r/BodyDysmorphia

Just a question

I fixate on my face using a magnifying mirror to look for fine lines. I try to remove them through self facial peeling, which leaves it constantly bruised and disrupts my daily routine

But I’m not only talking about not liking urself in pictures or anything, kinda niche symptoms

I (19F) have struggled with body dysmorphia since I was 13. At first it was in the more usual sense of feeling "ugly", etc., but recently it has developed into an inability to perceive my own face. It is very difficult to put this into words, and I was wondering if anyone else experiences this. The best way I could describe it is that I don't know what my own face looks like. I cannot imagine my face, I can only recall how it looks on certain pictures. And I also have this thing where I believe I look like a different person on every picture. Like, to the point where I believe if I didn't know that the picture was of me, I wouldn't know that the person on it is me. This kinds connects to this other aspect which is thinking that I'm a "catfish" even though I don't wear heavy makeup and don't use filters: this makes me think that if I showed someone two different pictures of myself, they wouldn't be able to tell it's the same person. I don't have any other mental illnesses, and I don't actually believe I look like many different people. The way I see it is that maybe after years of hating myself, my brain stopped perceiving me as a sort of self defense. Also, I don't think anymore that I'm ugly. From outside experiences, and from looking in the mirror I can tell that I'm attractive. I don't know if this makes any sense or if anyone else experiences this. It's such an odd feeling, and I was wondering if anyone has dealt with something similar. Thanks for reading!

I have felt hideous and strange for as long as I can remember really. I can remember doing body-checks in the mirror as a child, and always feeling too fat. Growing up in a poor household where showers/baths were off-limits, and having a mother who constantly shamed me for being "disgusting", just exasperated these feelings further.

I was incredibly shy as a child, and so I spent a lot of time alone. Naturally, I began to wonder what was wrong with me, and my appearance became something that I was obsessed over. I thought that if I was pretty enough then it would mask or make up for whatever made me inherently unlikable and unlovable. I spent a lot of time on makeup and hair, but I always felt even uglier. It just felt like I was desperately trying to be pretty when I am anything but that. It honestly felt humiliating most days because I was sure that people were judging an ugly girl for believing that she could participate in feminity too. I feel too disgusting to be even considered a woman, and my lack of female friendships just solidifies that in my mind. When I look in the mirror, all I ever see are flaws, and this ugly disfigured face. I don't even feel human, and sometimes my reflection genuinely scares me. It even feels foreign when people say my name or acknowledge my presence because I forget that I actually exist to others.

I feel too tall for a woman and like an eyesore as I enter a room. I feel that my body is so broad and fat despite maintaining a healthy weight. I tried to be underweight, but I still looked fat, and it didn't fix my face anyway. I am breaking out with hormonal acne lately, and I just feel even worse and more hopeless. I just feel like my nose is crooked, my lips are too thin, and overall my face is not symmetrical, feminine, or appealing enough. I download and delete dating apps periodically, but no amount of validation ever makes me feel okay with myself. I tried hookups for validation, but I just felt that they were desperate or bored enough to settle for the ugly girl, and would pretend that it never happened afterwards. I am probably just a joke to them, and this makes me feel even worse. I would even ask them to degrade or hurt me because I believed that I should be humiliated and punished for wanting something that is reserved for real women with value. I tried to explain this to a counsellor, but there was genuinely an awkward silence because even they were taken aback and couldn't understand it. I feel so ashamed of myself.

I am terrified of a serious relationship because I feel like the more that someone sees and knows me, the more that their disgust and disdain will grow and show towards me. My ex treated me like shit, but I feel that I probably deserved most of it. Sometimes I think about contacting him again, since it's not like anybody will ever truly love me anyways. At least he somewhat tolerated me, and that was probably more than I ever deserved. It's difficult to enjoy life when you are lonely, and feel like your presence is insulting enough. Honestly, I am convinced that there is no reason to live if you are not conventional or pretty as a woman. I can try to make up for my looks with my personality, but I was always considered a bit odd or eccentric, and personality doesn't matter when your a woman anyways. When a young woman passes, the comments will always be about how pretty she was. I just feel invisible and like I am nothing. Maybe I could make peace with being alone if I had a good group of friends, but I don't even have that much. I am tired of staring in the mirror, scrutinising, the body-checks, restricting food, cancelling events because I felt too hideous, and all of it really. I can't even relax around people, laugh, eat, etc. Everything feels like it will expose my ugliness to the world.

Sorry if this is a bit dark, but I am genuinely struggling to find a reason to live like this. How do you guys do it?

