u/Automatic_Salary_551

I just hit two weeks yesterday, just a few thoughts and observations.
I quit using a combination of willpower and the ideas from Allen Carrs book. I hadn’t finished the book yet (so I wasn’t following the “instructions” to continue to smoke until the book is done) but I just ran out of cigarettes and wanted to give it a go. The first few days were miserable, but by the time a week passed, it didn’t bother me at all.
Im still not done Allen Carrs book, but Im very close to the end now. But I cannot believe how much it helped me. I think about cigarettes in a completely different way now that I didn’t think was possible. After I bought the book, it sat on the shelf for 6 months because I was scared it wouldn’t work for me… and also scared that maybe it would work. I can’t believe the way cigarettes can twist your mind up.
I happened to quit at a fairly stressful time at work. Which was triggering because thats how my addiction really started getting out of control. Smoking constantly to “help me get through work”. But I don’t know I just…. Didn’t do it?? And after a few days it was fine???? Ive also done other things like going out drinking and hanging out with friends that are smoking right next to me. It crosses my mind to smoke but it’s easily brushed off now. Which is unbelievable considering how overpowering and irresistible it used to feel.
I was sitting on the bus a few days ago and thought to myself… was I ever really addicted?? There’s surely no way. I thought.. I must have been overreacting and I wasn’t “really addicted”. Obviously that is not the case - logically I know that. But its hard to even imagine now.
I see people walking down the street smoking now and my thought is… thank god thats not me. Im so happy. I was SOOOOO jealous of non smokers and now I finally am one. For the people in my life who are still addicted I want to hold their hand and beg them to read this book.
Im so beyond happy and grateful and I really feel like a new person. I feel so much more confident that I no longer have this dirty, shameful addiction to hide. I enjoy my time with others so much more. I feel like I want to try dating again. Its just so amazing not having to hide what felt like such a huge aspect of my life out of embarrassment and shame. Not that anyone else should feel embarrassed or ashamed but… thats certainly how I felt. I really feel that I will never smoke again. Thank god I never have to smoke again.

Today is the seventh day since my last cigarette :) its going pretty good. Im a bit worried because Im going to a DJ set at a club tonight. With so many people smoking around this kind of place, Im afraid I will be tempted to ask someone for a cigarette. I’ve done this during previous quit attempts, but this attempt does feel different. I feel less like Im using willpower and more like I genuinely do not want to smoke. Either way I feel like tonight will be a true test. Wish me luck.

I want to share the experience I had just now. Ive been cycling through cigarettes, vaping and NRTs for years now and at some point I realized willpower alone is simply not working. Ive been trying to put more thought into my nicotine addiction and Ive also been reading Allen Carrs book. Last night around 10pm I smoked the last cigarette from my pack. Tonight around 6pm the cravings started getting unbearable and I was gearing up to go buy a pack. But for some reason I decided to stop and journal. I remembered that by smoking now, all I would be doing is prolonging this agony. Guaranteeing that I will go through this cycle AT LEAST one more time if not infinite more times until I die. I dont want to do this anymore. I hate this feeling. I don’t want to be a smoker anymore. I started crying. Like sobbing. Because right now i think the only real way to get out of this is to have this experience of withdrawal. The only way out is to simply not smoke. To feel this pain and discomfort. I dont know. Im even still crying now. Im a wreck. I just want this to be over. I want to be free. I feel like Ive had this emotional pain simmering under the surface for a long time, numbed and tucked away by smoking. But right now Im just staring it in the face. I still want to smoke so terribly bad dont get me wrong.