I am a 15 year old boy who feel insecure of my own body and I hate how I look and how fat I am and I wanna change as a person I wanna change how I look how I act how am all i do is bedrott and be lazy and I always fine excuses to not do it and I always feel like I need validation from some one to fit in and every time I talk to god I only talk to him when i need something pls help me
Ok Reddit I need help. I am turning 21 in 2 days. But for a back story I’m going to introduce a character we will call her Piper. Well Piper and I were best friends for almost 2 years or so; but after a few things she has pulled I started to back away from her. Rewind to about a few months ago I was still living with my parents and Piper and I decided to go to a abandoned building( horrible idea on my part) well she knows my anxiety with meeting new people that I would at least like a little bit of a notice before meeting someone. Well she said it would be just us and her bf. Ok that’s fine. Well we started to leave and we stop and this random house and this person I do not know- I start to panic. She gets in the car and I say hi. We start driving to the place and I try to pitch into conversations and well I’m completely ignored. Ok. Then we get on the freeway and when I say her bf was driving so recklessly I mean it. We almost got into multiple car crashes . A drive that was meant to take 30 only took 15. Well I kept asking her to tell him to slow down because I was panicking even more and I was in a full blown panic attack. She completely ignored me. After 10 times of asking her I stopped and just delt with it. Now we get to the place and it’s in downtown Denver well I stupidly walked off to the sidewalk to catch my breath and calm down. I know I made a mistake doing that but in that moment I thought it was ok. Then fast forward a few minutes later I was in the back of the group the whole time and my ADHD self got caught by everything especially because I love the paranormal. Bit that caused me to get lost and left behind- completely my fault. I called Piper and asked her where to go and she just basically said idk figure it out. Well I tried to figure it out and became more lost. I heard people in the place and started to freak out because I heard glass breaking behind me. So I hid in this closet thing for 30 min trying not to freak out. Any ways a lot of other crappy things happened but fast forward to when I got home- she said that those people were sneaking up on me with shards of glass and she didn’t no anything?! Cool ok. Well that’s when I realized she was a POS and on top of that she never really felt like a friend. She only felt like a mom which isn’t what I needed. Anyways fast forward to middle of January. I had just got done hanging out with my boyfriend and was on my way home. When I got home they wanted me to pick up some cheese and wine mind you I don’t have a car and well I didn’t have a job at this time. They started saying “come have your boy toy come get you and take you” well o said no because he was almost back to his house ( he lives 15 min away) they said ok you can walk (it was 11 at night and around 30 degrees) I asked why they couldn’t get it and they basically ignored me. Well being a good bf that he is- he came to get me and he respectfully asked my mom for gas money since he had to drive back just to take me to the store when they could have. My mom blew up and started talking crap about my bf and well my bf mom is protective and that did not got well. Long story short- my parents texted in the group chat to lock the door and not let me in. I started my new job the next day so the cops were called for a keep the peace. They did not like that at all. Then I got the immediate things I needed and left. The next morning I texted them saying lmk when you guys want me back home and she said no “you have to schedule a day and time to come get all your stuff” no warning nothing. I was shocked. Then everyone started saying that I made the choice to leave. I didn’t want to leave. Even though I did not feel loved in that house and I got an unfinished basement to live in that had water damage. I didn’t want to leave. Then I found out that Piper moved in to my old room and was wearing my clothes and my perfumes and makeup. Which of you know- those aren’t cheap. Anyways I cut them off and I’ve been trying to keep into contact with my dad and somehow some way they are still figuring out ways to hurt me. Like my grandma keeps posting about my sister even though my bday is in 2 days. I suck at telling stories to let me know if you have questions but I just need advice. I’m hurt and it’s been months now. I don’t know what to
Hi, I am 39M and I am 5'4, 320lbs. For the last 15 years I've spent every waking moment of my life on the computer, and I've been eating takeout every. single. night. I never thought my proportions would get this bad. I wheeze alot, especially for someone at my young age, and amongst my colleagues, I've never felt the warm embrace of a woman. The closest I've ever got wasn't even in a sexual context but some lady on the bus fell asleep on my shoulder. I know its weird to say but it was the most sexually gratifying moment I've ever felt in my life. I didn't talk to her of course because I didn't want to frighten her, but being close to a girl for once prompted me to have this sort of awakening/reflection. I want to get married. I want to make my sick mom proud. Is anyone else going through this?
