Estranged Father Initiated Contact. What to do?
Tl;dr:
My homophobic father whom I haven't spoken in a little under 2 years reached out to get me to sign a document. I'm struggling with how, if at all, to reply.
Full story:
I went limited contact with my parents back in Nov. 2024 because they're both homophobic. They called my partner of 7 years a roommate, my mother would only refer to him as "it", they refused to visit the home we shared together, and never wanted to meet him. They were happily there for the break up though.
Things finally came to a head when I confronted them about it and said if they refused to meet any of my partners I didn't want them in my life. Things understandably fell apart from there.
My mother, the primary abuser, tried to DARVO me while my father, the "relatable" but narcissitic parent tried to pretend he was an ally despite him being the one to tell me I could never bring my partner around and, in effect, had to be in the closet around them. They both left that evening without us finishing the discussion after I brought up my mother being the first person to call me the f-slur and slipping out a. F-bomb in frustration. I'd apparently, "taken things too far."
I tried to connect with my father immediately after the interaction to give him the opportunity to actually be an ally, but he essentially said my boundaries need to be flexible with family (i.e., I'm comfortable with the same, sweep it under the rug way of life we've been living,) and that I can't blame them for my miserable life. (Mind you, I love my life, never said otherwise, and only wanted them to get over the homophobia.) When I responded as such, he left me on read and later unfriended me.
Since then he's tried a few odd ways of reaching out including guilt tripping when the family dog died, messaging my cat's instagram page 40+ times, and sending a transphobic reel to an old group chat with my brother. He's also simplified my reason for the reduced contact as, "I'm mad at them" to anyone that will listen.
I last saw them at a wedding where my mother stared from across the room and my father actively covered his face with papers every time my brother or I passed the table.
My father reached out to me today and I'm just not sure how to approach it. The guilt trip, the false time expansion, the obvious ploy to just have a conversation...it's all just too much. Would love to hear thoughts.