r/sex

I (20f) am going on a date with this guy (21m) next week, we’ve been talking for a few weeks and there’s really good chemistry and good banter. I think it will go well, but im a bit worried about sleeping with him on the first date. I’m hyper-sexual, so I tend to kind of leap headfirst into sex which I’m trying to get better at not doing.
I do love sex and if the vibe is there I’m probably definitely going to invite him back to my house.

Be honest, is it actually that bad to sleep with someone on the first date? I don’t want him to think I’m too ‘easy’ or anything but at the same time I’m like eh I’m young what’s the issue.
Is this something that guys actually think?

I've seen some adverts for intimacy pillows in my socials. I'm not advertising but the company was called ComfyPillows product was sweet spot intimacy pillow.

Has anybody had success with these products? Me and my wife are going through a dry spell and I think a little boost to comfort and pleasure may help.

I was a virgin when I met my boyfriend and was aware of the fact that sex can be uncomfortable and/or painful in the beginning but that your body gets used to it after you’ve been intimate a couple of times.

We’ve been together for 2 years now and have had sex many times but the thing is, it’s never not painful or uncomfortable for me to some degree. Out of all the times we’ve had sex, maybe 2-3 occasions have been pretty much painless. I’m always sore afterwards and it feels like my vagina is a bruise.

This is making it hard for me to get turned on properly because I know what is coming. I assume my body associates sex with pain and therefore I cannot get properly turned on. It’s a viscous cycle. There have been times where I kind of don’t want to hang out because I just don’t wanna deal with the sex and I cant reject it. I want it in theory but it never gets better in practice. It’s making me feel difficult. I cannot physically live up to the version I have of myself in my mind. I want to be sexy, fun and capable but I’m actually sexually crippled.

Hi all, my (27) gf and I (m27), have ongoing exhibitionist fantasies and want to start taking some leaps to explore our shared kink. However, we want to ethically explore without subjecting unconsenting folks to our play. Do any fellow exhitionists have any good ideas/suggestions on how to best explore this?

hello

me and my gf are new to sexual activity and ive wanted to like have her on the recieving end of some sort of vaginal play (fingering or eating her out) but the second i make contact with her coochie she flinches and laughs saying it tickles too much? this hasn't been the case for actual penetration weirdly so idk

My partner and I are looking for a ph balanced water based lube that -doesn't smell

-isn't sticky

-anal compatible

-big bottle (200ml+ ideally)

-available to buy in EU

We have used lubido and it very much did the job but that was about it, we now want to try a better lube.

Thank you in advance!

So basically my bf(m21) and i(f20) have been going out for almost 3 years and our sexual life has been good. I was his first but he wasn’t mine in the beginning he’d bend over backwards to please me and get me off. In the beginning it was awkward but he was really eager to learn me inside and out. Once he got everything down it was like a switch flipped and he wanted to have sec every time we hung out. During this time i had changed birth controls and my libido had changed and I made it known. Eventually my body got used to the new medication i was prescribed and i started initiating more often. We went back to our normal routine and he went back to his enthusiastic self. During my time away in college i had to come off my birth control as per my doctors advice. This didn’t change anything about our sex life when i came back.

Which brings me to my current problem i’m not totally sure when it started but as of late whenever he comes over to my house he’ll have me suck him off and he’ll dirty talk to me about the things he wants to do to me but before he even gets to put a condom on he’ll jerk himself off and then we won’t do anything the rest of the night. Or we’ll cuddle for a while and right before he leaves he’ll start kissing me and get me going again right before he has to go and he’ll just keep repeating that he has to go soon. It’s honestly so confusing like i brought up the turning me on as he’s leaving and how that makes me feel frustrated but he’s still doing it. Honestly i think it’s weird and it made me cry because of how unfulfilled i felt. Like it’s so frustrating that he gets to get off and i just get edged for like an hour.

It’s not something that i’ve dealt with before in previous relationships but this is my longer relationship. I’m unsure how to proceed with this. Like i don’t want to make him feel bad about this but i do t think i can handle another situation that ends with me crying over not getting anything other than verbally being edged or just getting a half hearted fingering.

Think im gonna lose virginity soon and want to last long. I’ve gotten blowjob before last 2 minutes was sway too excited and nervous remember heart was beating so fast. With sex is it different? Was thinking maybe to do control breathing to wear heart isnt beating so quick that way i last longer. Would that help?

My boyfriend and I are going on our first real vacation together next month for five nights at a pretty fancy all-inclusive resort. We’ve been together about 8 months and were both looking forward to a romantic getaway… except I just realized I’m almost definitely going to be on my period for most (if not all) of the trip.

