u/blood_reader

My boyfriend really likes to go down on me, but he doesn't really know how to. He's still new to this, and I am too, so I try my best to guide him and direct him but he's terrible at following directions.

I'd prefer he stays on my clit but he gets lost EVERY TIME. Like your face is right there, look for it. He also finds it difficult to get air down there (totally understandable) and constantly suffocates, but when he comes up for air, everything I've built up is gone. His jaw also gets tired very quickly. I've asked him if he can try to strengthen or train his jaw on his free time or when he's home, but it seems he just doesn't at all.

I just feel kinda down about this. He's still learning, and I understand that, but it's been over a year. Plus I ALWAYS make him cum from oral, and he enjoys it a lot. There is a significant gap in our skills, even though we started to learn and experiment at the same time. The thing is he really wants to get better and he feels bad when he performs badly, but he doesn't take the initiative to practice or anything. I gave up at some point because I was just so sick and unsatisfied, but I still let him go down on me to practice, cuz you don't get better without practice.

I just get sad about it because the sex isn't good either and he doesn't know how to rub or finger me. So usually after we are done with the deed and he finishes, I get back in bed and just use my vibe until I finish (or sometimes I'll have him use it on me if he would like. But even then, he doesn't put it in the right areas or keep it where I want it even after I've given him directions).

Note: when I do stuff for him he always finishes and has a good time.

My boyfriend (19M) and I (19F) have been together for a little over a year now. We had been each other's first everything (relationship, kiss, date, fuck...) so we were both virgins. But even so, I was and still am more sexually experienced than him, in theory. Everything was great when we first got together and made love for the first time. And even before then, I was a heavy masturbator (idk u know what I mean). For the first couple of months, we were so excited and were wanting to explore each other and ourselves. But coming around to the past 6 or so months, it's felt somewhat underwhelming, plus the fact that it's just weird (if u catch my drift..). This is a tale of incompatibility, confusion, and unsatifaction:

My boyfriend is by default submissive, and also likes a finger or 3 up his ass. He's talked about wanting to be pegged, but I'm somewhat uncomfortable with that. Although I do finger him sometimes, because I'd like for him to get what he wants and feel pleased as well.

I am ALSO submissive, and I'd prefer he be the dominant one, but every time he tries, it just feels so unnatural. This is partially because he is smaller than me. Not shorter, just thinner and weaker, so it feels super stupid when he switches. I also feel like I would be more comfortable being dominant if he was bigger and or stronger than me. But as of now, it just feels like he's my GIRLFRIEND and not my BOYFRIEND. Respectfully it feels as if I'm dating a twink. (I love twinks, just not as my boyfriend)

DESCRIPTION: he's 5'5 115lbs with long, chest length hair (I love his hair and will only date guys with long hair). He OFTEN gets mistaken for a girl in public (because he looks androgynous and is literally gorgeous), and people sometimes shout homophobic slurs at us 🫩 but I don't care about the slurs

I've told him that I don't really feel comfortable with doing stuff like that, and that I prefer to be submissive, and he's so so understanding and tries his best to be "what I want". But when he thinks of it like that, he feels pressured and thinks that he's not what I want. What I want is him. Just him. However he is, as long as it's him. So I'm super attracted to him, and I try to let him know that as often as possible.

We aren't vanilla, but we do like to have vanilla sex with a few twists and turns and gadgets I guess. But there are SO MANY MORE ISSUES. His stamina is terrible, although it's understandable. He finishes before it even really starts to get good for me. And he also gets soft in the middle of sex ):which is so upsetting for the both of us, because I feel inadequate and he feels pressured. I also used to feel so much more at the beginning of the relationship, but now it just feels like friction in my vagina:(

Note: Other than this, our relationship is perfect. He is kind, loving, and genuinely the most caring person I've ever met. He treats me like a queen, no matter what. And he is incredibly loyal.

TLDR: My bf is a sub and I am too, but he is too awkward of a dom for me. Our sex is bad and just super sad, and I often want to cry after. He only lasts 4 mins and often gets soft during it. He also likes butt stuff (done to him) but that makes me uncomfortable because of his size (of his body). Idk am I terrible? What should I do?

Edit: I did not force him. We often communicate and try to meet in the middle.