u/Autumn_admires — reddlx

Hi! Just asking this because I'm genuinely curious what the general opinion is on the right move to make here!

Currently on a mild body recomp fat-loss journey and hoping to lose about 5-7 pounds worth of fat to start while training to build lean muscle.

(am 5'2 and weigh approximately 138 lbs right now)

My calorie budget for today is 1480 kcal.

I have consumed three full balanced meals, and currently stand at 1410 calories according to the stats I've logged. (Weighed and measured everything via scale)

So far...

Protein is 65g/100g alotted

Fat is 60g/58g alotted

Carbs are 140/145g alotted

Fibre is 19/20-24g alotted

I have technically 70 calories I can still use.

I can either be done for the and hit my calorie deficit, or... maybe... reach close to my protein goal and have a Fairlife CorePower milkshake that has 26g of protein left, but go a little above in a calorie surplus in terms of my budget. *the calories for the shake is 170 kcal*

For context. I worked out two days go and did an upper body work out with progressive overload and walked 10,000 steps.

Yesterday I hit 7000 steps but mostly rested (was pretty low energy.)

Today I felt a bit more energized but still not 100%, although still motivated to do a light work out tonight! :)
And may do a leg day tomorrow at the gym!

If you were in my shoes, what would you do to help better yourself?

Last year, I posted progress of my journey to become physically fit.

I'm 5'2 ft / 158 cm.

In December 2024, I was still living with my abusive ex, and had felt myself lose control of my life.

In March 2025, I was on a journey to take back my power and use all the emotional fall out from it to get stronger so I would never feel weak and defenseless again.

I had gotten so close to my goal weight, (120 lbs) going from 135 lbs to 127 lbs in a span of a few months. And I was so proud of myself. I wanted to keep it up and go even harder----

But then in October 2025, life through another heart ache at me. I will not go too deep into details.... but I was basically forced to move again for the second time in a single year because of a narcisstic family member who put their own wellbeing above me and another. And it was at that time I felt my whole world fall a part again.

I fell off. HARD. I was basically depressed and unmotivated. And I had gained back all the weight I lost, and more. And I hit 142 lbs for the first time in my life.

And I hated myself for it

Ive been going to the gym again. Hoping that number would shrink the same way. I did the calorie deficit harder, walked more, intermittent fasted even more...

But to my surprise. The number barely budged, and kept fluctuating between the same 5 of 6 pounds. And I was getting so frustrated.

My body dysmorphia had convinced me I was a failure, and that it was too late for me to recover and bounce back the same way now that I hit my 30s.

I hated how I just couldn't be the same person I was from before. And was nearly close to stopping again...

But to my surprise. I met up with some friends whom I hadn't seen since October, the same month I got kicked out. And they couldnt get over how "toned" and in great shape I was!

And it truly had taken me a back. Because I didnt *feel* like i had made progress. That i had gotten toned again

I took a selfie at my gym yesterday as a way to track progress. But I looked at myself and just realized that...

Nobody in my life sees the number when they look at me. Nobody measures me that way like I do myself.

Nobody sees the same self-critical details and flaws that I see in myself.

All they saw was how I showed for myself yourself. And the effort I had put into getting back on that horse called Life after it knocked me down, again and again.

I guess in that way... I had succeeded without knowing.

Today I am 138 lbs. And although there is still that nagging voice in my head telling me to shrink that number...

Id like to gently remind myself that the number doesn't tell the whole story.

What matters to me the most now...is my relationship with food has healed, what I am putting into my body is fuel mixed with a little bit of joy here and there, and what I'm doing to take care of myself physically for my mental health, and so I can continue to grow stronger and keep myself agile as the years keep goint well beyond my 30s.

Thank you for everyone who's read this post!