r/TraditionalMuslims

Salaam Alaikum

I know there is no consensus on this, but particularly online there is a lot of disagreement over what constitutes specifically a woman’s Awrah. The most common (not necessarily most correct) view that I’ve heard is that we should cover everything except face and hands. I also hear that due to the times we live in it’s become Fardh to wear niqab, but I haven’t really seen scriptural or scholarly reasons for why this is the case. Some go further in covering the eyes and hands also. I guess my question is in two parts,

1: what are the scriptural and scholarly bases for each of these claims? And

2: Which is best to practice in the west today?

Thank you all for your time and I hope you’re having a good day.

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

I’m a developer, and I’m trying to build tech that actually solves real problems for the Ummah. Right now, the Muslim tech space feels completely stuck. We have a hundred duplicate apps that all do the exact same thing (like basic prayer apps or halal directories), and I'm honestly not interested in wasting my time building more of that.

I want to know about and understand the actual problems you guys face day-to-day that deserve real technical solutions.

I want to hear from anyone here — whether you're an employee, a business owner, a student, or just a regular user. If you have a recurring, frustrating problem in your life or industry and you know it desperately needs a better tool or piece of software, drop it in the replies.

My goal is to figure out exactly what our community actually needs built, however difficult it may be to engineer. If we can spark an idea here that actually fixes a bottleneck, it could be a massive sadaqah jariyah for anyone who contributes.

Let me know what you're dealing with.

جزاكم الله خيرا

Salams all, my ISO profile is below. If this post is up assume I am still looking:

1. Age and Gender - 28, male. 175cm and gym fit.
2. Age Range that you would want/require in a prospect - 18 - 40, open for the right person.
3. Location, and are you willing to relocate for a prospect? Sydney, Australia. Not willing to relocate, looking for someone local.
4. Ethnicity, and are you more open to mixing? Palestinian Arab, open to mixing.
5. Marital Status - Single/Divorced/Children. Separated, no children. I am open to someone who is divorced, separated, or has children.
6. Ideal marriage timeline. 6 - 12 months.
7. Five important characteristics you look for in a prospect. Traditional, deen, intellect, good communication, and respect.
8. State/specify your level of religiosity. Moderately practising, I do the fards, and focus on the spiritual and intellectual aspects of Islam. I volunteer a lot of time helping with community initiatives, as I am passionate about them.
9. Level of education, and what are you looking for? Masters. Prefer someone educated but open for any level of education.
10. Current Job Status. Lawyer and business owner. I make good money hamdulilah.
11. Do you want kids? Yes, but if you already have kids and do not want more I am okay with that too.
12. List 3 hobbies, or things you like to do in your spare time. Gym, reading, walking, coffee and food (big foodie), TV shows and movies, learning about Islam, political activism and community initiatives. I try to balance between my business, relationships, and hobbies.
13. Add something short and interesting about you that makes you stand out! I am looking for someone traditional orientated, I believed strongly in being the leader, provider, and protector. I value a woman that has her own hobbies, career, ideas, and identity. I wont tell you what to do or change who you are, but I do like to take the lead and be the dominant person in the relationship, I have those qualities and it is part of my personality. I am open to non-conventional marriages, e.g. polygamy, marrying a divorcee with children, people who dont want children etc. Ideally you have the same view about relationships. I prefer someone mature and open minded. Someone that has experience and understands relationships are hard work, and require effort from both parties, based on Islam and the duties of both husband and wife.

i have tried fasting to lower my gaze but it doesn’t work, marriage is the last option I have but i don’t believe in love.

The only reason I would ever believe someone would settle for me is because they couldn’t get or find someone better but there will always be someone better.

I wonder if it’s halal to take steroid with intention to decrease my libido but i’m pretty scared of heart attack.

Anas ibn Malik RA reported: The Messenger of Allah, pbuh, said, “Paradise is surrounded by difficulties, and Hellfire is surrounded by desires.”

Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2822

This authentic Hadith warns that the path to Paradise requires Islamic education, patience and self-discipline to overcome hardships. In contrast, the path to Hellfire is paved with convenience, lack of Islamic education, forbidden temptations and desires.

Paradise: It is surrounded by makarih (things the self dislikes or finds burdensome). This includes acts of worship, maintaining patience, controlling one's temper, self-restraint, following commandments and sacrificing comfort for the sake of Allah that feels difficult, heavy, or unpleasant to one's natural desires, but ultimately lead to spiritual reward and Paradise.

In Arabic, بِالْمَكَارِهِ (pronounced bil-makārih) translates to hardships, difficulties, adversities, tribulations, trials or unpleasant things. It is the plural form of makrahah (مَكْرَهَة), which refers to something that is disliked, detested, or causes displeasure.

Hellfire: It is surrounded by shahawat (desires, lusts, and temptations). Giving in to base impulses, indulging in forbidden pleasures, desires and avoiding spiritual duties makes this path deceptively easy and appealing.

The saying serves as a reminder to learn about Islam, practice restraint in this life, as the gratification of desires leads to severe spiritual consequences.

The women of the families my parents tried to contact arent interested in marriage, because they would rather go to school.

I think overall in the west, there is just no incentive structure for women to marry. To women the idea of being obedient to their husband isnt desirable, so they rather be obedient to their employer.

Men do not want to be responsible and protect a woman that doesnt allow the man to have authority over her.

