Literature on delayed social processing issues for high-maskers?
I had a quick flash of a revelation that it takes me significantly longer to process social interactions than what I assume it does for people who are neurotypical and/or more socially adept, and I was wondering if anyone has good primary/secondary sources that might provide insight?
I fall into the gifted/scholastically high-achieving category and tend to view myself as relatively high-masking, but I still notice and suffer the consequences of social gaps beyond what I interpret as typical. (Self-diagnosed around 30, so there's been a lot of learning in the few years since.) I have a feeling it could be attributed to an intersection of alexythymia, general/social anxiety, context-based understanding, and rumination, but I'm not familiar with the literature
I guess I'm looking for more information as to why this feels like such a struggle for me? I find so much value in connecting with people, but I seem to keep making the same mistakes, and often can't pinpoint what went wrong until much later. I frequently find myself in situations that felt functional until they definitely weren't, and ended up with someone VERY upset with me, when I had no idea there was an issue in the first place, or that I'd mishandled anything.
I can't make left or right out of whether or not I'm the problem, and, honestly, it feels consuming so much of the time. I'm almost always nervous that I'm unintentionally making social transgressions that I am either unaware of or didn't remember to navigate in the moment
Literature, perspectives, commiseration, and strategies for managing this are greatly appreciated ❤️