It’s strange how easy it is to spend years working toward something because you assume it’ll make you happy, successful, or fulfilled. Then you finally get close to it—or actually get it—and realize it wasn’t what you wanted at all.
I think it's a kind of "choosing which fight to pick.". But IRL, it is already difficult enough to change someone's opinion, and it is IMO even more difficult online. Here and on reddit people have the distance, the anonymous aspect, and the hivemind to avoid taking accountability.
People are rarely here to change, but to argue, humiliate, rattle, and bark around.
I know and I have seen some of the craziest cases of hypocrisy, bullying, and vile takes, but no matter how right you feel, or actually is right, and how wrong they are, I don't think they're going to listen when a laptop or a phone is hiding them.
I am talking to you and to myself because I have been told to have a strong sense of justice and sadly you can't make justice online where rules and voices are distorted. I was shocked that even the "wokest" or the "first world problem" users could stoop so low and feel no wrong in jumping from one comment making fun of someone's mental health to then being outraged at a celebrity being wronged.
Many humans care about the cause, but they care less about the people. And no matter how OBVIOUS their bias and hypocrisy are, no matter how vile and cruel their words are, they won't notice no matter how many comments and posts you make about it.
There is a common assumption that a person cannot have narcissistic traits if they spend their time taking care of others and sacrificing for their family. Because caregiving is genuinely exhausting and hard work, people often view the act of caretaking as automatic proof that someone isn't self-serving, but can caregiving and narcissistic behavior actively exist at the same time, or does the act of taking care of others actually disprove those traits?
I'm not even sure that there's such a thing, but I feel like I'm not interested in life itself, it goes deeper than procrastination or fear of failure. I feel like nothing sparks my interest anymore, even when I play a game and it poses me against some kind of challenge, I just don't feel the desire to do the work to overcome that challenge. Now I must say I'm not sad, I don't hate existence, I just play along when it's necessary, but other than that every activity that people do just doesn't spark any joy (dating, hooking up, gaming, learning a skill.....), other than reddit and YouTube I don't have social media because it feels like social noise and emotional pollution.
One might ask: then what do you do all day? I just play Sims half mindedly and listen to podcasts without paying much attention, I'm not even sure what to call that.
My understanding is that flock can basically track a car which opens up a lot of ways it can be misused, stalking comes to mind.
But if a road rage shooting would to occur, being able to find out where the car has been would be helpful.
Is the tradeoff not worth it since there are so many ways to track a car?(I'm just guessing IDK how it's done in the states) Would it be enough that a warrant would be required to access the data? Or in your mind, there is no middle ground possible and the flock has gotta go?
We consciously and unconsciously generate good and bad deeds. Not being in a vacuum, these deeds branch out and present people with various moral choices as a result. There comes a point in which the initiator is free of moral responsibility regarding the outcome of their deeds' secondary effects. When do you think this break occurs?
My baby is turning 2 next month and a few weeks ago my mother and 2 of her family members harrassed my husband's family at thier home to ask questions about me. I'm responsible for protecting a lot of people here , not just myself, but my husband and child and my husband's entire family. I'm ready to resort to restraining orders. Share some stories and tips with me about how you've had to protect your loved ones from your families.
Michael Crichton, in his book: Tineline
Is the first, that i know of, to show the audience how a wormhole would work by folding a piece of paper in half. This concept can be seen through many current age sci-fi movies that it's become a trope. I'm assuming during his research for his novel some scientist explained it to him that way, but he was the first to show the world this concept through a form of media.
Does anyone know any other media that influenced the zeitgeist in some way yet went unnoticed by many?
Not asking hypothetically — genuinely trying to figure out if this is something normal people actually do or if it's riskier than it sounds. I keep hearing about people going to Mexico for dental work, surgery, even weight-loss procedures for a fraction of the US price.
If you've done this (anywhere, not just Mexico): what made you actually trust it enough to go through with it? And if you looked into it and decided against it, what changed your mind?
I was coming back from work with a friend today. It was raining, almost dark, and the road was pretty much empty. I was about to drop her off when a car suddenly came out of nowhere at what felt like full speed. It almost hit her. I pulled her towards me onto the sidewalk, but the car still clipped my elbow with the rear side. I got angry and yelled at them to stop. They didn't. They drove another 200–300 meters and then, for some reason, reversed back towards us.
The windows were completely tinted. The driver rolled his window down - looked like in his early 20s, and there were 4–5 other people in the car.
I asked him, "Don't you know how to drive???"
He didn't say anything.
