u/Autumn-orange0906

Don't know if my reality has been distorted from working in toxic teams in the last 4 years or if we are in a new reality now. But does anyone still end work at a reasonable hour more often than not? Or does everyone work until 7PM pm every night, order dinner real quick because you're starving, and then jump back on to your laptop at 9:30PM to continue working until midnight. Cry a little, and then get ready for bed?

There was a period where I refused to work more than 10 hours a day. Because the thing is, it's not enforced to work inhumane hours, but it's expected when they give you 6 tasks all with a deadline a day a part from each other. Or ask you for updates at 11AM on a project they assigned to you 4:30PM the night before. But the stress from knowing I won't have enough time to complete those tasks if I stopped working after 10 hours was just as damaging to my health and mental health as working 12+ hour days.

Late 30s, diagnosed last year due to my inability to mask anymore. Worked in big tech where toxicity was so rampant, it drove me into a hole and now I literally have trouble integrating back to society. I hid every part of myself so my toxic team couldn't access it, and I literally don't know what the point of working is anymore. This is really affecting my ability to get a new a job after getting laid off almost 7 months ago. I've been on so many interviews, I feel like I am going on a first date over and over again. I can't fake my smile, and honestly don't know why people should hire me anymore.

I don't have people to rely on. Partially my fault because I am a bit weird, but also am dealing with a lot of trauma from growing up in an extremely emotionally abusive household. And now, I am a strange hermit. This has been 4 years in the making, so it's not that I turned my back on society overnight. It happened gradually and long enough that I am actually confused about the basics of human interaction. Every time I have an interview, I feel like I am crawling out of my hole, and trying so hard to re-join society. My smile creeps even myself out. Question for my adhd corporate girlies, how do I conform again so I can get a job and not be a hermit heading into poverty? As someone with adhd, I hate being controlled by others and work itself is a form of control. And now that I have dropped my mask, and I mean the entire mask, I can't seem to get over the fact that strangers have the ability to control whether I get to sleep that night or spend my entire 24 hours working on a meaningless project.