My life is over
i just need to rant. i work at sephora and i truly love it. i’ve been there since november and i actually was able to function well despite a few bumps in the road. i was going to school alongside of it, so i had a jam packed schedule. i picked up whatever shifts i could get. fast forward to around april, i started flaring REALLY bad. i had someone who was really close to me completely wrong me and it was super detrimental to my nervous system, as this happened alongside my uncle passing away suddenly, semester final examinations, and really awnry temperature fluctuations. i’ve been trying to bounce back from this but i feel like i cannot keep up.
i’ve called out from work quite a lot in the past week, most shifts. either that or i tried to go and had to leave towards the end because i became so symptomatic. this is just so unlike me. i’m supposed to have inventory (8.75 hours each, 5:45-2:30) the next 3 days and i just physically don’t think i can do it. i’m terrified of having an episode at work. i have been having panic attacks because of my episodes because i’m scared i will pass out or die and it is just exacerbating everything. i’m probably gonna have to call out again tomorrow and i am so scared i am gonna get fired. i really love my job and was an outstanding employee prior. i’m gonna call my manager and explain everything to the best of my ability, but i’m worried she won’t understand. i don’t want to lose my job. i am hoping this is just a flare and it will pass. i’m only 21 and feel like my life is over. i’m even debating changing my major from something outside of healthcare because what if it’s too physically demanding for me?