Title: I accidentally started an argument between my parents and now my mom is talking about divorce. I don’t know what to do. please help
Hi, I’m a 15-year-old guy from Japan, and I think I accidentally caused a huge argument between my parents.
A few days ago, around 8 PM, I was talking with my mom about relationships while sitting at my desk. I mentioned that I might want to stay single for my whole life. My dad then joked, “He probably thinks that because he grew up watching us.”
My mom immediately got very upset and started asking my dad if he meant he wanted a divorce. My dad apologized right away and said it was only a joke and that he didn’t mean it like that, but the argument became much bigger after that.
My mom said that my dad is emotionally distant and doesn’t understand her feelings. She also said that she wants him to continue working at his government job until retirement, and that if he does not want that, maybe they should separate.
My dad responded by listing all the things he does for the family. He works full time, comes home around 7 PM, cooks dinner, helps us study, does laundry, washes dishes, cleans the house, and takes care of me and my siblings. My mom replied that those are “just normal responsibilities” and not something special.
Another major issue is that my dad has recently become very interested in stock trading. Both of my parents work government jobs, but my dad seems exhausted with his current life. After work and housework, he stays up late researching companies, earnings reports, and the stock market almost every night.
I do not know the exact amount he has earned, but I believe he made around $10,000 this year from stocks alone, which is a significant amount compared to average income in Japan. My mom seems to see his interest in stocks and quitting his job as irresponsible or dangerous, while my dad seems to want a different future for himself.
I think my family situation has also affected the way I see relationships.
My dad usually supports me emotionally and encourages me to study, even if we sometimes disagree. He also often tries to calm arguments between my mom and me.
My relationship with my mom has been much harder. When she gets angry, she can become extremely harsh. When I was around 9, she forced me to leave the house during winter with only a small amount of money. Another time, when I was younger, she picked me up and threw me onto a sofa hard during an argument.
She is also very strict about technology and privacy. I am not allowed to play games, message friends, browse the internet freely, or own a smartphone without supervision. Last year, I bought a Surface Laptop 5 with money I earned myself, but I still need permission to even turn it on or bring it to a friend’s house.
I understand that parents are supposed to set rules, but sometimes I feel emotionally exhausted and controlled at home.
Since the argument, my parents have barely talked to each other for two days, and the atmosphere at home feels terrible. I feel guilty because the conversation started because of me, even though I know their issues probably existed long before this happened.
Should I try to talk to them, or would interfering make things worse? Is there anything I can realistically do to help my family situation?
TL;DR: I’m a 15-year-old from Japan and a conversation I had with my parents accidentally turned into a huge argument about their marriage. My mom is now talking about divorce, mainly because my dad wants to quit his government job someday and focus more on stock trading. My dad does most of the housework and supports me emotionally, while my relationship with my mom has been much harsher and controlling. My parents have barely spoken for two days, and I feel guilty and worried that I caused this situation. I don’t know if I should interfere or just stay out of it.