Crying myself to sleep again lmao i can’t even watch anything anymore or go to the cinema in peace

And just in case:
p.s. sorry for bad english

unsure if this is the right sub to post in but i wonder is anyone else like me ? how do i stop this? i’m too embarrassed to tell anyone about it.

i use these curved plastic nose lifters i bought online and they’re supposed to be worn for a short time but i wear them every time i go out, even for 8 hours at uni.. it’s been 3 years since i started. i cannot even let my family see me without them (other than my parents and brother) or even when i simply need to take a delivery from the delivery guy. i also wore them when i went swimming..

during the first year i made my own nose lifters using q tips where they used to be sharp and dug inside my nose making me bleed and i’d still wear them, the entire day.

i wanna get a nose job in the future i don’t wanna permanently damage my nose tissue or risk necrosis but i can’t stop

I’m 19 and at the moment my life is basically just work and going home. I’ve been going out very little, and even when I do make plans, I often back out at the last minute.
I’ll suddenly convince myself that I’m too ugly or that I don’t look good enough to go out. I’ll find some excuse not to go, stay home, and then feel depressed and disappointed in myself afterwards.
I know logically that other people probably aren’t paying anywhere near as much attention to my appearance as I think they are, but I genuinely struggle to believe that when I’m in that mindset.
I hate feeling like I’m wasting my late teens/early twenties because I’m too insecure to actually go out and live my life. I don’t want my world to become just work, home, and being alone because I don’t feel attractive enough to be seen.
Has anyone else experienced this? Especially women who used to avoid socialising because they felt ugly or insecure about their appearance — did anything actually help you break out of it?

I dont know anything about how this can possibly work, I hope it isnt cruel to ask

It’s kind of an addiction now. Whenever I come across a picture of a pretty woman especially on a rate sub I become super self-conscious and I post myself basically asking for low ratings. Like I want confirmation that I am ugly so I can put it to rest, but it doesn’t actually work and I can’t accept it. It doesn’t help that I get DMs telling me I’m pretty and a few comments also saying that but most comments tell me I am below average. I didn’t want to have doubt left but I still have doubt though I am becoming increasingly convinced that I’m objectively unattractive. Why can’t I just accept that I am not pretty and will never be treated like a pretty girl?

I hate my body, hate it. My hips are to slim, my shoulders are too broad, my breasts aren't even big. (Because when women have big breasts, men look at those and not the hips.) Every time I go to bed I try on all my jeans... They look like they're gonna fall off. People say I have good shoulders, that woman want broad shoulders. But I know they actually pity me. What they mean is

​Women want broad shoulders, in moderation.

I look at actresses and try to convince myself they have my body shape, but it's no use. All hourglass figures, all hot. Nothing changes. It's like they all have clones of the same body. Sure, some don't. Yeah. But compared to the hotness around them they're left out, and the worst thing is, everybody thinks they aren't as attractive too. So, when I compare myself to them, it gets worse.

Don't tell me it's because "They're using camera angles to alter their proportions." Or "Oh well, they have a lot of makeup on." Because that's not true. Sure, it assists, but in the end they're just built like that. I am not. Does anyone else feel the same?

I cant f*ing stand the fact that every single one of us is stuck with a face. We just got randomly assigned this face none of us chose. Whether average, below average, above average.

for the one life we get. Ugly, average, asymmetries, lopsided faces, bug eyes, big noses, bad skin, recessed faces, perfect faces, long faces, philtrums, smile lines, whatever shts so insane, unfair and disgusting I hate how ts life works every time I even look at other people I just get reminded of this yet its somehow completely normal and natural to people.

"You have your grandfathers nose" "You have your mothers eyes" that shts disgusting unless its objectively attractive!!! Ain't anything beautiful about this genetic recombination mess. Utter lottery on what you're going to look like.

Weird how some animals look very good on average like the whole great cat family. They literally have to be deformed to look below average. With humans the range of looks is so insanely absurd and merciless, some people look completely different species.

I wish there was a magic surgery, a magic pill, anything which drastically improves or changes your looks. But there isn't. Not even doing multiple surgeries usually changes the overall harmony of the face, unless they have a one simple flaw like a big nose, big ears, recessed chin. Its all just playing around this genetic foundation and I hate it so much. Being in this body and face which has ZERO reflection on what I actually am.

I've done everything I can, ideal bodyfat%, skincare + accutane, perfect diet with all micronutrients, exercise regularly, eyebrow pencil, oral minoxidil, eyelash curler, facial lymphatic drainage massages, antioxidants, ideal sleep, hairdye, potassium/sodium ratio, clean shaves, ideal medium length haircut.

But its just not enough, because of my genetic base. I try to edit my face with AI to look if rhinoplasty or something like that changes anything drastically, but no, the harmony just remains the same because of my genetic makeup. I'm so frustrated and tired of all of this. All this "improvement" just to be far worse off than a lucky genetics person who eats slop and does bare minimum for their looks. It has ruined and consumed my life since the age of 12.