Lately I'm feeling challenged to be more confident, true to myself, and honest. I don't want to lie to people, ignore my feelings, or enable anyone. However, I don't know how to do this without hurting anyone. I'll give some examples of the conflicts in my life lately.
Right now, I'm taking steps to get where I want to be in life. This year I started living and working at a conservancy, a truly fantastic place. It's the first time in my life that I feel surrounded by maturity. I can respect everyone here; in fact, I feel challenged to live up to their standard. What that tells me is that there are people in the world who don't force me into these horrible situations where I feel like I either have to ignore their behavior, or I have to hurt them and myself by confronting them.
My question is, is it even an option to only have relationships with mature people? How can I handle the immaturity of others? What makes me feel guilty is putting myself in a position to judge. Who am I to say how someone should act? I don't want to have to do so. However, I've been told by a mentor that seeing immaturity and saying nothing about it is enabling. Do I have to power through and confront people anyway? What if that confrontation gets me nothing but grief? Any thoughts are appreciated.
I am 27 M
Been smoking weed since 7-8 years on and off , masturbating regularly since 2020
I don't know what to do
How to overcome it and restart my life
Anny once quit this bad habit please guide me
Except doctor reference can anyone suggest me real methods to quit both
In India, my only concern is my mother and brother are suffering emotional pain due to my ass being stuck in a rot , this loop cycle doesn't seem to end I'm literally causing them pain by choosing not to act when I can see they are suffering, what sort of a son and brother am i, why can't the pain that makes me cry for 5-10 mins not be intense enough to unalive myself, i am tired of giving them emotional pain by being stuck , i need to unalive but I'm unable to
i'm a 20 year old girl and my phone addiction, inability to make decisions and regulate my emotions cost me my summer job two weeks ago. i now have nothing to do with my time and am living at home with my quietly frustrated parents. my social awareness and fitness sucks. what do i do to turn my summer into the best summer ever and live my life the way i should at my age?
lately i’ve been wanting to go back to sh myself, idk if this is a place to ask help about topics like this thoug, I just can’t get the feeling out of my head.
Today my mom got drunk on 4th of july, she lashed out at my sister, driving the car, my brother, and my sisters boyfriend.
im on the autism spectrum, and i am 12. I realized that this may not be good for my health as I grow up to be an adult. While I write this my eyes are sore from crying and I feel scared, my head hurts.
I had multiple panic attacks on the about 30 minute drive. I was crying. My brother was crying also, he’s just a year older. And my sister cried to, i was scared during the drive since with how my mom was acting.
please tell me anything to possibly help my mom stop this be or help me cope with the fear I am feeling.
i dealt with anxiety and panic attacks for years and did the whole routine, meditation, breathing stuff, journaling, tried therapy , the apps. it'd help for a week while and then come back, usually first wave worss. at some point i kind of accepted that my brain was just wired wrong and that was that. scrolling Amazon recently i stumbled on what actually shifted things for me was "Stop Fixing Yourself" by Timoteo Crnković. the title annoyed me at first tbh, sounded like more self-help nonsense, but it's the opposite of that. the whole idea is that the constant trying to fix it is part of what keeps anxiety alive:, like you're feeding the thing by fighting it so hard. reading it kind of dismantled the way i'd been approaching my own head for years. i did end up doing one online session with him too (he does conversational hypnotherapy), and that helped me get some closure, we didn't do techniques or coping mechanisms it was like talk session, more just got at why my brain was on guard in the first place. but honestly the book alone gave me already good enough of the shift. . After all the books i went through over the years, Stop Fixing Yourself, genuinely worth a read ,it's a short one. it sat with me way longer than any of the breathing apps ever did. just putting it out there in case someone's stuck in the same place with no new perspective.
I've never been able to talk to people, I'm always overthinking in conversations and making everything awkward. I gave up at 14 trying to talk to people as a whole because every time i tried to make a connection it just backfired into me wasting my mental.
