I feel stuck
I'm a vocal performance major at a top music conservatory.
l've gotten a lead role in a musical freshman year.
I was a lead role in a French opera my sophomore year. Won a national competition and
understudied the role of Figaro for a professional opera company the summer after. Now I'm in my junior year and I feel hopeless about school.
I still love performing and music and working towards being better, but | just can't stand being in school. I feel like I've just barely gotten by grade wise the last 2 years and now it appears my luck of getting by educationally has dried up. I sit in class now and have no internal motivation to intake what is being taught and when I get back to my room my heart just has no motivation to study or get homework done and I feel really stuck.
Don't get me wrong I'm pretty smart and have a good understanding of what's being given to me but I just sit down at the end of the day and I stare at my homework like it's a blank page which is resulting in me majorly falling behind and I don't know what to do anymore.
I try to communicate with my teachers but I always get told the same (just finish the degree) so it just gets harder every day. My lack of urgency to show up and work hard and be proud of what I'm doing and learning is driving me insane but my heart and brain have no will to improve no matter what I try and convince myself.
I just feel hopeless.