The perfect compromise is having a boyfriend/girlfriend and zina.

Noone has to obey anyone, and noone has to be responsible over or protect anyone. Only fun, no strings attached. Anyone can leave and go for the next, whenever.

This is why zina is normalized, because the environment incentivizes it.

People say that there are too many women available for marriage, compared to men, while in reality only a very small number of girls are actually practicing, actually religious and good suitable spouses

Narrated Anas: The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

ثَلاَثٌ مَنْ كُنَّ فِيهِ وَجَدَ حَلاَوَةَ الإِيمَانِ أَنْ يَكُونَ اللَّهُ وَرَسُولُهُ أَحَبَّ إِلَيْهِ مِمَّا سِوَاهُمَا، وَأَنْ يُحِبَّ الْمَرْءَ لاَ يُحِبُّهُ إِلاَّ لِلَّهِ، وَأَنْ يَكْرَهَ أَنْ يَعُودَ فِي الْكُفْرِ، كَمَا يَكْرَهُ أَنْ يُقْذَفَ فِي النَّارِ

“Anyone who possesses the (following) three qualities will have the sweetness of faith: (1) That Allah and His Messenger become dearer to him than anything else. (2) That he loves a person and he loves him only for Allah’s Sake. (3) That he hates to return to kufr as he hates to be thrown into the Fire.”

[Bukhari and Muslim]

"Scholars will say dancing itself has nothing wrong, and is halal --> therefore going to the club and getting your freak on is halal"

That's basically the line of reasoning many use when promoting pursuing degrees. Actually even worse, because they portray the pursuit of degrees and careers as a noble act.

In reality everyone knows it's practically haram. The free mixing, the fahisha, the riba, prioritization of degrees/career over pursuing family.

Let's be honest, they're not pursuing Islamic knowledge, which is primarily what knowledge in Islam refers to. They're not just trying to be alimas. Even if they are, which do you think Islam says to prioritize: a career or marriage and family?

Because today we're realizing women can't have both. Marriage rates are plummeting, birth rates are falling. In this instance as a woman if you first run to get your degrees, then it's clear which you prioritize.

Again not to mention the riba, which is the case for the majority of students in the west, which is a sin worse than zina, it's literally waging war with Allah.

So for women to opt for this, where the reason is primarily desires, then the sin is much worse. For men, the reason they pursue careers is so they can get married, because the women in our community select for it, and require financial stability. Men don't care about women's financial status.

Go on any of the marriage sites, even the serious ones, and you'll see hoardes of young men looking to marry, whereas barely any young women, mostly women 30+ and divorcees.

This is my first time posting here.

I'm male with a stable job. I have been saving for marriage, mainly to buy an apartment or build a house one day.

There is a girl I studied with at university. Her mother used to ask me to take care of her when we were going back home from university, so that's how I got to know her. I first developed feelings for her. She is very kind, very sensitive, doesn't really have friends, doesn't like crowded places, and she wears hijab.

Back in school I used to help her study, and by the end I graduated first in my school. As time passed, my feelings became stronger. I eventually told her how I felt, but I also asked her to forget about it until the day I come properly to her parents' house , and she agreed. That was a long time ago.

The reason I still haven't gone is because her family is richer than mine. Alhamdulillah, my family is doing fine, but not at the same level as hers. I also wanted to own a home first, but with today's economy that feels almost impossible. I work a full-time job as a software developer, do freelance work, and also take contract jobs. Between my savings and investments I've managed to save around $40k, but nowadays that doesn't really get you very far.

The point is that lately I've been feeling overwhelmed. I'm afraid that lust might eventually push me toward something haram. Not with this girl, of course, but I'm afraid of falling into sins like visiting a bad places or something similar. The strange thing is that I really try to stay firm in my deen. I spend a lot of time reading and learning about Islam, and honestly I don't know why these feelings are becoming so overwhelming.

I try not to stay alone too much. I only go outside when I need to. I avoid looking at other women and try my best to lower my gaze. Even when I go out, I finish what I need to do and come straight back home. I don't watch movies or anything that shows women unnecessarily. Yet despite all of that, I still feel overwhelmed.

I know it's probably normal because of my age and hormones, but I'm honestly tired. How do I deal with this?

I really want to marry this girl, take care of her in a halal way, and stay faithful. Sometimes these feelings become so strong that I cry because I feel like I'm losing control. I even stopped spending time with some of my friends because they constantly talked about women's and objectified them, and I didn't want that to influence me.

In my free time I cook, take care of my plants, play chess, and do boxing. I also go to the gym from time to time. Most of the time I keep myself busy. I'm trying to start a business as well. I read books about fiqh and about how our Prophet ﷺ and the Sahabah treated their families. I also do charity work whenever I can.

Please make du'a that Allah keeps me firm. I really love who I'm becoming. I want to give my love to one person only and keep becoming a better version of myself for her.

There is no contact between me and the girl. I only have her parents' phone number and I know where they live.

The only thing holding me back is wanting to become a little more stable financially. I'm also afraid that everything could collapse, that I could lose everything I've worked for, and that it would affect her life. I don't want to bring her into a situation where I can't provide for her or give her the kind of life and security that her father has given her.

Jazakum Allahu khayran for reading, and may Allah make things easy for everyone seeking marriage.