Astronaut
I originally began writing this poem over a year ago as a way to accept my past. I have been writing and rewriting for a long time. I understand that it is not free verse like many of the poems that are popular today, but I wrote it purposefully. It is my first real poem, so it might not be the greatest but I would appreciate some feedback. It has a lot of scientific terminology and depth, and it's not meant for everyone.
Astronaut
In a void, falling, untethered, Though unbound, completely helpless. Years of darkness I have weathered. In this ink-stained null, I'm hopeless. A chilling dread engulfs my frame, Like an absolute-zero flame.
Through tears, I face the deep abyss, And plead for any warmth or might. I wonder where I was remiss Casting me through growing midnight. A shattered obsidian bud Pulled by an unseen tendril flood.
No one to hear my muted yells; Against the sky I disappear. The pain I feel while all esle quells, The event horizon draws near. This Bēitòng! Toska! "Why?" I ask. Ice fractals forming 'round my mask.
Drifting around my endless night, My oxygen is running low. Abandoned in my futile fight, I surrender to the halo. Gravity warping everything In my entropic suffering.
Suddenly, a burst of pure light, Like all gamma-ray bursts combined, Wrapped me in radiant arms tight, And brought calming peace to my mind. For the first time, I felt true hope, A light which needs no telescope.
A voice whispered to my torn heart, I know you, your journey, your pain, My strength and help did not depart. Your silent cry was not in vain. Through weight, much faith and heart you've grown. Even in times you felt unknown.
Now calmed was my careening flight. Once warmth unfelt and spark eclipsed, The stars, brilliant, glow blue-white. The beauty I had never glimpsed. I still feel pain, but I will grow to the God of refuge I'll go.
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1sgqbqr/comment/oks7ivi/?context=3
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1t7s5y6/comment/oks79bg/?context=3