How is anyone supposed to get over this? Can't just go to meme therapy and just cope with "self-acceptance" lmao.

I have been with the same man for 15 years, married 13. He's never seen me naked in daylight. Sex is never before dark and the only light is a night light. We do have sex once or twice a week. How he has continued on with me and never even made an issue out of it is beyond me. I won't even walk around in a tshirt and panties around him. Hate my arms, legs, belly, butt, all of it....

I left an 18-year relationship that was similar, but not quite as bad. He had seen me in light, but not often. After a big weight gain and subsequent weight loss with loose skin, it got much worse. He complained about my insecurities.

I am overweight now, but even when I loose weight and am close to my healthy weight, I look terrible. Lipedema fat, sagging everything, loose skin. The thoughts of him seeing me literally makes me feel sick. I have a huge fear of medical issues that would require him to care for me intimately.

I wonder if there is anyone else like this in the whole world? Not the appearance, the shame to such an incredible extent.

Like you randomly look at mirror and just feel so hideous, like ur genuinely so ugly? Is it just me

Hi! I feel so ashamed for even experiencing this, but does anyone else sometimes become extremely envious of a specific person's physical appearance, to the point of being a bit obsessive? As a kid I'd often have a classmate that I'd envy to the point of extreme self-hatred and resentment - I'd analyze their features during class and literally fantasize about looking like them instead of me. If somebody else complimented their beauty I'd feel absolutely crushed, like somehow other people recognizing their beauty just confirmed what I'd hoped was untrue all along. Ofc I'd never express my envy (at least not intentionally) - even as a kid I knew that my emotions were very unreasonable and unflattering.

These days I've pretty much always got a specific target of my jealousy, especially now that I'm on social media. There's this one girl (who I've literally had to block) on Tiktok who is so incredibly beautiful and loved that it KILLS me whenever she shows up on my fyp. I'm not even sure why I'm especially jealous of her - she's beautiful, but there are seemingly infinite amounts of gorgeous women on Tiktok lmao - but I think it's got something to do with the fact that her lifestyle/personality isn't that different to my own, and that the only differences in our lives really lie in the ways that her physical appearance has granted her opportunities that mine has not. I think about her so often it's almost like a crush, except instead of feeling affection towards her I just feel pure anger at the world (and at myself) for making her so much prettier than me. I feel so horribly for hating her so much, but my hatred of her is entirely rooted in my hatred of myself. I hope that blocking her will lead to me forgetting about her entirely, but I know that I'll just find another girl to obsessively compare myself to.

I went to party a couple of nights ago, and yesterday all of the photo’s were being sent out to each other, and now I feel like I don’t know myself.

This happens every time, but this time I truly feel like an imposter. I THINK I know what I look like until I see photos of myself from different people, now I’m genuinely upset with all of the different angles and lighting. I also feel like I can no longer post my “good pictures” without feeling like I’m catfishing on social media, because every picture taken from someone other than me looks so wildly different…

I think I also make up such a particular version of myself in my head, and then am grounded back to reality after moments like this.

Okay so there’s a few types of analyzing I’m talking about

1st. Analyzing people’s expressions, if they are friendly or being rude and trying to correlate them with ur looks

2nd analyzing other peoples faces, especially people with features u hate on urself

3rd analyzing past experiences; such as getting called ugly or unfriendly behavior towards you, also counting how many times u got called ugly

For the past several months I've had phases usually lasting a few days where I'm very insecure about the size of my penis (6" x 4.6") it doesn't help that I'm a bit overweight, which makes it look even smaller

This insecurity really started around march, with a couple posts from pretty popular women-centric subreddits, all of them talking about how much better big dicks are

I know statistically the isn't a common preference, and I know I'm probably just getting in my own head about it, but I cannot bring myself to believe the stats, or women saying average is okay because those comments keep popping into my head

I'm a virgin, so I don't have any first-hand experience on how a girl might react, but I'm horrified that I'll be laughed out of the bedroom

Any advice on how to help with this?

14NB born with a vj and i am 4’11

i hate my height and i hate being this short i have to look upto see most of my friends and i feel like a child

i mean i AM a child obvs but instead of feeling like my age i feel like im 10

friends like to joke that my height makes me more easy to kidnap and that raises my paranoia about going out in public

and whenever someone pokes fun at my height playfully i try to go along with it but honestly it makes me feel more insecure and then i feel BAD for feeling insecure about something like that

i know im not going to suddenly become above 5’2 anytime soon and no way am i going to be able to afford surgery or even have the dedication to do the stuff you need to do after height surgery

so, how do i feel better about my height so these bad feelings stop?