Neither of us is really into period sex and I also just don’t feel my best when I have my period so I’m looking for ideas on how to keep things fun, flirty, and intimate without it feeling like the trip is “wasted.” For anyone who’s been in a similar situation, what worked for you? Any ideas for making the trip still feel sexy and romantic despite the bad timing?

Hi guys. I really enjoy giving to my boyfriend when we get freaky. Like i enjoy giving him blowjobs, boob jobs etc. I have a much higher libidio and am generally kinkier than him which isn’t an issue for me.

However it sometimes bothers me because he seems unwilling to do anything for me. For example, sometimes we will finish having sex and even if I have finished - which is not an uncommon occurrence - i want to go again and obviously men can usually only last twice (counting a BJ and a round of sex). So sometimes I just want him to do something with my boobs whilst i do the work , etc.

However everytime i ask him to, he kinda just sighs in a way? Idk not like a “ugh omg” but just in a “do i really have to” kind of way.

I’m also into praise, degrading, etc and he doesn’t really do any of that, other than pull my hair. I get it is out of his comfort zone but i want to experience my kinks as it really gets me off.

I’m unsure how to communicate either issue to him without making him feel like he doesn’t fulfil me because he really does - it’s just these two things that are constantly on my mind. Does anyone have any advice ?

Im in my late twenties, married with 2 small kids. I dont know if its because the last few years of my life has been heavy but now that I am connecting back to my sexual side I am noticing that Im not able to properly turn on.
When I was just learning about sex and watching a couple vids here and there, I would get so wet and would tent. But I dont feel that passion and thirst anymore… what can I do to get that hunger for sex back?

this is my first time ever posting or asking anything on reddit, so please be nice!

i’ve been hooking up with this guy for a few months now and honestly it’s been great. he’s a really sweet guy, kind of dumb in an endearing way, and just very easy to be around. he’s also the first guy i’ve ever let eat me out, so i feel like we’ve already done a lot of pretty intimate things together.

lately i’ve been curious about trying anal. the thing is, pretty much everyone i know, including all of my girlfriends, thinks anal is gross or weird, so i think i’ve kind of internalized that. at the same time, it seems like it could feel really good and i do want to try it.
i guess what i’m struggling with is bringing it up. i know talking about these kinds of things is normal, but i’m worried about weirding him out by suggesting it. he’s definitely pretty freaky, but i have no idea if he’s freaky enough to be into anal, if that makes sense.

i also have another concern. i’ve read that douching or trying to clean out your colon before anal isn’t really recommended and can actually be unhealthy, but i’m worried that if i do end up asking him and we try it, i won’t be “clean” enough, if that makes sense.

for those of you who’ve been in a similar situation, how did you bring it up with your partner? and if you’ve tried anal, what helped you feel comfortable and prepared beforehand?

thank you!

hello!! i (19f) kinda have been having an issue regarding me and my boyfriends (20ftm) sex life.

we are really compatible and i do really enjoy our sex but ive been wanting to explore a bit more. my boyfriend is such a sweetie and hes been trying his best but hes very vanilla and im also his first ever sexual partner so this is all very new to him.

im really into a person being mean to be during it and just being very dominant and assertive. i know it sounds odd to people but its basically just a degrading kink 😭😭..

the problem is that even tho my boyfriend tries so hard to be able to talk to me like that he cant manage to stay in the role and he says that i just look at him so happy and cute that he cant help but break character. ive been trying to stay more serious but whenever he does manage to be dominant and mean i just get so happy and blushy i cannot contain my excitement. 😭 this is so embarrassing to talk about but i do want him to also hit me and grab me and manhandle me but hes so scared of hurting me and hes so gentle to me!!

i was wondering if anyone has advice on how to be able to keep yourself in character and how my boyfriend could improve on this whole thing. he says he likes it and its my dream to implement it more into our sex life but hes just such a gentle angel 🥲

I’m a straight 27(M) married for 2 years to a straight 28(F). We both got married as virgins and I wouldn’t do it any other way. We are both inexperienced, but communicated prior to marriage that we’re open to explore more than just basic sex.
We find that we both enjoy oral sex more than penetration. I have no issue going down on her, however she’ll only go down on me if I’m wearing a condom. Not because of any diseases, but simply because she won’t taste the semen…I think the concept of that disgusts her. I dont mind accommodating, but I’ve heard how much better a blowjob is without a condom and I have fantasy’s of receiving deepthroating, gagging, and sloppy blowjobs. I’m super greatful to my wife and I want to be patient with her, but also I don’t know what to do about this fantasy and desire that I may never experience. I also don’t know if that experience is common in most marriages or not.
Please advise

It kinda isn’t. I (23m) and my gf (23f) have been dating for almost 1 year. Sex has always been pretty good, but we’ve kinda stalled out a bit over the last 5 months. She’s kinda sex shy / conservative, whereas I was always more positive / kinky side.

