r/sex

I of course wouldn't force her to but its just a preference i have. I also feel like i was born to be a eater, and i feel like it would be better if she was clean shaven. I of course dont want her to feel bad or dirty if she has hair or if she doesnt want to, i would never force my girlfriene to do anything she doesnt want to. Any tips?

EDIT: I've become aware of the dangers of shaving completely such as ingrown hairs. i was not aware of this prior to making this post. the thought of proposing a complete shave is no longer an option for me if it could be painful for her. i will now instead be asking for the possibiltiy of a trim and i am willing to trim it for her. and if she says no to a trim too, i will NOT be mad at her because it is her body her choice.

Also my use of the word gross was completely wrong. i just have a preference for not hairy vaginas. that said i will not be asking her to shave it, i will be offering her to trim it for her

My girlfriend and I have a healthy sex life, but we also have quite different experience levels and views on sex. I say this without judgement, it would be fair to label her tastes as vanilla. For example, she will still say to me I'm being "gross" if I try and flirt with her and say something like "I really wanna eat your pussy" or "I can't wait to fuck you when I get back" if I'm away for work. She desires me, she just gets embarrassed by that sort of language. She has had less sexual partners before we met so this may be a factor. We're both in our 30s. None of this is an issue really, I just want to give some context to my dilemma.

We've been together a few years now and over that time have compromised with each other. For example, in the beginning she said she didn't like giving blowjobs, ever. I made sure I didn't pressure her, however over time I explained why I enjoyed it and I found not asking for it made her feel comfortable to eventually incorporate it into our sex life. It also helps that I enjoy eating her out so it's reciprocal.

The line for her, though, seems to be me cumming in her mouth after giving me a blowjob. It's not a case of spit or swallow, it's neither. Of course consent is crucial and as I have for previous things in the bedroom, I don't want to pressure or 'convince' her to do things just because I want them. I don't think this is something she will change her mind on over time. What happens at the moment is when I'm about to cum I tell her and she takes my dick out of her mouth and finishes me with her hand. I'm not sure if anyone can relate, but this kind of kills my orgasm, it ruins the intensity and it's just not the same. I really appreciate my girlfriend giving me oral sex though and I don't want to say anything to discourage her. I've mentioned cumming in her mouth occasionally but she's not interested, for now at least.

Is there anything I could do to make her feel comfortable with this? Or do I need to just enjoy what we have? I'd value anyone's insights and advice.

A friend of mine I met at the gym has kindly invited me to a GB, which would be my first time trying and not too sure what to expect and how to prepare myself for it.

Including myself, there will be 5 guys and 2 ladies. Around 2h of fun at a hotel. To guys who had prior experience, what should I be expecting and how should I prepare myself to have a better experience? Because 2h for 5 guys to have their fun with the 2 ladies does sound like non-stop action with no rest. How do you guys do it?

Happy weekend all

Do kegals make any real difference for vaginal tightness?

I don't really know how to say this without feeling like a total piece of shit, but my girlfriend is a bit on the looser side. Before anyone says anything, its not deathgrip as I don't use my hand for masturbating and I've gone months without masturbating to test this theory with her. I can still orgasm with her, but I do have to put in more effort physically and mentally to bring myself to the edge compared to my prior three girlfriends. She just genuinely feels looser. Its not an attraction thing, she's stunning to me physically and we've clicked and become each others best friends. I think we have a real shot at something meaningful and long lasting so this isn't a deal breaker for me. But it would just be nice if this wasn't an issue. Would kegals make any difference for her or is it more or less it is what it is?

I have no earthly fucking idea how I could even bring this up with her without hurting her which I don't want to do. Hence part of the reason why I'm asking. I was thinking if they do actually do something, maybe just bringing it up in a way about "adding on" to our sex life, not a there's "something wrong" we need to fix kind of way and not even bringing up the topic about her being loose.

Am I too easy for my boyfriend ? Me ( F20) and my bf (M21) only see each other about twice a week and those two days I’m always trying to have sex and make the most of it because did we don’t we have to wait another week. Yes, I know, there’s more to a relationship than sex, but there is nothing exciting about my life. I love him to death and he is my best friend but I really don’t have any other friends. I don’t party. We don’t even go out. So these two days I look forward to and I’m especially excited when we drink. When we drink, we just do it in my room and have fun. But our whole relationship I’ve felt like I’ve always been the easy one. I’m always the one initiating sex. If he does initiate I always say yes. For two reasons, because I want to and also because sometimes I worry about him leaving after being w me unsatisfied. Tonight I invited him over and it was clear why. I was kissing on him and he was just stiff and serious. When I asked why he said he wasn’t looked forward to work. Granted he does work overnights but it just sucks. I tried to tell him to just relax and be present but he wasn’t feeling it. Once he left it just made me think about how easy access I am to him. I’ve tried to not be so easy but I can’t help it sometimes. I feel like he doesn’t get excited to have sex with me or feels anticipation because he just knows he’ll get it. But you know who wonders if I’ll get some? Me. And it just feel so backwards to me idk why. I feel so easy.

