r/TraditionalMuslims

You know, majority of what the women are complaining about on social media is that they didn't get a G wagon for Mahr, or the wedding wasn't 200k wedding, or that she didn't go to Switzerland for her honeymoon etc etc. Majority is superficial things.

We see this time and time, of how shallow and superficial the Modern woman is. You know the funny part? This only exists in the West.

As a man in my mid 20s aH I had the opportunity to travel to 40 + countries in 5 continents, (the OGs of the sub know, and I've written extensively regarding my travels in the past accounts which are all banned Lol) a big reality check I've seen was in Peru.

Beautiful girls, 9/10 selling clothing on the street, or helping out a family business and running a juice stand, or working as a cashier, and these girls can literally be models, but I found out apparently Peru is a very conservative society some parts of it, and they're very tightly grounded on religion. And majority of them, they marry their own men, and not outside of their culture. Which was interesting to see.

If this was the same woman in America, she's be offered only fans and just like that she'll quit her job, and sell it.

And regarding the Muslim women, for them is to display herself, post thirst traps in trying to attract some rich Muslim influencer so he can "marry her."

When a society like the West, has given a woman everything, a point comes that the caretaker of the woman is not a man anymore, rather it's the government. Anything which happens to her, she can go to the government, get a paycheck from them, and or receive any kind of help.

And when the government is taking care of her basic needs, like food, water and shelter, at this point she needs something crazy and crazier to be attracted by. When she has seen it or has done it "all" the average man will never attract her anymore, and by definition she now will become superficial.

After traveling quite a bit, while other societies are heading towards it of becoming superficial and materialistic because of social media influence, America, Canada, and all of Western Europe it is THE most superficial places on Earth including the UAE.

Everything here is judged by $$. I thought I was doing decent last year for my age made almost 200k after taxes. This year scaling my business to 300k and I still feel like I'm far behind many, and it's never ever enough. Well, comparison is the thief of joy.

The conclusion is, when it comes to the West, the father's of these women came back in the '80s and '90s, when the economy was very good, they bought the houses and did the businesses for cheap back then, and now these same houses and these same families net worth are in the millions range, and she didn't have to work a day in her life for all this inherited wealth, so this is why the modern woman has no value or regard for the man in anything. She got everything in the plate, and even if she didn't, majority of men will give her whatever, and the government is also their to save the day.

Combined with the handouts from the government, and society which tells women, "You don't need any man, except for D, and girl boss babes" etc, this has made women even more superficial. Yes, it truly only exists in the West.

Go out to some small town in Peru. You'd be astonished at the most hottest girls actually working at a juice stand without being stuck up or having attitude, whereas a 4-5 in the West will not even look at you, thinking she's all that.

The world, and majority of people have become very shallow now. Finding or making good friends now is rare. Everything is judged by, what you do, how much you're worth, what car/watch you have, how many followers you have on SM etc etc. The true friendships even have long gone now.

And for majority of men, finding a decently grateful woman? Good luck. The world while people may think has "progressed" has only gone went more shallower.

And the worst part? All this glitz and glamour, and show off, and, "what he, she/society will think of me" only to find out that once you die, you'll be forgotten in 5 minutes, and then one will get the true reality check. Only your deeds matter then.

It's a reminder for us all, that in today's shallow world to never forget our ultimate purpose and who truly we all have to please. And that is Allah swt our Creator.

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Aleykumu salam everyone, So I am in highschool, and there is a boy I am good with and share many interests. We only talked in class and would often laugh and i find his presence enjoyable, i think he enjoys it too. Looking at him he is fairly religious, he prays, is very knowledgeable about our religion, he recites Azzan in his local Mosque and last ramadan we prayed in school a lot in iftar time and he would lead our prayers. I kinda like him and think marriage would be possible one day. Only thing is that he smokes, often too with his friends. In school, outside of school. Vapes,cigarettes and so on. I hate smoking. Not only because i view it as haram but because i can't take it. My lungs are fairly sensitive due to issues when i was younger. He also listens to music, while i try to avoid it. I can't lie i loved to sing and still do, but i do think it's haram and i have been avoiding it alot. He loves music, a lot, even dances for our national country dance club. So...i am not sure if i am allowed to like him or if marriage with a guy like this is allowed. He is a muslim, and his knowledgeable can impress me sometimes. Smart academically too, has many skills and hobbies, we share tons of the same interest that i no one else does, inside jokes and so on. But these two things are making me question it. I am thinking maybe he can change. I asked him once if he would ever quit smoking and he said only if he find a girl and they really like eachother and she asks him to for her. I am maybe not that girl. But he is willing to change it. So I am not sure. Do you think even if we get closer later on and maybe do agree on marriage. Would i be allowed to pursue marriage with a man who does two things i consider haram?