He just pulled out what looked like a gun from his waist and started playing with it. He wasn't pointing it directly at me, but he was making damn sure I could see it. He then looked at my friend in a way that made me really uncomfortable, and then looked straight at me.
It was almost like he was saying, "what are you going to do about it?"
The others in the car were laughing - and honestly, my entire thought process changed in a second.
a few moments earlier I was angry and ready to confront him - now I was thinking, what happens if this actually escalates? what if that gun is real? what if I get shot? what happens to my family? Is this really worth it?
maybe he was bluffing - maybe the gun wasn't even real, but I couldn't know that, and there's no way you could have a rational argument with these kind of people.
So I backed off.
He gave me this weird smile, almost like he thought he'd won. Then he floored the car and drove away. I just stood there for a couple of minutes trying to process what had happened.
My friend was shaken and almost crying. I told her not to worry about it anymore. We're both okay and that's the best outcome you can have in any similar situation. I dropped her home and went back myself.
But ever since then, I can't stop thinking about it. Not even so much about the guy or the gun. It's more about how I reacted.
I know logically that walking away was probably the right thing to do - there was nothing to gain by confronting someone who might be armed and had 4–5 other people with him. But emotionally, I still feel like I was a coward.
There's this stupid voice in my head saying, "He was completely in the wrong. You should have stood up to him." And then another part of me says, "You got your friend home safely. You got yourself home safely. What exactly did you lose by walking away?"
I don't know.
Maybe I'm just still running on adrenaline and anger, but I'd genuinely like to hear from people who've been in similar situations.
Is walking away when you have something to lose actually cowardice? Or is knowing when not to fight one of the more difficult forms of self-control?
I've noticed that doing absolutely nothing has started to feel almost uncomfortable.
If I have a free Saturday and spend a few hours watching something, sitting outside, or just doing whatever I feel like, part of me starts thinking that I should be doing something more useful.
Exercise. Clean the apartment. Learn something. Work on a project. Plan the next week.
It's strange because free time is supposed to be the part of life where we don't have obligations, yet we've somehow created expectations for that time too.
Even hobbies sometimes seem to become projects. You can't just enjoy running; you track your progress. You can't just read; you set a yearly reading goal. You can't just cook; you try to get better at it.
I'm not saying goals are bad. I just wonder when simply enjoying time without improving anything started to feel like wasting it.
Do you think we've become too focused on making every part of our lives productive?
I shared this on LinkedIn but would like to hear your perspective.
What is wrong with being in the comfort zone??
I do not see anything wrong with being in the comfort zone.
Work hard in junior school and go to senior school, they said. It didn't stop there; work hard so you can go to university, they continued. Still, it wasn't enough. If you work hard and get a master's, it won't be so bad... That wasn't enough either... Maybe after getting a job and finally being independent should lock it in, right????..... Well, guess what!.. That wasn't enough either... You still have to get married, get children, build a home, buy a car, grow in your career, maybe get a promotion. I mean.... the list doesn't end... It goes on and on.... Maybe old age will be your saving grace.
This really got me thinking.... How about you continue until you are most comfortable and stop there? What is the worst that could happen if you stopped at a point you felt most fulfilled?
The system has programmed us NOT to get fulfilled, and if you do... you get judged and given reasons why you should never be comfortable in your "zone".
Your peers will flaunt achievements you haven't attained yet, and you will feel left behind for some reason; something that did not really matter to you will become the next target. Movies and social media will show you that there is more you need to achieve; your family, friends, and society will require you to do more. The goal post is always moving. We have been conditioned to compare ourselves so that you can burst your own bubble of joy... Always looking into the next "big thing," even if it is not big to you.
This has kept people in a constant state of worry. Not living in the moment where it is potentially all that you need. Forgetting the blessing you currently have, and instead of staying calm in gratitude, we stay in chaos chasing vanity! In the process, we forget that the illusion of comfort we chase in the future is here with us now.
To see how true this is... Search yourself within and, with all honesty, try to figure out that one thing the world has applauded you so much for, but you did not see the sense in it. Let's do this social experiment and see how the world has influenced us to NOT be in our "comfort zones."
I would also like to know your thoughts about this; feel free to share in the comment section.
August 18, 2026 - Originally posted on r/sadposting on the same day (today)
That's how old I'll be tomorrow. I've always looked forward to celebrating my birthday, and I still do. But this year, it feels a little different.