I overthink what I could have said and have not gotten more than 5h proper sleep at night and after school I just come home drained trying to hold up my normal persona in class while I hide in the special ed classroom to not be judged/be at peace. I come home and just uncontrollably fall asleep. My relationship with my parents has also degraded and we dont talk, I have no one to talk to and im just in my head. I can't even get hi off anything because I can't talk to people to get a plug😂
For a week it got better when i got perscribed vyvanse then I got used to it and everything going back to the way it was. Turning 18 in a week, planning on leaving the house at 5am because every time i talk to relatives its a pain as well, asking me for my aspirations and I dont have shit going, no friends just there without purpose.
The only reason I haven't done it yet is because I do believe life can be beautiful and I want to work my way out the tunnel. Only thing keeping me through it is a brand I've slowly been building online and I have gotten some money but nothing passive. The issue is I can't work on it when I'm too busy coping with any distractions and I've been chasing it for a year while competitors who are out of school are racing ahead of me.
I have clear goals:
Another thing is, I can't express myself right now because to protect myself from restrictions or any assets being taken away by my parents I do anything to steer away from doing anything to spark negative conversations and judgement including expressing myself completely. (my room is bland, I dress normally) so I don't get anything taken away as punishment. When I am financially free I will be free In all aspects I believe, except for the talking to people part which I still have to learn.
Would appreciate any tips as i'm trying to move forward thanks😊
I think I finally figured out why self-improvement has been making me feel worse.
About a year ago, I came across a content creator who seemed to have everything I wanted.
He was in great shape, confident, attractive, making money doing what he loved, and people constantly praised him. At the time, I was working a 9–5, commuting a lot, had no relationship, barely any friends, and honestly felt like I had no identity or direction.
Seeing someone like that made me think, *"Why doesn't my life look like that?"*
So I went all in on self-improvement.
I started training again, eating more protein, drinking more water, taking better care of my skin and hair, and posting content consistently. Some of it actually worked. I got back into shape, became more athletic, and even started getting some traction online.
Then life hit.
I lost my job, moved back home, became depressed, and felt like I had lost all the progress I'd made. During that time, I started consuming more and more self-improvement content. At first it motivated me, but eventually it became something else.
I wasn't watching to learn anymore.
I was watching to compare.
I'd analyze everything—physique, confidence, routines, personality, success—and slowly I started trying to copy it. If they trained a certain way, I wanted to train that way. If they posted a certain type of content, I wanted to do the same. I kept thinking that if I just worked hard enough, maybe I'd finally become someone people looked at the same way.
The problem is that no matter how much progress I made, it never felt like enough.
I still felt like I wasn't attractive enough, successful enough, confident enough... just **not enough**.
Today it hit me that maybe I've been chasing someone else's identity instead of building my own.
I still want to improve. I still want to look good, be confident, make money outside of a regular job, and build a life I'm proud of.
But I don't know where the line is between healthy inspiration and quietly becoming obsessed with someone else's life.
Has anyone else gone through this? If so, how did you stop comparing yourself and start building confidence in your own path?
I'm posting this from my alt account.
Even though it's been 8–9 months, I still think about her. I still get the urge to talk to her. Even though I know what she did to me, I still have anger toward her. I want to move on, but I just can't. I'll give a brief summary of what happened. (By the way, I have genuinely healthy relationships, close friends, and a spouse who loves me. I'm not alone.) I just don't understand why someone I was only friends with for six months had such a huge impact on me.
She once told me that she was a sadist, that she wanted to hurt people, and that she wanted to get rid of those thoughts but simply couldn't. She had even gone to a psychiatrist because of it. Even while we were friends, she would sometimes treat me badly and let her sadistic side show. I always tried to help her.
However, there are things I absolutely cannot tolerate in relationships: being lied to, being ignored, and people not keeping their promises. She didn't keep some of the promises she made to me, and when I told her that I was hurt, she reacted very aggressively. After that, there were times when she ignored me. The first time, I warned her. The second time, I warned her again. The third time, I gave her some time, and then I made my decision.
I decided to end the friendship. (I've ended unhealthy friendships before and never looked back. I thought it would be the same this time, but it wasn't. I still think about her.)
When I ended the friendship, she surprised me. She responded maturely, saying that she had actually been in the hospital, that she had personal issues, and that was why she couldn't reply. I felt guilty.
