u/Automatic-Air-1611

I’m

I know what I need to do to get my period back (eat more, stop tracking calories so obsessively) but it’s so hard when I’m not underweight in the first place.

I lost almost 30 pounds in a year and went from a healthy BMI on the higher side (~160ish pounds) to the lower end of healthy (~136 pounds) but still far from underweight. I’m also 5’10 so I know that I need more calories than the typical female to begin with.

I just feel like “recovering” is not something that I should.. need to do?? It just feels so unfair to me that my body won’t accept this weight that I am at. I look back at old pictures and I look so big and I don’t want to get back to that point because I was also overeating a lot :(

I’m so scared to spiral out of control and can already tell I’m losing a bit of this “control” which is so hard to deal with. I’m also constantly thinking about food and have this mental hunger that dosent seem to go away.

I guess I just feel like an imposter or something. I’m not underweight, I still eat all day (albeit volume foods and not snacks I really want) and I don’t even know if anyone can tell I have a problem (which I want them to be able to for some reason) 🫩 idk what the point of this was but I just wanted to get it off my chest