13 years down the drain
I’ve known my bf since I was 13. Since then, we’ve been together for a little over a decade. A few days back when logging into one of my old social media accounts, I had noticed he was following a lot of women and reposting a lot of NSFW content.
I brought it up to him and how it made me uncomfortable and that it made me see him differently, and he got upset about it (which I didn’t find out about until later). He told me it didn’t matter, that we’ve been together for so long that it clearly wasn’t a big enough deal for it to matter, and then he told me after how “big” the girl’s breasts were. Then, he ended it off by saying “it’s just how it is”.
After our conversation, he blocked me on that account, and out of anger, started to follow more women. I told him how his reaction to the whole thing hurt me, and he reacted so coldly (in a way I haven’t seen before). He justified it by saying I made him feel shitty in our previous conversation for even bringing it up.
Towards the end of our conversation, he started to say that he cared about me and then proceeded to apologize for making me doubt his love and care for me after I started to cry. At that point I was not only sad, but over it, so I just told him to save the explanation and forget I had even reached out to him. I quietly removed him on everything and just deleted our conversation. Since then he’s been looking at my Instagram stories and just watching over me without saying a word.
We haven’t talked in almost a week now and I just feel so sad and angry. I’m not a prude, I know people watch porn, it just bothered me that he followed all these women so openly and his reaction to the whole thing rubbed me the wrong way. I thought we were at a point where we could talk about these things with each other, but I was so wrong. I miss him like hell, but part of me also feels stupid for even missing him when he obviously couldn’t care less. It just feels like a lot of wasted time. I know I’m still young and the end of one relationship isn’t the end of the world, but god, it sucks so much.