u/Lonely_Banana_Wana

It’s very clear that high femininity is associated with beauty so I know that my masculine features like my thin lips and big nose make me look like a man. I feel so ugly and masculine. And no amount of compliments will convince me I’m a feminine and pretty girl, I look masculine and I’ve had others point it out to me too so it’s not in my head. And for every compliment I get, I have someone else telling me I’m mid or ugly. Unless I’m beautiful to 90% of people I will never be happy. I think I should just suck it up and settle on plastic surgery. How can I even get rid of such a deeply ingrained belief? I see lack of beauty and femininity as a failure of me to be a woman. I’m deficient.

So I‘m 20F and as a teenager I used to be attracted to men based on looks alone, without knowing them at all, but even then it was rarely fully sexual. Now I did a complete 180. No matter how handsome a guy is I can’t be attracted to him unless there is some chemistry between us. Like I’m not saying I don’t have physical standards at all, but I need both looks and personality to be attracted, like all or nothing. I’m not sure if this means I‘m demi, but I know I can’t relate to other women feeling attracted to good-looking men just based on that. I can appreciate a handsome man but it doesn’t go beyond that unless we have some sort of relationship. And I’ll be honest I used to think demisexuality was just made up but now that I‘m experiencing it myself, I understand it better. I apologize for being so ignorant and self-centered.

I get caught up doomscrolling (on twitter in particular) and finding a new thing to be upset about, or I see something that reminds me of the old things I used to get upset about and now I’m upset over it again. It causes me to ruminate and spend the whole day wasting my time on it. And it’s not even anything worth getting upset over, and I know logically it doesn’t matter but I feel like misery is pulling me like a magnet. I might be addicted to negativity but I don’t know how to stop it. Deleting or logging off doesn’t work cuz I can still always go back. I have way more important and serious things to do yet I still go back to social media, what do I do?

I’m not very dark, but I’m not white either. However I’m still bothered by the concept of the women in Jannah being pale, and Muslim men find this desirable. What if I like my skin color as it is? Why would I want to be whitewashed in Jannah?? So I‘m undesirable because my skin is brown, great. Imagine being a brown/black Muslim woman married to a man who is yearning for the pasty white women of Jannah. I‘d kms.

Is dark skin seen as dirty and undesirable in Islam?

I felt ugly and unlovable for the longest time and only lately have I been getting confirmation that I’m attractive to a decent amount of men. Even though I feel more confident in my appearance now I don’t feel any better. I thought that was all I needed to feel valued but no I still feel the same. Knowing that I’m only liked because I pass a threshold for attractiveness is disheartening. Men are just too shallow and it’s not worth it anymore. I thought I envied beautiful women but I realized that what I really envy is the fact that men can be loved no matter how they look while women can‘t.

I talked to many men (outside of a dating context) and all of them admit to caring a lot about looks more than anything else. As much as I desire *true* love and companionship I don’t think I will ever find it with a man. I just need to learn to live with the fact that men are shallow and learn to be comfortable with being single.

I tried tvp once and I flavored it with spices to make vegan taco meat, but no matter how many spices I use I still notice a flavor that is reminiscent of psyllium husks that throws it off for me. Before anyone suggests using more fat, I don’t want to use too much fat because I want good macros. Any tips on canceling out that weird taste?

My genitals are apparently abnormally sensitive. When I shave down there and hit my clitoral hood I feel sharp pain. I tried to be intimate with a guy once and he accidentally touched the inner flesh of my genitals and it caused me pain as well. A while ago I went to the gynecologist and she spread my flaps a little to do a culture test which was very painful and made me sick, and my mom noticed I turned yellow. The doctor said that was not normal but I don't know how to fix it. Is there something wrong with me?

I'm (20F) in college and aspiring for a successful career, but I am doing anything but working towards that career. I keep getting caught up thinking that I'm ugly and worthless and unlovable so there's no point in chasing my dream anyway. What is the point in working to be better if I will end up lonely working a soulless corporate job anyway? I'm overweight and I don't have motivation to lose the weight either. Everything feels pointless.

Not going into personal details about why, I just want to know if there are safe ways to almost eliminate my desire for sex temporarily for however long I want.

I (20F) am a virgin and I had a relationship with a guy (also a virgin) online for almost two years until we met in person and we only had 6 hours together for logistical reasons that I can’t explain here.

Anyway we were close to having sex but he couldn’t stay hard and didn’t know how to stimulate me properly. It was our only chance for a long time to have sex but it didn’t work out. And because his budget is very tight he won’t be able to visit me for another long time. We’re talking at least 6 months.

I really like this guy and I see potential with him and I want to give it another chance but at the same time I don’t want to wait so long, my sexual frustration only gets worse.

I have many other reasons for why I can’t date normally and my strict religious parents are most of those reasons. I guess my only option is to just wait it out until I can become independent, but it’s really painful. Masturbation doesn’t even satisfy me anymore. What do I do?

I have many different goals: get in shape, become healthier, improve my academic standing, gain experience in the field I’m studying for, etc. However my issue is that I get stuck thinking that even if I do improve in these areas it won’t pay off in the end and nothing I do will make up for what I lack. For example I feel like even if I lose weight I will still be ugly anyway, or no matter how much experience I get I will never get hired for a job that pays above minimum wage. How do I get out of this mindset?

Beauty undeniably comes with many benefits, but I don't think dating a scrote is one of them. We know moids are extremely shallow with very little concern for anything else and unashamedly so. I mean would you be content with a man knowing he only likes you because of your looks and nothing else? I see posts on this site of men whining that the women they only married for looks turned out to be bad people lmao. This amount of shallowness inevitably comes with poor character so why would we want to be involved with them?

I think beautiful women are only happy in their relationships because they're blind to the reality that their partners only see them for their looks. Once beauty is taken from them they become disillusioned. After that there really is no going back. Men will be shit regardless so dating them isn't worth it whether you're beautiful or not. The other benefits would be great though and definitely worth it. Ignorance is bliss I guess. If I was beautiful and had this awareness I would definitely stay single and still reap the benefits of being beautiful.

What do you guys think? Am I cooking or totally off the mark?