A few days later, I messaged her because I wondered how she was doing. She ignored me again.
I continued to message her occasionally (about unrelated things). Eventually, she replied in such an aggressive way that I couldn't believe it. It was as if we had never been friends and had always been enemies.
The next day, I apologized, hoping we could fix things, but the exact opposite happened. She insulted me relentlessly. She said my apology was fake, that I was a terrible friend, and many other things. I felt awful. No matter what I said, she twisted my words and used them against me.
Two weeks later, I apologized again, hoping that this time she would believe I was sincere. She never replied and disappeared.
She was gone for five or six months. During that time, I reread our old conversations and realized there were many moments where she had gaslighted me.
Then she came back.
On social media, she did everything she could to get my attention. I ignored her for a month, then eventually sent her a short message. She responded extremely aggressively again, but when I confronted her about the things she had done, her aggression started to fade. By the end of the conversation, for the first time in a long while, the conversation ended in more positive way.
Two days later, she messaged me from a fake account, pretending to be someone else. I realized it was her almost immediately. (Throughout all of this, I talked to my friends and my spouse. They all warned me to stay away from her, but for some reason I still think about her and want to contact her.)
I prepared a few trap questions to expose that it was her fake account. As soon as I did, she disappeared and suddenly blocked me on her real account, even though we had been talking on it for about a month.
Later, I looked at her account through a friend's profile. She had done something she had previously told me that she wouldn’t she had created a Discord server. I also know she definitely didn't want me to see it. So I joined the server using my own Discord account without saying anything.
While reading the conversations there, I caught her in several lies. It turned out she wasn't even living in the country she had told me she lived in.
When I found that out, I was overwhelmed with a desire for revenge. I tricked her into messaging me, and then I sent her an extremely harsh and aggressive message in the same style she had always used against me. I deliberately targeted the things I knew would hurt her because she had done that to me countless times.
It's been two months since then, and we haven't had any contact. But I still catch myself thinking, I wish we could have stayed friends, or I wish she'd message me somehow and we could forget all of this and fix things. I want to get over this because I know that even if we became friends again today, she would probably hurt me every single day.
I don't understand why I still feel this way, and I'm also ashamed that I'm still hurting after all this time.
I ended a 5 year relationship last summer, since then I have been trying to spend time alone as it was the reason why i broke up with my partner.
Some days are fine, but in the summer it really is hard when I go outside and see so many people walking holding hands, being with others etc.
I am not trying to avoid relationships or connection because I believe that is core to being human (we all need connection) but I can't help but realise that when I am in the park by myself, or trying new food places and eating it by myself I am thinking about how great it would be to share this moment with someone (romantically). Then I force myself to be grateful for this moment and ofc it's forced so its not an authentic feeling, then i get exhausted and want to go home away from people.
I notice I think about relationships, romance, how attractive someone is whenever I am walking about, my mind and thoughts are so centred on men and relationship while I am single and it is making me feel like I will never feel content alone
Hey (potentially) previous fellow weed smokers!
Today is the day… 4th July and I’m doing it! I’m quitting weed!
Like many, I used to do it in my teens with friends. Invece/twice a week, but not every week. No big deal…
Fast forward to being 34 and living alone after a divorce. I became a daily (all day smoker)
I became demotivated, numb, vacant, only cared about weed.
I’m now 38 and I’ve quit 3 times this year, the longest was 70 days. But for the past 2 months I’ve been doing it daily and it’s a problem. I have to stop, not just now, but forever.
I have adhd, prescribed 40mg adderall a day. Tend to take around 20mg a week tops! I found it made me want to smoke more and I could smoke an obscene amount and not feel that high.
Even when I don’t take meds, the amount I can smoke is concerning, especially considering it doesn’t make me feel like I’m “that high” or maybe “high” to me now, is “normal”.
Anyway, I know I’ve been using it to cope, rather than smile. So it has to stop.
Where did my zest for life, personality and charisma go? To the dispensary… that’s where!!
Also, I really don’t think the weed pens are good. So highly concentrated and I personally believe they are way more addictive that a joint! Too convenient and discreet too. (Easy to hide that you’re doing it all the time and have become a functioning drug addict!)
Wish me luck guys! And happy 4th to you all!
