r/BodyDysmorphia

My husband(37) had cancer(He's alright now). And before we caught it. It messed up his hormones and made him kind of wierd to deal with. Never aggressive or anything like that. I would like to describe it kind of narcissistic if that makes sense. It was awful and I started to gain weight. I don't know how to start describing what went down. So I'll just make a list thats somewhat chronological with everything BDD related to avoid rambling. I'd also note that this isn't a behaviour he has anymore.

•He laughed at the shape of my nostrils.

•I had purple hair back then. He would ask me to color it red or black. (I finally caved and dyed it black)

•He got addicted to porn. He would sit and game and listen to erotic ASMR until I went to bed then stay up until early morning.

•Made a comment that his ex also used a lot of butter but she managed to stay skinny.

•Took candid pictures of me to make slideshows to show me and laugh at them.

•Called me a hippo "but as a joke".

•Made remarks that its disgusting of me to be naked.

•Would push me away with a "Ew!" If I tried to give him a hug.

•Make small "cutesy" remarks about my appearance when we were with company.

•Confessed feelings for two of my coworkers after I caught him pleasuring himself in the bathroom. But took it back later that evening.

There's probably more. But I don't think I need to list more stuff.

But time went on. The doctors found the cancer. He got well. And slowly I got my normal husband back. I joined a gym. Lost most of the weight. Found a new haircolor. But something changed. First I just saw signs of tiredness in my face and starting to use more makeup. And then we moved and I put up a whole body mirror. And it was like seeing a unshapely blob. I saw the candid slideshow me. And I took the mirror down again.

At first he didn't want to talk about all this because he felt really guilty and I think I went too long with my own thoughts if that makes sense? Nowadays he has recognised that he should start repairing the damage so to speak. To help me get some confidence back.-But over the years, my brain has rationalized everything that has been and made everything completely logical: Of course he jerks off to my coworkers. Im hideous!-

And things started to warp-I think. Maybe I always looked like this but never realised before? But my neck is wider and my eyes are beady. And if I happen to see a whole body profile.. Day ruined.

So if this has been ongoing for years why am I reaching out to strangers now?

My major thing has been my body. Sometimes when its really bad I imagine that I could slice open like a hatch and slice off as much fat I can manage and flush it before I call 911. Next thought is when I realise that It would make things worse. But then I think that then atleast I would be making something about it. Back and forth it goes. Like a seesaw.

So. A couple of days ago I went to the hairdressers. A good one. I made a booking months ago. She did a fantastic job.

But now. I don't know how to describe it. I was used to my old reflexion. Now im new-ugly if that makes sense? And with that a new intrusive thought. I want to slice my face. Like rub a razor back and forth? And this one doesn't make as much sense as the other one. Even if an improvement of my situationen practically is an illusion with slicing off fat. This thought is just destructive.

BDD or not. What can I do to manage until I get professional help If needed? Tips and tricks? Is there dos and donts? The thing that helps right now is to rub my face really hard. And draw what i want to do on my reflection instead.

It’s an obsessive thought like even subconsciously I am always thinking about my appearance. I go out anywhere and my mind goes to how do I look and do people think I’m ugly? I wonder if people without body dysmorphia don’t think about it constantly like I do it’s the number one thing I think about when doing anything. It’s exhausting

Hi! My first post. Dont know if this topic is ok, but I need to talk. Recently my bdd hade been extreme. Im turning 40 this year and my skin is sagging and other stuff and my self esteem is at the bottom. I hate to not be able to feel stuff like love and so on because of my appearence. I tried but just got used/unwanted. I feel an urge to fix some flaws and make me look younger, like microneedling, fix my teeth, botox, lpg and so on. I know these procedures would make me feel better about myself. There not extreme.

But I dont have the money. Im thinking of getting a sugar daddy/sell sex. Done onlyfans in the past. No one else wants me so why not. Thoughts?

I've started to realize that I've been having quite a few "fantasies" of being mutilated: losing limb, tearing off my skin, being burned, the like.

Just last night, I found myself stuck thinking about what would happen if a stray firework broke through the mesh and exploded right next to my face; I imagined how I would look afterwards, how my body would change, how I would heal. Would I continue living after such an injury? Would I feel better after being blown up? I stared out, finding myself almost wishing for one of the rockets to just fly straight towards me.

Before this, I had seen a video of a woman with a prosthetic leg; she was a model, or at the very least modeled for the video. I envied her, I wanted to lose a leg or arm and replace it. I still feel this draw, the feeling to lop an arm off or how (if such a situation arose) I would happily saw my leg off to escape danger.

I've, of course, self-harmed. My left arm is my favorite spot, it is covered in burns and cuts. The mutilation doesn't really hurt, it's comforting sometimes; I haven't done it in a while however. I find myself more cautious while cutting, burning seems to be much easier for me.

I think we all know the concept of cyberpunk and transhumanism. I feel so drawn to it, so drawn to the idea of ripping my body apart and rebuilding it. Especially recently I've been feeling a longing to do so, to replace my skin with metal plates, to rebuild my own legs, to create new arms.