Usually, I have the full day on my birthday to have fun and engage in whatever celebration my family arranges for me. I'm forever grateful to them for all of that. But tomorrow, I'm not going to be free all day, because I have a shift at work that I accepted a couple weeks ago. My shift goes from 4 to 9 PM, so I will have the entire morning and first half of the afternoon to have some fun, but in the end, it still won't be the full day.
I'm sure if I wanted to, I could just call out of work tomorrow and give myself the entire day. But even if my co-workers and boss understood and let me have the day off, I still can't bring myself to call in because of how starved I've been this month for paychecks. Furthermore, I can't seem to shake off some somewhat minor-but-annoying unwanted thoughts from my head, but that's a whole other discussion I'd rather not share (not right now at least).
However, there is something I will admit. I know countless others that are my age or around it have made these kinds of statements before (even if not word-for-word), but I have so many mixed emotions about being a year older, and the most dominating ones are sorrow and nostalgia. I'm not necessarily saying I "regret" being somewhat eager to grow up when I was younger, like the rest of us, but at the same time, I have no idea how else to put it. I graduated college three months ago, and I've had a great summer, mixed with working, enjoying the typical summer activities, and spending time with friends and family.
But over these past few months, I never talked much to my family about what I wanted to do for my birthday. I told them to just surprise me with whatever kind of celebration they could come up with, and I would just see where it went from there. And now that my big day has creeped up, I'm starting to feel upset that I won't have the full day to have all the fun I want. I don't want to sound ungrateful, but I just can't seem to bring myself as much joy out of so many great things I have, as they did when I was younger.
I guess I just don't want to keep growing up. Not because I don't believe I can amount to anything, but because, in one way or another...I don't want to. To put in hard work at a real job, to get out of my own comfort zone, or even following my dreams of achieving notability in this life, feels like I have to give up so much of myself to the point where I can't enjoy the good things if they're not going to be around forever. I often wonder how much happier I'd be if I never had to prove anything to anyone, knowing that I wouldn't have to waste so much time pleasing others when I would rather enjoy loving myself. While it's not my intention to come off as selfish by saying that, I can't find any words that would make it sound non-selfish.
Bottom line, I miss being a kid. I crave to spend the rest of my days having fun with my inner child and being able to enjoy the things that make me feel good without thinking of others' perspectives of being afraid of judgement. Feeling these emotions and having these thoughts at such a time when I'm meant to look forward to celebration feels so unique to me, even though I'm not the only person in existence to experience it.
Even wrapping up this post, it feels like there's so much more I could say. If there's anything selfless about this message, I want it to be that anyone else that shares these same feelings and thoughts know that they are not alone. Bottling them up will only make you feel worse. I know it sounds cliche, but it's true. Whether you openly admit it or not, deep down, you know that every last one of us has these experiences, and there is nothing wrong with that. It shows how connected we are, and how much we mean to each other.
I'm still kinda struggling to lift up my own spirits, so if anyone would like to chip in with their own feedback, I'd like that a lot.
Thank you so much.
To such question I say "yes". But it is just an hypothesis.
Let's say you set yourself out to be kind to everyone you interact with, for a full day: say hello from you heart, wish others a nice day for real (not on automatic-mode), open the door to someone. All these out of nothing. Expecting nothing in return. Even openned to be ignored. Even seen suspiciously "nice". Just very little "10-second-episodes" of connection within and with others. Not as a stressful therapy daily task (please, don't do that to yourself)...Just chilled... cool... just for the sake of being kind.
Or deliverately choose to observe closely some...I don't know... flower, focus on a bird's song. Again: not telling yourself "I'm gonna feel good now" or "I'll get all possible details here". No. Much more simple: just sort of connecting with the flower or the sound. Ideally letting go of any thought. Being present, no mind chatter...
Would you say these (perhaps ridiculously small experiences) could add up to a more meaningful day? (not a meaningful life...)
Exactly as the title says. It's driving me crazy. Does anyone else here have parents who also don't believe that learning takes place outside of the traditional classroom?
Recently, I started looking into how to make coffee properly with the moka pot. I was tired of inconsistent brews that were mostly bitter. My mom was also getting tired of drinking her own bitter coffee. I figured that if there was any way to improve it, it would make life nicer for both of us.
We had been using the pot incorrectly for the past 3-4 years (flattening the grounds, using cold water, using the highest heat setting, closing the lid, and brewing it until it stops on its own; I know you coffee enthusiasts are shaking while reading this). I had school/work back then, so I never really paid much attention to it until now. I spent a few hours reading different guides and watching videos, and was excited to put these new methods and tips to the test.