i’m feeling really shaken and could use some honest perspective.
i used to think i was infertile, so i let men i was seeing come inside me. one of them was this guy i’m talking about now. we stopped talking when he got a girlfriend. later, i was with another guy, he came inside me, and i got pregnant. after that, i knew to never let another guy finish in me again.
i had an abortion, but i didn’t necessarily want one. i felt like i was in a situation i didn’t want to be in, and i didn’t want to become a mom, so i went through with it. it took a huge toll on me mentally and emotionally. i was so sad and genuinely not okay. it was traumatic for me, and i still feel regret and sadness about it sometimes.
recently, i hooked up with the first guy again. before we had sex, i told him what happened. i specifically told him he couldn’t come inside me anymore because i had gotten pregnant, and explained how traumatic the abortion had been for me. he seemed to understand. the first time we had sex after that conversation, he didn’t come inside me.
yesterday, we had sex again. he said he was about to come, but i didn’t think i needed to remind him not to come inside me because i had already made that clear. a few minutes later, i felt something and asked him, “did you just come inside me?” at first he said no, he didn’t. i told him, “yes, you did. i can literally feel it.” then he said it was an accident. he also gave me different explanations, including that he didn’t know, but i had already told him not to do it and explained why before.
i started freaking out. i felt so scared because i immediately thought about how awful and traumatic the last pregnancy and abortion were for me. i felt like i might pass out from the anxiety. i took plan b, which he offered to buy, but i am definitely already ovulating. not only can i tell, but it’s also on my flo app. he seemed to think that if he came inside me, he could just give me plan b afterward. i don’t think he understood that it may not work the same way if ovulation has already happened, and i don’t think he should have made that choice for me in the first place.
i know i’m not using birth control right now, so in a way im giving these men too much power. i tried to go on non hormonal but i couldn’t do to my past of pelvic inflammatory disorder, and i’m trying to figure out what option is right for me. i don’t think i could do hormonal birth control because its effects on the body. but aside from that. i had already told him clearly that he couldn’t finish inside me. i feel violated and scared, and i don’t know if i’m overreacting. am i? what should i do?

I am an attractive 24 year old female and I haven’t had sex in 4 years. It is not like I haven’t had the chance to, men are attracted to me and I go on dates. I just haven’t had ssx in so long that the longer I go, the scarier it is to do it again. I feel self conscious that guys will be able to tell when I finally do hook up with someone again. I recently started seeing someone and want to have sex with him but am feeling super nervous. Can guys easily tell when it’s been a while?

My partner seems really into sex and extreme horny constantly but she is always pretty dry I didn’t know if it was because she wasn’t as intrested or it’s a me issue I didn’t speak to her and she said it’s just like that for some people but I’ve been with girls and there super wet before I’ve even gotten down there with my tongue is it just a sake of everyone diffrent or is it something I’m overthinking early 20s

I’ve noticed I’ve had intrusive thoughts during sex that started with a new partner who is now my gf of 2 years and the love of my life. At first I thought it was anxiety, but now it feels like my mind just wants feed me intrusive thoughts to ruing the moment, this happens while I’m initiating. Once I fight off the thoughts and make it to penetration they go away and I’m fully focused on what I’m doing.

I’m really bad at online dating and maybe just meeting men in general. I’ve always been very sex obsessed been wanting to do it since I was like 16 but just had a lot of mental barriers before (mostly around self confidence) now I’m moved out feeling very independent and been struggling with the idea of doing something a little unconventional but kinda worried it’s a bad idea.

You see my problem is I get too in my head when it comes to meeting up with men online or even at a bar. I’ve had a few experiences that have really made me uncomfortable. Also unfortunately often times I feel men I’m into aren’t into me and men who are into me I’m really not into.

I feel like wanting it so bad but also not doing it for so long (for myself) has mad me just kinda afraid to approach it.

So for the past couple of years I’ve toyed with the idea of going to a sex club and just doing it with a random. And most recently have even been thinking maybe on a drug like coke or mdma but I don’t know. Anyone have an experience similar who can comment or any advice.

Side note I’m a romantic at heart yes. But I also like the idea of random hookups and FWB but the initial going into it talking with a man feeling safe to tell him I’m a virgin and all that makes me overthink too much! So I’m trying to think of ways to circumvent that all as safely as possible for my first “few” times maybe. And I’ve heard some sex clubs can be super safe. We have 2 in my city and I’ve heard many peoples experiences there be safe and comfortable.

My girlfriend and I want to improve our intimacy and make our sessions feel more passionate and connected, ideally spending around 40 minutes on foreplay/intimacy rather than rushing things.

For couples who have experience with this:

- What helps make foreplay feel more intense without becoming uncomfortable?

- How do you communicate what feels good in the moment?

- Are there particular positions/angles that tend to be more pleasurable for both partners?

- Any tips for keeping things exciting and comfortable for the whole time?

Looking for genuine advice from experienced couples, especially around mutual pleasure and communication.

I’ve had one relationship in my life that lasted two years back in uni, and we couldn’t have penetrative sex at all because I had phimosis and it was super duper painful when we tried. We just stuck to making out, oral and toys as well as a LOOOT of cuddling and non sexual intimacy. I couldn’t get treated as health insurance was an issue for me back then. My ex could only get off to oral anyway so she didn’t feel it was an issue.