I reverted my best frend about a year ago. I might start this but saying he is very religions he gave up music, pork for the most part dating. But every time I try to teach him Fatiha he just dosent get I tried so many different times but all he can string together is a broken version of the first ayah.

Eny advise

My frend is pretty liberal and he asked what Islams stance is in feminism is and I know not we’re not for it but I don’t know how to exactly explain it to him

If i ask this in any other Muslim subreddit theyre going to give generic vague answers like ‘whenever its written’ and ‘age is just a number’

Whilst everything is written, we can’t deny there are natural preferences for men and women and Islam isn’t against that

So men (and women welcome too) of the sub hit me with it. I am a 25 years old female feeling like im about to expire or may already have.

Just be real. Is it too late or getting in that category

Because ive been open to the idea of marriage for about 3 years now. I didn’t just start now. However when I talked to a potential once he asked why i wasn’t already married and i felt like i had to prove myself that at my old hag age why I haven’t gotten married and its like somethings wrong with me hence im still on the market.

Is this normal to ask btw bcos it made me feel real insecure

But yes. Oh Men of the subreddit, after what age do you suspect why isn’t this girl married, there’s something wrong hence why she isn’t taken already

I thought this wouldn’t be common thinking but unfortunately males even within my own family have such opinions that a girl in her late twenties (which im soon to be) is too late for marriage. Even my own brother, who I feel is a good man, turned a girl down because she was 29 and because he got suspicious why she was still unmarried

Dear Muslims of Reddit,

Please make dua for my father. He has been falsely accused of money laundering and fraud. People are trying very hard to involve him in something he has not done, and it feels like even the system is against him.

He is 65 years old, and he is my only support and protector in this life. I am disabled and will be undergoing a critical surgery this month. It breaks my heart knowing he cannot be with me during this difficult time, and I know he is feeling helpless and worried as well.

I humbly ask you all to make sincere dua that Allah reveals the truth as soon as possible, clears his name, and reunites him with our family quickly.

When I was injured, he made dua for me in the mosque. Now I am trying to do the same for him in every way I can.

May Allah reward you all for your دعا and kindness.

ولا حول ولا قوة إلا بالله

I live in India and anywhere i go people just any unfriendly it openly poke me, I'm instagram, in real life, i just saw the minister of Poland labeling muslims as terr0r!sts and many more.... I'm fed up, i just want to spend my life in peace and be happy.

I'm really stressed because of it all

قَالَ الْحَسَنُ:

الدُّنْيَا ثَلَاثَةُ أَيَّامٍ: أَمَّا أَمْسِ فَقَدْ ذَهَبَ بِمَا فِيهِ، وَأَمَّا غَدٌ فَلَعَلَّكَ لَا تُدْرِكُهُ، وَالْيَوْمُ لَكَ فَاعْمَلْ فِيهِ.

Al‑Ḥasan said:

“The world is three days: as for yesterday, it has gone with all that was in it; as for tomorrow, perhaps you will not reach it; and today is yours, so act in it.”

كلام الليالي والأيام لابن أبي الدنيا (١/٤٠)

Tell me a time where you prayed for the impossible and aced/passed your exam. An exam miracle by Allah SWT.

Also, I have given a life changing exam, awaiting results. I want to humbly request you that you make dua for me that I get into my dream college. JazakAllah!

