Im in love with someone i cant have
Heres some context, me and Soso dated for about 3ish years on and off from 2020-2023 we went no contact for the last two years until i drunk texted them (knowing they had a bf) and told them i wanted to see them and be with them, weve been sexually active a lot since then and the chemistry is insane, my closest family and friends DO NOT like her and DO NOT support me dating her let alone being the way weve been, she has a long distance boyfriend lets call him J, J is okay with us being active because they are long distance and open sexually, but i can tell this is more than just a sexual fling, im invested in who she is one way or another, but its starting to kill me being friends with her, my friends say to just cut her off but i find that toxic and rude considering i reached out, i just wish she was open romantically so i can be with her, i dont hate J but do not like him either, which makes it harder to be willing to try polyamory, any gender nonconforming baddies now how im feeling?