I feel like most of the time I can't even do the simplest things, just because I am too anxious or assume people will get upset. Like... most of the time I can't even get myself to ask a friend to just hang out for a bit because I assume they dislike me or just agree because they feel bad for me or something and I don't want to burden them...
I still have some injuries which take so much effort to care for, because burns take forever to heal, but maybe that is also what keeps me from relapsing.
I didn't really try to stop self harming, but I guess holidays help and being surrounded by people more, even though that can also be exhausting.
Regardless, two weeks, or actually 17 days, is probably the longest time I haven't hurt myself in, since over half a year. Maybe I can actually stop, or at least not do it for a very very long time.
I drew this some days ago and I mainly want to share it because I don't have anyone I can really show this to irl and I am kind of proud of the drawing.
Also I am not really suicidal, I mean I am passively suicidal maybe, but sometimes I feel like I really should just kill myself and have really vivid imaginations of how I would do it.
And I don't mean to like portray suicide as a good solution or something, but I tried to sort of draw how my mind sometimes tries to convince me it would be a good solution.