Anyway, sex has become pretty much rinse and repeat. She doesn’t like being on top (which she explains she feels uncomfortable with me seeing her in that position, which I’ve explained she needn’t worry about but not gonna make her do anything she’s not comfortable with) so we’re basically only left with missionary or ‘doggy’ (kinda like prone bone i guess) because proper doggy her butt is too exposed. She doesn’t like to give oral, she’s ok to receive it but conditionally to if she has recently showered etc etc. She doesn’t care about foreplay, so when I do give her oral she enjoys it but will get me out of there quickly and fast forward to the sex. She’s quite stubborn on kinks and stuff, when the topic is brought up in conversation or in regards to others, she is vocal on how she finds it strange and is glad I don’t have any of them. Except, I think a lot of kinks are fun and some aspects can be good to keep it fresh. Idk.

We’re going through a patch of long distance and the closest thing we get to sex is dirty talk while masturbating, but only ever written over text. For me that is kinda dull, and leaves me a bit sexually unsatisfied. No pictures or video calls etc. she sends zoomed out nudes but wouldn’t make anything more extreme than that.

There was a period 6-7 months ago where she was being a bit more experimental and sexy, but I was struggling with my own issues and wasn’t in the place to reciprocate at the time. I’m worried I kiboshed that for her. It makes me think our sex life definitely can change but idk how to do it. She’s sensitive to the topic and i don’t want it to come across as criticism. It’s not, I find her so attractive and would love her to feel more confident, and to see her self how I do. I also find sexual confidence more sex than anything. I have had partners like that and that was always great sex.

The short of it is, I find her to unintentionally be a bit selfish with sex, and don’t want to let it get in the way of our actual relationship which is the main priority for me. How do I get over this position, whilst still respecting her boundaries and not making her feel like I’m expecting more from her, or that she isn’t enough?

I [39F] have been with my partner [40M] for two years. I enjoy him, love him, and am very attracted to him. We have differences but have grown through them in many ways and I am happy to be in a relationship with him. I tend to be very verbally affectionate and speak up when I find him sexy or handsome or feel affectionate towards him. He is not verbally affectionate. Even physical affection does not come naturally to him. I often reach out toward him to connect or embrace and he often almost reactionarily deflects or even dodges me. I try to give him space, but it hurts my feelings. Similarly I will express my physical attraction to him. He often responds by making it a joke or saying he doesn't know what to do with me. It often makes me feel rejected.

I have very carefully and cautiously tried to tell him these responses make me feel rejected. It isn't something he seems to be able to hear. He goes silent. Struggles to communicate back. If I ask him what he is thinking or feeling in response to what I am sharing he typically responds along the lines of "I just wish I could find someone who accepted me for who I am." And at that point, I just totally feel like I'm the problem. So I end up feeling still rejected and also like I'm being a crazy, needy, never satisfied woman. When what I want so badly is to connect with him, enjoy him, and feel enjoyed by him in return. I love him and think he is a beautiful man, but no matter what way I come up with to express it it just feels like I get brushed off or laughed at.

Any suggestions or tips on how to fix this dynamic?

TLDR: feeling constantly rejected by my partner with bids for affection and connection.

Sorry if my grammar is not spot on, im not a native speaker.

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years. I love him to death, he is kind with any type of living thing, he's smart af, makes me laugh daily and i'm lucky to have a partner with the same morals, values and life goals as me. He is the most caring and understandable boyfriend i could hope for, considering how difficult i am. Every day he proves his love for my with his actions and words. Honestly i feel like i don't deserve him.

Our intimate dinamic has been kinda the same from the beginning, then with me trying to express my wants only for the last years

He always initiated and we had a good sex life for the first couple of years, but after a while he expressed how he feels weird always being the only one to do it. He explained how he feels unwanted and like i'm not attracted to him (which is not true at all). I still replay in my head how he said he feels like a predator when for the last 2+ years he has been the only one to express the wish for sex in a direct way.

I tried to explain why that is. Basically i hate my body and feel unattractive at all. I feel awkward in/with my body and i have always had issues with asking for anything from anybody. When i was horny in the beginning i pretty much supressed it because he was doing something else. I know that's absurd, because its not like he could do nothing the whole day just waiting for me to ask for sex. I told him that and he said i shouldn't mind his activities, because anything can be paused or interrupted and also he would enjoy sex more than video games or youtube videos or whatever else.