The thought of me suffering, in pain, bleeding, its always been an oddly enticing fantasy. I can't get it out of my head, I want to suffer.

Before someone does all that "therapist, now" crap, I have one, I speak to her, I just need to work up to discussing this. I find more comfort writing out my inner thoughts on here anyway, and I like to hear what others think. Does anyone else feel similarly? What are some things one does to cope/satisfy these urges?

I was literally just looking on Pinterest for a cute phone wallpaper. Then I thought “I’m ugly and gross so this is embarrassing” and closed the app

My BDD had been fairly manageable over the past few weeks. There were moments when the compulsions crept in, but I was somehow able to keep them under control. Now that I've started feeling infatuated with someone, it all seems to be resurfacing. My mind keeps spiraling into every possible thing that could go wrong. It really makes me wonder if I'm simply not meant to date anyone, if this is how it's going to feel every single time. How do people allow themselves to love someone when they don't even know how to love themselves first?

Does anyone else constantly see comments online about how white people (mostly just white women because misogyny) age just soooo terribly? It’s just so mean.

Honestly these comments have made me want to end my life at 29. I know I have white privilege in many many other ways, but with body dysmorphia that has gotten exponentially worse since noticing aging start, I really would rather not be white. I don’t want to look in the mirror and see my face aging. I don’t want to feel like POC in my age group are all laughing at me, whether to my face or in their head or behind my back.

How do you deal if this applies to you?

Please don’t come in the comments and say that I should suck it up because I’m white/privileged. This is the body dysmorphia sub. These comments have very much affected me.

Hello. I was diagnosed with BDD about seven years ago, and I’m now 25. For years I’ve convinced myself that I don’t actually have BDD—that I’m just objectively ugly.
Since then, I’ve had a nose job, chin and lip filler, a breast augmentation, lash extensions, hair extensions, a fake tan every week, and I work out regularly. Despite all of that, I still don’t feel good about myself.
Years ago, before I had any cosmetic work done, I posted on the TrueRateMe subreddit. I was rated below average on their scale, but not ugly. After having surgery and other treatments, I posted again and was generally rated above average. Overall, I’d say I tend to be rated somewhere in the top 20–30% facially.
The problem is that I’m trapped in a vicious cycle. My self-esteem depends almost entirely on external validation. If I haven’t received compliments in a while or haven’t been out socially, I’ll end up posting on Reddit again—on subreddits like TrueRateMe or looksmaxxing communities—asking for surgery advice or reassurance. I’ll keep asking different people until I eventually get one negative comment, and then that single comment completely overrides all the positive ones. I spiral, seek even more reassurance, and the cycle starts all over again.
It’s reached the point where every time I take a new selfie, I feel like I need Reddit’s approval before I can even post it anywhere else.
The worst part is that even when I do get reassurance, it never lasts. If people tell me I’m attractive or above average, I might feel better for a few hours or a day, but then my brain immediately moves the goalposts. Instead of feeling satisfied, I start thinking, “Okay, but now I need to look even better.” It becomes, “I just need to improve this one thing,” and then another thing, and another. It feels like there is no finish line, only the constant pressure to keep looking better and better.
Recently, almost everyone told me I was above average, except for one person who said my nose, forehead, and facial symmetry made me below average. My nose isn’t perfect, and I’ve considered a revision rhinoplasty, but whenever I’ve posted in revision rhinoplasty forums, people have advised me not to do it.
People on the cosmetic surgery subreddits also recognise me now because I post so often. Most of them tell me I have body dysmorphic disorder, but I can’t stop thinking, “What if I don’t? What if the one person criticising me is right and everyone else is just being kind?”
Since reading that comment, I’ve completely spiralled. I’ve been asking for more surgery advice and have convinced myself that I need a lip lift, a genioplasty revision, a revision rhinoplasty, and fat transfer. It feels overwhelming, and I’ve reached the point where I genuinely feel like I can’t move on with my life until I’ve had all of those procedures.
I also have this constant fear that nobody will truly love me unless I become prettier. I convince myself that if someone chose me now, they’d only be settling, and that they’d really prefer someone more attractive. It makes me feel like I have to keep improving my appearance just to be worthy of love or to stop someone from leaving me for someone better-looking. I know how irrational that sounds when I write it out, but it feels completely real to me.
I’ve deactivated my Instagram, cancelled my social plans, and I feel deeply depressed. I tried explaining how I felt to my mum, but she basically said it was silly and that it was my own fault for posting online. I know this probably sounds irrational, but I feel completely hopeless right now and like giving up on everything.
My question is: how do I start feeling better? Because right now I feel completely stuck and unsupported!

My toxic mindset is that I feel that I'm too ugly for people to interact with; to the degree that people must also think so and therefore I've never been sexually harassed.

I've read/heard so much about people being sexually harassed in public. And it has never happened to me.

Kind of like "oh that woman is too ugly so I'll choose that pretty one over there instead".

I'm not saying I'm jealous of folks who have been sexually harassed. And not diminishing their experiences. I'm only talking about my own case that ”I must be too ugly for someone to want to harass me at all.“

I know I should be grateful and all that but I can't help but feel this way and I need someone else's eyes on this view...

