u/mehhasitufasi69

Hi I am very depressed about my career and i don't have anything to do and I just stay at home and see my parents fight which really affected my mental health i really want to do something in life i didn't join college as I wanted to do mbbs but I got bds plus I am not getting enough support from my father idk how much scope is there in India about bds and it is low but I don't want to prepare again for the competitive exam and he is just arguing with me and my mom I need serious help I have past sh history and now i am four months but I really filled trapped in this home my preparation was hampered by this but my father is blaming me for all the mess now I feel i can't do anything in life and i just wanted to just end my life I am suffering a lot my mental health is going down and my physical health is also going bad this all started when I in class 9 idk what to do i seriously need help and some advice and courage to talk to my father he speaks I'll and doesn't care if it hurted me or not if I cry he will call me weak see a random say rubbish to me I won't mind but being my parents they should mind their words I feel like I am losing everything

So how is life going? Sab logon ka mine is kinda sad, honestly and idk what to do. I did not score well for a government medical College. Still, my family, especially my father, insisted on a pvt medical College. I kinda got happy atleast they are understanding me and even I was sad at first i slowly thought that was a nice opportunity. Still, I was to early to celebrate because now he is willing me to do it and he is constantly putting chaos in the home. My mom is trying her best to convince him but it seems it didn't work now things are turning ugly. Before also he abuses us me and my mom but now he is suggesting me to bsc agriculture as a course and give neet 2027 also bsc agriculture from a pvt university and i don't want to do it idk what made him think that last year i got a government agriculture college and this time I didn't appear for that exam but he is constantly criticizing me even I was so sick in the preparation phase i used to take so many pain killers to reduce the pain and still did my best but I remember during the exam i was very much unwell and they were aware of it . Now he is telling my mom that I am unworthy and coward and I can't do anything . Beside all I got a bds seat in a college I think semi govt and the fees is well he can afford it but he will pay them at a pvt university for BSc Agriculture, where the college is not that good. I am so done with this family; they gave me so much hope at the beginning. My family was always toxic, and surviving there is like living in hell. At the end i don't know I am very not interested in agriculture and i don't want to do he is forcing for another partial drop and I am not ready when re neet was announced I was so devastated but now again i don't want to do pls help me to choose a course and help my mental health i am severely depressed and always kind of thinking negative things i wish i die and never wake up from this idk my father so toxic peace out pls help if possible