Since then i tried doing it, but when i try by physical signs i guess it doesnt come across as asking for intimacy because we are usually physically affectionate, so he doesnt get it and i feel awkward insisting. When i try to verbalize it i spend so much time in my head looking for the right thing to say, or the right moment, that i get anxious and barely feel like being intimate anymore.

Until i got with him i never had this problem before, but that is only because my history with sex is pretty weird. I know i need therapy (like really bad) but we can barely afford to eat the last third of the month before the next paycheck, so for now i'll have to deal with my issues by myself.

I'm sick of self sabotaging my relationship (its not the only communication problem i have) and im heartbroken by how i make my boyfriend feel.

So, reddit, how the fuck do i get over myself and learn to communicate?

I (25F) have been with my partner (30M) for almost 5 years and our relationship is perfect. We love each other so much, we have a lot of fun together and we just work in every aspect.. except our sex life. I would say after the first year he started declining sex with me more and more. He was very upfront with that it wasn’t about my looks, his sexual attraction towards me or anything like that. He told me that he is very happy with how I am in bed and overall very happy in our relationship, he just doesn’t have the same crave for intimacy as I do. I was very honest with him from the beginning of our relationship both with my actions and words that I have an extremely high libido. We have talked several times throughout the years about this problem and he’s said that he will try to do more but life always just continues on and nothing changes.
I told him several times that I can tone it down and that I don’t need to have sex 2-3x a day to be happy, I will be satisfied with doing it maybe 2x a week. I also stopped initiating and talking about it since he told me that it just creates more pressure for him. Everything that he has told me to do/not to do I have respected and done. We have sex maybe once a month, sometimes once every other month. I don’t know what to do anymore or if anyone is in a similar situation. I love him so much, I love our life together and the last thing I want is for us to part ways… but I’m becoming increasingly miserable and I feel so neglected in that aspect. Every thought and idea is greatly appreciated.

I don’t mean 2 girls with 1 guy.

I mean just 1 girl sucking the guy off - he cums, she doesn’t stop and goes for round 2, until he cums again, leaving him for dead in bed…?

It’s something I want to try… but can imagine it to be a work out for my wife.

Hence wanna try this on a special night - but before i talk to her about it, any thoughts on this by anyone who has experienced/done this before?

(My fantasy; which she knows about and we will do it all before having kids - I will be her sugar daddy (with actual large payments into her account - she loves to be spoiled with money, and I love splurging on her)… and I will take her on a ‘free use’ vacation, meaning 2-3 days of that trip would be free use.

Now she knows I love head way more than anything and she knows she’d be sucking me of any chance she gets.

However (she does sometimes tell me to cum faster, which has been happening anyway since she knows how I like it and I end up cumming within 5-10 mins of the BJ) - Im assuming I’d last longer the second time…

When I fantasies about these upcoming trip - I want to just shove her down to her knees or pin her on the bed, shove my dick in her face without any slow playfulness, and just start fucking her face (aka having my pleasure), and when I cum, I simply put her in a new position, and start fucking her mouth again.

In my fantasy: I come in her mouth both the times (something we haven’t done in real life, she doesn’t like the texture - so Im open to skipping this if she never gets over it, which I have realised is a normal body response, and not a sign of how much she loves me.. lol)

So you can see the two gaps between my fantasy + our current reality of sex life.

But we both have spoken a lot about going way moreee kinkier and of course I am to take the lead on that.

So I want to ask: even if I do this as a one time thing - any one ever given/gotten a BJ back to back - was the second round fun? Or did the PNC kick in and not make it fun (no point in her jaw aching if Im not having fun right lmao)

I yesterday fucked her in bdsm back to back (with no break after cumming) - and to my surprise - for the first 4-5 mins of the second round, I wasn’t really having fun and had to wait to get the horniness back in my system - even tho I was 65% hard and kept fucking her (as she was loving it)

But of course this Back to Back BJ would be for my pleasure.

People:

I (51M) am wondering if this is part of aging or it can be compensated.

My partner and I went for first round without problems. I was able to get it up again in about 15-20 minutes. But the moment I started thrusting I would lose my erection. She was able to revive it after pulling out, but it kept going soft when the penetration resumed. It didn't matter if I was doing it standing up or lying down, but as long as I wasn't thrusting, I had no problem staying hard.

Did anyone experience something similar and what could be done? I was considering the possibility of using a cock ring, but she told me it would make things worse in the long-run (which I agree).

Thanks.

PS: I was recently put on blood pressure medication, but this issue already started before. Otherwise this is the only med I am on.