enough (YET) to be able to do these things. My mom or other parent would need to be with me everytime i go out into the public, and sometimes, she can't drive nor accompany me to places due to stuff that she has to do.

I don't like it when people, especially autistic people who are independent (I am aware that you guys have your own struggles too, i am not invalidating them.), tell me that i can do it or act surprised or otherwise shocked that i cannot drive by myself or even be out in public without adult supervision.

Like there are autistic people out there who more or less have the same kind of needs as i do, like there are others out there who also need caregivers (official and unofficial like parents) and adult supervision that makes it so they can't do stuff like being out in the public without them due to safety reasons.

Yet people don't know or are surprised when confronted with the fact that these people exist, and that i (who is talking to them) am one of those people. And every time that this happens, it really annoys me. I am feeling alone in the autism community, and just, not representated.

I am feeling actively ignored when i speak to someone lower support needs than me, especially if they are surprised that people with medium or higher support needs like me exists around them.

If anything, i'm just so jealous of these autistic people who can these sorts of things independently, because it seems to me that they can do whatever they want (Within reason ofc or without idk) without having to worry about their parents' being able to drive and to supervise them while out in public.

Like i also don't understand how you can do this, what is stopping me from learning these skills?

I have wanted to go to life skills classes during high school but i couldn't because the class just wasn't suited for me and my needs, but if there was a class that taught exclusively life skills i really would have loved to join. Same goes for any programs that teaches the same skills.

I'm just frustrated and miserable right now, as i'm sure you could tell if you're reading until now on this post. (Also sorry for the long post and the fact that i had posted twice all in the same day.)

In just a week's time, me and my parents and grandparents will be going to this info night event.

The event is for families and for people with developmental disabilities, and apparently, one of the organizations that will be there will be introducing a new 12-week-long program that focuses on hands on skill development as well as meaningful community inclusion.

However, they will also introduce their tiered support system which they say is designed to empower families while they are helping their loved ones successfully transition into adulthood.

I'm excited to come with my parents because hopefully it could give us some help when it comes to finding services and programs for me to join!

I will make another post on how the night went, and with any information that i really wanted you guys to know because it was interesting for me.

Hey guys, i have forgotten the password for this account, but i have fixed it all and now i can log back into this account.

So, while i was gone (I was using u/kitkitkate2 for some reason but i am sure it has something to do with not knowing the password for this account after a long break off of Reddit), i had been assessed by the provincial developmental services agency, and the results came back stating that i was on the 73rd percentile which meant i am moderate support needs.

Which was so relieving, but now after a while, i was falling into the spiral (As i had posted about on my u/kitkitkate2 account) of thinking that the assessor was somehow wrong or that my mom had been lying even though she isn't known to lie. She hasn't even lied to me in these past few years.

Anyway, i am relieved to know that i was indeed medium support needs after a long time of guessing and just... Spiraling. But that ended with the results paper being handed to me.

Edit: before anyone asks how i know, here is a quote from the report that listed my support needs: " u/AutistiKait is in the 73rd percentile on the Supports Intensity Scale – Adult Version, 2nd Edition. This means that, generally u/AutistiKait ’s support needs fall in the mid compared to other adults with a developmental disability."

Edit 2: Here is the link to the post talking of me spiralling about my support needs. https://www.reddit.com/r/SpicyAutism/s/jsDsfKHh5h . I will have a link that sends you to a comment that helped me understand my percentile and what it meant for me in terms of support needs. Here is the comment link: https://www.reddit.com/r/SpicyAutism/comments/1vqwwws/comment/p4auvw7/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button