Hey everyone,
I’ve been seeing a guy for about 6 weeks. We had daily communication, hung out 4-6 times a week, and it felt really connected and genuine. He at some times would get distant with texting but if I sent a double text or just wait it out he would almost always come back within 24-48 hours. He was very upfront from the very beginning that he has bipolar (not exactly sure if he has BP 1 or 2) and warned me multiple times that he gets depressive lows where he can pull back for weeks at a time. He also said he could just wake up one day and want absolutely nothing to do with me — that’s why he wanted to take things slow.
Around 3 weeks in I got anxious and brought up “what are we” — I regretted it because it was mostly my anxiety talking when things had been going great and he gave me the answer of just seeing where this is going an that’s what I wanted but sometimes I feel like I just need to know all aspects of everything (he was wanting to get to know me, saying he remembers everything I said and if he forgets he wants to remember, could feel my anxiety and gave reassurance,etc.).
About 2 weeks ago he texted that he’s not doing well mentally, might need to take a step back to get his sh!t together, and that it has nothing to do with me — he just doesn’t want to take it out on me. He hasn’t reached out since. I respected the space but sent one anxious follow-up a few days later.
He’s unmedicated right now (no insurance and has been managing with diet and routine for years) and not in therapy.
but other people with bipolar I’ve talked to say he seems pretty self-aware and is handling it the best he can in his situation.
I’m spiraling pretty hard. Part of me believes this is exactly the low he described and he’ll come back when it lifts. Another part is terrified it’s a gentle letdown or that my anxious text pushed him away. He still follows me and hasn’t unfollowed, but he stopped viewing my stories.
Has anyone been in a similar early dating situation with bipolar (especially unmedicated)? Did they come back after the first big pull-back? How did you handle the uncertainty and your own anxiety while waiting? Any advice for protecting my mental health right now?
Thank you ❤️