Mid twenties female. Grew up in the West in a strict practicing conservative Muslim family. Alhamdulillah

Maybe a little too strict but its a scary world out there i guess. I spent the first half of my twenties sheltered, covered, modest, shyed away from men both irl and online. I donned myself in both the hijab and abaya and even dabbled in niqab. Whilst living in the West. Even wore the abaya to work. When men pass by me in the street I lower my gaze. When a man DM’d me i either didnt respond or simply told them I don’t speak to men.

I did this for His sake yes. But did part of me want that maybe, just maybe, if I stay this modest, I will get the recompensed of that in another practicing modest spouse? Yes of course

And so i spent the early part of my twenties waiting a suitor to knock on my door. But that knock never came. And no there isn’t anything ‘wrong’ with me. I am educated, practicing and not bad looking. Won’t go into specifics bcos i know the creeps on here so don’t message me either.

I thought i would leave it to the family. As good practicing women do. That those who find their spouse themselves, who ‘date’, who accept approaches and DMs from men were ‘bad women’. Yet its those women who got married the earliest!

And don’t say ‘no barakah in the marriage’. Please theyre on their second kid and whatnot

I wasted my prime. Thinking this shyness would get me far. If i could tell younger me something it would be to not be so prudish. That this world doesn’t care if you’re modest and shy. You gotta put yourself out there else you’re going to be in your mid-late twenties realising you wasted precious time on your high horse, that all the good fellas are taken and the ones that are left want younger than you.

I wish i utilised my earlier time, in college when there was a pool. I should have put myself out there more. I should have accepted those DMs. All that preserving for what? Some imaginary suitor that never came

Obviously in Islam men have more power. But I often see men use this to sort of throw it in women’s faces harshly. Yes I understand there are many feminists and I don’t agree with them but also, Allah gave you this power and you should use it responsibly. You have the right to stop your spouse from leaving the house, you have the right to divorce more easily, you physically have more power, you have the right to not let your spouse work and also you aren’t required to provide above the minimum, you have the right to get a second wife, you have the right to where you live and your wife must go with you. And that’s all fine , but be mindful of how you use that power.

I see men say things like “if she did xyz ill divorce her” or boasting how they can get multiple wives or encouraging secret wives or not wanting her to work but also not be generous with what you make and say “well technically i provide the minimum” and never get her a gift or act like if a wife ever refuses intimacy even once she’s automatically a horrible Muslim. Yes we know halal and haram but if you go about things in a very rigid way of “oh its halal so ill do it” or “well she did this haram thing so she deserves how i treat her” like such a rigid way of life , that isn’t how marriage is supposed to be.

I am NOT encouraging doing haram. I’m saying just because you’re allowed to do something , just because something is halal, does not always mean you should do it without thinking of consequences (if that halal thing is optional) and just because a woman may have flaws, or may some times sin, doesn’t automatically mean she’s a horrible wife.

I’m not denying any Hadith, im not denying any ruling, and I’m not denying a man and woman has rights. I’m just saying calm down, don’t go about things in such a harsh and rigid way. As men you’re leaders. Imagine how scary a women would feel when she marries a man like this. If men constantly go around saying in such a harsh tone “a woman must obey! A man can have a secret second wife! A woman can never leave without my permission” while never mentioning how you will treat her well, care for her, do extra things for her and just acting like you’re going to be this mean scary controlling person, you are steering women away from Islam! It’s almost like some men talk in a way that sounds more harsh because want to make women upset. Again I’m not denying anything from Islam. But women are more emotional and you can word things in Islam in a kinder way and you can be a leader while still being reasonably flexible and considering her feelings. For example, yes your wife needs to move where ever you move but that doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to hear her out and consider her opinion even though you have the final say.

Men also have to remember in Islam you should treat women kindly. If you are harsh with us, we will break. “Act kindly towards women, for they were created from a rib, and the most crooked part of a rib is its uppermost. If you attempt to straighten it; you will break it, and if you leave it alone it will remain crooked; so act kindly toward women”

A lot of men who are this way are also just immature or watch too much red pill content that make them think “I have to be mean to women”. Usually the traditional Muslim men that are mature, understand that they have power and rights and that they should use it wisely while considering their wife’s feelings. YES there is a power imbalance between the genders. There is nothing wrong in that. There’s a power imbalance between a mother and child as well. But in both cases, use your power responsibly.