I don’t really know how to put this into words, but I just need to get it out somewhere.
I feel like no matter what I try, I can’t make anything work in my life. I’ve tried learning skills, I’ve tried building things, I’ve tried looking into ways to make money, I’ve tried different directions, and it all just ends the same way. nothing sticks, nothing turns into anything real.
It’s getting to the point where I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do anymore. I feel like I’m always starting over, always behind, always missing something that other people just seem to understand naturally.
I see other people moving forward in life. getting jobs, making money, building something for themselves and I just feel stuck in the same place no matter how much I try to change it.
I don’t even think I’m looking for motivation or advice right now. I just feel exhausted and disappointed in myself, like I can’t seem to become anything I thought I would be.
I don’t know if I’m just doing everything wrong, or if I’m just not built for this kind of thing, but right now it really feels like I’m failing at life in general.
I guess I just needed to say it somewhere instead of holding it in.
Just my experience. I don’t hate any group of people.
I am a 20 year old sophomore in college. About 6’1 with a muscular and athletic frame and a decent (in my opinion) face. I got some attention from the opposite gender in highschool. I had only a slight bearing on my full potential at the time in terms of looks. At my worst, I was a semi chubby 230 with a frizzy mullet and a pizza face. I was frustrated with dating at the time, my first talking stage (I have NEVER had a commited girlfriend) discarded me after six months because 1: she found a better looking version of me, and 2: I moved WAY too slowly and didn’t make the move fast enough because I didn’t know how.
The summer after I left high school, I realized I needed to look better to be worthy of love from the women I wanted. I lost a decent amount of weight, got dermal fillers and fixed my skin, and changed my haircut. For once, I was able to win over at least some attention from these girls. I was egged on by friends and then left by a girl at the end of the summer, but I was going somewhere and at least interacting again. I had my first kiss my freshman year with a girl I thought I was getting along great and getting emotional with, and then she ghosted me the next morning after we made out. The next girl had me competing with 2 other men in the month long talking stage we had where I spent the boyfriend level time with her but left her because she couldn’t give up the guy she told me not to worry about (she cheated on her next boyfriend with him). I had emotional investment in her. A different girl after that mentioned her roster a multiplicity of times trying to make me jealous and then send me a text about how she got creampied by another guy after I politely communicated to her that I couldn’t emotionally bear long distance.
Now, I am with a girl that treats me like a human dildo and attempts to play jealousy games on me with all of her social media suitors, who has no interest in any connection or emotional investment that I am craving but never had.
7 sexual partners after I started looking better, none of which made girlfriend stage. I started putting intense obsessive effort into my looks because of toxic blackpill content, and I succeeded only partially. I’ve only been exclusively used for sex and attention by Gen Z women, and I’m very disenfranchised in my beliefs about them. I don’t want to believe these toxic ideas, like the “Hypergamy” stereotype or the notion that women love cheating to humiliate their partner. I see this constant egotism and instant gratification in every partner I’ve had as a result of the constant stream of admirers on social media.
This mindset and view on dating and women in my generation is draining, and I don’t want to believe it or its implications, but my real world experiences have never supported anything else. I don’t know what to do about it.
I am 14F and have realized I think everything revolves around me. I have beat myself up about it a lot recently. Whenever something goes wrong to me, I usually complain about it not realizing that I am in the wrong. My friends had said something about it once and I thought they were stupid, but I later realized I was the stupid one. I also have problems with socialization and listening about other people’s feelings or interests. I have gotten somewhat better at that but I just need some tips on it. I started online school last year and my social skills have dropped significantly. I’d love if you could take your time to just give me tips on this.
​
It doesn't have to be anything dramatic. It could be something as simple as going for a morning walk, reading 10 pages a day, drinking more water, journaling, deleting social media, making your bed, or sleeping earlier.
I'm looking for practical habits that actually made a noticeable difference in your mood, productivity, health, relationships, or overall quality of life. What's your habit, and how did it change things for you?
Hi! I want to have a glow up but I'm not sure where to start. I've never really used any skincare or body care products before. My face looks dull, I have some tanning, and I'm not very fit right now. I know I can improve with the right routine. I'd love some beginner-friendly advice on skincare, body care, fitness, and healthy habits to help me look and feel my best.