Hello, I'm a 21yo woman living with three other women my age. We all get along super well, and I really do love them. I've struggled with body dysmorphia pretty much since I hit puberty. I struggled with it when I was super thin in highschool, and I struggle with it now as a midsized adult.

At a recent doctor's appointment I found out I weigh much more than I thought, actually the heaviest I've ever weighed in my life. And I've been spiraling heavily since.

I was venting to my best friend about this (one of my roommates) and mentioned how much harder it is to like my body when I live with "the skinniest people in the world". An exaggeration of course, but it certainly feels like that when I'm the biggest person in our apartment. My best friend told me today how much that comment hurt her, and that she doesn't want to be the source of my body image issues or the target of my jealousy. And I feel awful, I know it's so unfair to project my issues not just onto her, but the other girls I live with. Especially since I care so much about them. But I don't know what to do, because I am so incredibly envious of them. It makes it so hard to not spiral into my dysmorphia when they're the main three peers I see every single day, and they're so thin and gorgeous, and none of them even work out.

I know this is definitely a sign that it's time to go back to therapy, but until then does anyone have some advice on how to cope with this? I hate it whenever my issues affect others, and the sooner I can overcome this aspect of my body image issues I think the better my healing journey would be overall.

I tend to have so much envy for girls that I think have a better body than me. I think my body is made wrong like my hips, legs and butt don't match my torso and not even in a good way (torso smaller than hips and butt) I am an inverted triangle. :( I see for example curvy girls that look good= envy I see skinny girls that look good on everything=envy... I even have this with my friends (which I so ashamed of). I don't know how to deal with it because when I get this envy, that is really often, I feel ugly outside and inside...

I noticed that I do this a lot and I wanted to know if anyone else did too. Even when I know an insult isn’t about me I still interpret it as such. A few days ago I was talking about something with my friend and her response was like “He’s probably just ugly.” and I think I just automatically associate myself with ugliness because as soon as she said it I felt as though she’d called me ugly when I knew she hadn’t.

I think it almost sounds self centred and I don’t mean to be, I think it’s just burned into my psyche that I’m the embodiment of ugliness so whenever I hear the word I immediately associate it with myself

I feel defeated. It's so complicated, I damage it further every day by washing it, and washing it badly at that, and brushing it. And on top of that it doesn't even look good at all anyway.

I feel like I sadly need to just embrace a more "masculine" look, even though I don't want to, and get a lower maintenance haircut that would be easier to manage, and wouldn't be harmed too much by being washed daily.

Because it just looks and feels so awful. It makes everything so complicated.

It's a vicious circle.

Hey Guys and Gurls,

Soo my problem is kinda weird but... I lost so much weight people in my family are telling I look like someone who got cancer.

I dont see it.

I am now 88,3kg / 194,7 lbs at height of 180cm / 5'11. I was 144kg / 317,5 lbs. Lost that weight in 12 months.

Technically I am still overweight.

Not i am gonna stop to lose weight till I reach my dream weight. But it bothers me that my family think now negatively or rather are worried about me.

Someone had a similar experience if yes how did you handle that? My idea just to ignore the voices and push through.

Otherwise I feel disgusted with myself, am I the only one like this? I feel like maybe it’s a deep insecurity but I just think if I don’t like looking fat that the guy feels the same way. Last time I slept with a guy he body shamed me. I wasn’t fat but I wasn't super toned at the time. I had a flat stomach but no abs, my arms were small but not muscular, same for my legs and back.

I often get inspired by other women. I’ll see someone who looks amazing, notice what she’s wearing, and buy the exact same outfit, thinking, “This is finally going to be the one.”
But then reality hits. I wear it once, look in the mirror, and it just doesn’t feel right on me. I end up thinking it doesn’t suit me at all.
It’s like this with almost everything I buy. I’ve spent a ridiculous amount of money on clothes that now just sit in my closet because I never wear them.
BD just sucks.

Especially if it’s around plastic surgery aftermath

Everything costs 200usd that’s nearly half my rent lol

It feels like money really does solve everything and if you don’t have it tough

Any budget friendly BDD therapies?

I’ve struggled with body dysmorphia most of my life and I’ve noticed that more and more men are experiencing this in 2026. What are good (free!) resources to use, I feel like there’s not enough help for men who specifically struggle with certain body elements (specifically facial). If I feel at a loss, I’m sure a lot of other people do to.

It’s very clear that high femininity is associated with beauty so I know that my masculine features like my thin lips and big nose make me look like a man. I feel so ugly and masculine. And no amount of compliments will convince me I’m a feminine and pretty girl, I look masculine and I’ve had others point it out to me too so it’s not in my head. And for every compliment I get, I have someone else telling me I’m mid or ugly. Unless I’m beautiful to 90% of people I will never be happy. I think I should just suck it up and settle on plastic surgery. How can I even get rid of such a deeply ingrained belief? I see lack of beauty and femininity as a failure of me to be a woman. I’m deficient.