r/BlatantMisogyny

My girlfriend (she’s half Japanese) and I are both in our early 20s.
A few days ago, she texted me saying she had been sexually assaulted by one of her coworkers. He forcibly touched her private parts without her consent.
She reported everything to her boss and the police. Her boss was really supportive, and the guy admitted to what he did, so he was fired immediately The police also took him in for questioning.

Later, there was a meeting at the police station with my girlfriend, both of her parents the guy and his parents. All showed up Her dad was understandably furious not just at the guy for what he did, but also at the way the police were handling the situation. During the meeting, the guy and his parents apologized and offered my girlfriend ¥5,000,000 as an apology/settlement, but she refused because, in her words “It’s not about the money”

What upset us even more were some of the comments made during the process. One police officer reportedly told her (今度からはそんな服着ないでね) (Next time don’t wear clothes like that) During the meeting someone also said, (確かにセクハラしたのも悪いけど、肌見せすぎるのも良くない)(What he did was wrong, but showing too much skin isn’t good either)

The thing is, she wasn’t wearing revealing clothes at all. She had on a long summer dress that went down to her knees. The only skin showing was her shoulders. It’s kinda messed up how you could still find a way to blame victims after what happened
She’s been devastated ever since and barely wants to leave the house. Thankfully, her boss has been incredibly understanding and gave her time off until she’s feels ready to come back.

What really shocked me was that just a few days later, the guy was back out. As far as I know, he lost his job, but I don’t know if he received a criminal record or if the case is still ongoing.

Is this kind of outcome normal in Japan, or is there usually more happening behind the scenes that victims don’t see? I’m just trying to understand how cases like this are typically handled. Cos it looks like offenders here just get a slap on the wrist and let go

Edit: appreciate everyone sharing their experiences and knowledge. It’s helped me understand the situation a lot better as far as I know I believe they’re still planning to press charges I think since she didn’t accept the settlement. I just hope she gets the justice she deserves

I’m asking this genuinely because I was recently called out for being sexist and lacking empathy, and I’m trying to understand whether there’s something problematic in my thinking.

I consider myself an ally to women, and I don’t believe women are lesser than men. But when it comes to movies, I tend to prefer watching movies where the main character/protagonist is a man. The main reason is simply that I find it easier to relate to male characters and see myself in their experiences.

I’ve also watched very few movies throughout my life, so I didn’t really grow up with a huge amount of exposure or choice when it came to movies. Most of what I have seen happened to have male protagonists, so I think that preference became familiar to me.

Recently, I asked something along the lines of “Is the MC male?” when discussing a movie, and someone called me out and said that it was sexist and i lacked empathy. I honestly didn’t understand why, but it made me stop and think about it.

It also made me wonder: does this mean I lack empathy? If I find it easier to emotionally relate to male protagonists, does that indicate that I have difficulty empathizing with women or seeing things from their perspective? Or is it possible to have an easier time relating to characters who share certain experiences with you without that meaning you lack empathy for people who are different from you?

I’m not trying to justify myself or argue that I’m right. If this preference really is rooted in sexism, misogyny, or a lack of empathy, I genuinely want to change it. I’d rather recognize an uncomfortable bias and work on it than convince myself there’s nothing wrong with it just because it’s uncomfortable to acknowledge.

So, is simply relating more easily to male protagonists sexist? Could it indicate that I lack empathy toward women? And is there a meaningful difference between having a personal preference and actively thinking female-led movies are worse because they have female protagonists?

I’m genuinely looking for honest perspectives here. I want to examine my own biases and change if there’s something I need to change, rather than become defensive about it.