Fast forward I’m a working professional now and I finally got the issue fixed earlier this year(adult circumcision). But I’m still not really comfortable with penetrative sex and honestly I think it may take me a while to come around on this. I need to really feel safe, loved, and comfortable before I commit to doing that with a woman and I can’t really provide a guarantee or timeline on when that might happen. For me building a deep emotional connection is an absolute necessity first.

I guess all this to say is that I’d like to be in a relationship where penetrative sex isn’t a constant expectation at least initially, and one where a lack of penetrative sex doesn’t lead to my GF feeling rejected or miserable and ultimately lead to the demise of the relationship. I’m more than happy to engage in everything else, honestly for me cuddling is probably my favorite thing to do with a partner because it feels special beyond comparison :) And when I say cuddling I mean cuddling just for the sake of cuddling not cuddling that has to lead to anything else. And no I wouldn’t consider myself asexual just someone who needs a lot of time love and trust before this particular act.

My concern is that my friends say the vast majority of women would find me to be a dealbreaker and I’m kinda concerned they’re right. I mean I get it, penetrative sex is super important to most people and is kind of a must in a relationship, but is it really that dire for me? I’m just concerned and also don’t wanna waste women’s time.

Anyways given my unique situation I thought it’d be cool to open this up to some discussion.

My gf an I (M) are both in our 20s. We've been together for more than a year. From the start she made clear there would be no sex for at least a while. She said she had trouble talking about it. I assumed she had traumas related to that and I accepted it. I've never seen her naked or even in underwear. We still have physical touch and make outs tho. A few months after the start of the relationship, we started having more heated makeout sessions where she basically used me to have orgasms. It's fully clothed and I kiss her and touch her boobs or thighs but nothing more. She touches my back or arms and kisses me. But the sexual perspective stops there for me. During our relationship she mentioned she's had sex with her exes and she mentions sexual attraction towards women too. She's Bisexual so it's not a surprise. But she never mentions sexual attraction towards me. She made clear that she had an issue with men's body. But she can't talk about the topic because it makes her cringe. I started questioning myself because we still have our heated moments and she mentions sex sometimes. I'm okay with no sex at all but I fear I'm being used. She's really hot and I love her so having those moments with her is almost torture. I'm torn between keeping satisfying her and stopping because I still want her to feel good. I'm also afraid I'm an asshole and not respecting her boundaries for expecting reciprocation but I don't know if it's wrong to feel that way. And I don't know if I'm wrong to expect things to evolve

tldr: my gf and I don't have proper sex but she uses me for her pleasure

My partner and I are a little out of sync sexually. I generally want sex more often than he does, which honestly isn’t a huge issue. He’s completely comfortable telling me to go sort myself out when he’s not feeling it, and I’m completely happy to do that 😂

BUT HERE IS MY PROBLEM.

If there’s a decent chance he’s going to want sex later, I would MUCH rather wait for him.

So sometimes I’m sitting there horny AF thinking… do I wait? Is something happening later? Am I wasting perfectly good horniness waiting for a man who is going to go to sleep? 😂

Meanwhile I’ve waited long enough that I’m reaching the point of: sir, I need an ETA. Are you planning on fucking me later or do I need to take matters into my own hands? 😅

Obviously I can just ask him...and I do but I’m genuinely curious how other higher-libido women/couples handle this.

Do you ask outright if sex is likely later? Have some kind of signal? Just masturbate whenever you want and if sex happens later, round two? 😂 Do you “save it” if you think your partner might be keen?

Please tell me other couples have horny logistics meetings too 😂

In the classical age in the 1980s - 1990s porn movies usually had a plot to bring the actors together. Sometimes the story was engaging, funny, or obvious satire - from a mainstream movie.

However that has dissappeared and now the models hardly even say a few words which leaves me emotionally empty.

The only exception is Missax which does heve long stories but there must be others

Personally I enjoy Penny Barber.

Any suggestions?

As a woman, I generally only orgasm from clitoral stimulation, but sometimes when having sex with my partner it feels AMAZING. Like maybe I could orgasm from penetration/I understand how some women can.

I first experienced it during cowgirl (but lying on his chest), and so we did that a lot because it was so good. But then it started going back to “normal” (feeling “it” but not feeling pleasure exactly?) I have also occasionally gotten it from missionary. It also seems to be random, with some days being normal and others being great. But it’s been months since we’ve had sex (riding or otherwise) that felt like that, and I miss it 😢. It’s not the biggest deal to me, but it would be great to be on the same level as him during intercourse.

To note: We generally always do foreplay (making/eating out, mutual masturbation, fingering, etc.) and we have great communication, so while ofc me being aroused would play a part in the feeling of sex, we have had sex while I’ve been really turned on and it still feels like nothing.

I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this and if anyone has worked out a way to make sex be awesomesauce more often. Thank you!!

Also a bonus question: Do others struggle with things going from feeling great to meh within a few minutes of the act (sex or eating out or anything else)?