Funeral
My FIL is a hyperactive man who has never learned what it means to have adult children. My husband and I are late 30s/early 40s and I learned in my decade being married to him that FIL is neurotic when traveling. I went on two family trips with him and had a miserable time with him wanting everything to go his way otherwise he would get angry/upset and ruin things for everyone else. Example: we picked a restaurant to have dinner on our last trip, he didn't like it when we pulled up and wanted something else like MCD's so he ruined the dinner for everyone by refusing to leave the car to go sit down and eat.
Anyways the latest frustration I have is that I traveled to another state with my husband for his grandmothers end of life and eventual passing. It was a heavy time for family and I originally took 3 vacation days to cover my absence from work, after she passed I took a few additional bereavement days.
Husband and I flew one way to grandmas state with the idea we would fly back after she passed. On Friday of that weekend my FIL drove by himself for 10 hours without telling any of his family (including my MIL). I think he thought it was a cute surprise or something and he would be able to provide us a car to drive back together as a fam.
Husband and I do not want to travel with him anymore because of his crazy attitude while traveling.
The day of the funeral/burial he texted in the family chat "everybody be ready we will head home after burial" which really ticked me off because not only had we had 0 rest days leading up to it, I also didn't want to leave immediately after burial. I responded to him that it will be too stressful to leave today as we haven't rested much. Then he called me with the same request and over the phone I was ticked again so maybe I sounded irritated but I told him again that it won't work we are tired and we cannot drive 10 hours back and we can find a flight for him to go back since he has to get back to work.
Turns out my response either HOW i said it or the refusal ticked him off. He proceeded to ignore us completely at the burial. He even took the family car early to the graveyard by himself while 9 other people from the extended family including us were at the house waiting to be transported to the gravesite. When my husband called him he didn't pick up and he even told people present at the burial that "they can figure it out for themselves, Im not going to pick them up"
He booked a flight back for early next AM and went back home.
He is still angry with me and doesn't want to talk or interact.
I'm also in response angry with him. I don't think I did anything wrong except maybe my tone could have been nicer. In my defense, I was cornered and caught off guard at his request to leave immediately after burial.
Anyways i just wanted to vent to someone.