Bullying gave me a real fear of cameras and photos
Hi everyone, sorry if my English is not perfect, it’s not my first language.
For years I was bullied by my own friends, and this gave me a real fear of being in photos and a very severe body dysmorphia about my face.Everything started one night when people were making fun of me. I got angry, and one of my friends took a picture of me while I was reacting. The picture looked ridiculous, and everyone found it hilarious except me. Then I made the worst mistake possibile I got even more angry, and they kept taking pictures of me.Those photos became memes in my school. People used them in group chats all the time, and eventually it turned into something normal for them. They started secretly taking pictures of me almost every day.Sometimes when I heard a notification on my phone, I got scared because I thought it could be another meme with my face on it.I tried to tell them to stop, but they didn’t care. Some people even told me I was overreacting and that if my face was “funny” or “ugly,” it wasn’t their fault.The worst part was not even the bad pictures themselves. It was the fact that people laughed at normal photos too. It made me feel like my face itself was the joke.I became paranoid. I started hiding my face, deleting all my pictures from social media, and sometimes I wouldn’t even leave the house because I was scared someone would secretly photograph me again.The only way I managed to make them stop was by breaking down crying during a public event because I was completely exhausted mentally. Only then did they realize how much this was hurting me.It has been a year since they stopped, but I still can’t take pictures, even with my family. Every time I see a phone pointed in my direction, I feel real fear, like I’m in danger.I want to change and heal from this, but it’s very hard.Has anyone else experienced something similar after bullying?