The next day, while I was heating the water and watching the pot with the lid open, my mom went, "That's stupid, you believe in the internet too much." The brew ended up being delicious. No more bitterness. It's even smooth with sweet notes. She reluctantly admitted that "it wasn't bad".
However, the next few days and weeks, she would avoid drinking my brews. When she does drink it, she says stuff like, "I don't think it tastes that much different from before", or gets all mumbly about how home brews cost more than buying a cup at a chain if we factor in water/electricity/the grounds themselves.
I got very annoyed at this point, not because of how she views the coffee itself, but because of how she constantly makes these comments even when I’m just doing my own thing.
I have never once said “Your way is wrong/my way is right” or the like to her. I was quietly making my own coffee when she started her remarks. I still quietly make it. She still finds new ways to criticize it.
This led me to realize that she gets really weird whenever she finds out I learned something on my own.
In the past, I've also fixed a bunch of things like the furnace, fridge, car, around the house by watching Youtube videos and doing proper research. I've noticed that she does not say anything when it's about repairs. I have no idea why she's being particularly insufferable about coffee.
Is it an ego thing? Like, "I spent more years of my life cooking than you've been alive, there is no way a few hours of research could overturn my self-invented, unresearched brewing methods!” Or is it because she grew up in a setting where self-learning was perhaps not a concept...?
Does anyone have parents who behave weirdly when you acquire knowledge on your own?
You need your basic emotional and physical needs met,
But after that happiness comes from within, if you don't know how to be happy with your thinking no one else can make you happy,
Looks, a nice car are a family can only provide temporary happiness, if you don't think healthy it's hard to be truly happy even happy people are not happy all the time
What you think will make you happy won't last very long.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately.
I'm ambitious. I like having goals. I like building things, learning new skills, earning more, and seeing myself progress. I genuinely enjoy the feeling that my life is moving somewhere.
But the older I get, the more I realise I don't necessarily want the lifestyle that seems to come packaged with ambition.
I don't want to be constantly busy. I don't want every conversation to become networking. I don't want my weekends to become "productive." I don't particularly care about looking successful to other people.
In fact, the life I actually want is surprisingly quiet.
I want meaningful work and enough money to live very comfortably. But I also want slow mornings, hobbies that don't need to become side hustles, time at home, people I genuinely care about, and enough mental space to occasionally do absolutely nothing.
For a long time, these felt contradictory to me.
If you're ambitious, shouldn't you always want more?
More money. More recognition. A bigger career. A bigger network. The next milestone.
I'm starting to think ambition doesn't necessarily have to be about building the biggest possible life.
Maybe it can also be about building a life that fits you extremely well.
Anyone else ambitious but increasingly uninterested in the stereotypically "ambitious" life?
What are your personal, unique, mourning customs? Not the traditional stuff you were raised with, but things you have developed intuitively through your own experiences of loss.
Because if the brain really and truly doesn’t stop developing, you can be 35 and have an undeveloped frontal lobe. I don’t understand that. if the brain really truly never stops developing, why do we give so much grace for teenagers on having underdevelopment prefrontal cortexes?
It was easier to believe that the brain slowly stopped developing at 25. but I also do feel like we need to stop blaming teens making bad decisions on hormones and underdeveloped frontal lobes and more on their character, and I’m saying that as a teen myself.
Hey everyone,
I’m a data engineer from India with 5+ years of experience across analytics and data engineering. I’m seriously considering quitting my 9–5 and taking a break for a while.
The job has taken a pretty significant toll on my mental health. I’ve been constantly anxious, overwhelmed, and finding it difficult to think clearly. I barely have a social life anymore, and the work environment has become increasingly stressful.
Lately, things have gotten to the point where we’re being asked to provide proof of presence at the office, which is a new one. On top of project deadlines and work pressure, managers keep following up about completing mandatory coursework. It feels like there’s always another deadline or requirement waiting. Honestly, I’m exhausted.
I’ve been thinking about taking some time off to focus on things I actually care about and work toward some personal goals that I’ve had to put aside because of work and constant deadlines.
The job market isn’t exactly great right now, which is what makes me hesitant. But I do have some savings, and I have a notice period of about a month, so I wouldn’t be leaving immediately without a plan.
Do you think taking a career break in this situation is a reasonable decision, even with the current job market? Or would it be better to push through, find another job first, and then take a break?
I’d especially appreciate hearing from people who have taken a career break recently, were in a similarly burnt-out situation, or had to make a similar decision.
Would love to hear your honest thoughts and experiences.