u/storagesys

im so tired but of COURSE this stupid shit decides "hmmm lets go fuck up their sleep even more!!!"

sos im in so much pain i hate this. flexeril and diclofenac dont do shit, and i dont have anything else to even somewhat help the pain.

insert the "MR. KRABS I WANNA GO TO BED" clip here. thats me rn but on both sides.

this post probably sounds like im just saying word salad or smth. too tired to even form more coherent thoughts

even when im not in a ton of pain (aka i can sleep in my bed), i still feel so damn sleep deprived. im pretty sure my lack of sleep is fucking up my mental state. i always feel like im in a dream. its hard to describe, but ill try my best

you know how in non-lucid dreams you feel like your actions are predetermined and youre just watching yourself do something? thats what i feel like, all of the time. flexeril gave me 2 days of relief where i didnt feel like that before it quit working, so im almost 100% sure that its because of sleep deprivation.

anyways, apologies if this sounds somewhat incoherent. i dont feel like proofreading nor do i feel like organizing my thoughts. tldr i just want to feel rested when i sleep

very pissed off rn because im in so much pain i cant sleep but what difference does it make. even when i do sleep im exhausted. i feel like im in a dream most of the time because of sleep deprivation. i can barely do anything. the rheumatologist gave me flexeril and diclofenac. both of them stopped helping after only 2 days. my next appointment isnt until the end of september.

these are supposed to be the best years of my life. im a teenager. im supposed to be running around and having fun, not spending all of my time inside because i feel so shitty 24/7. i dont wanna live with this for the rest of my life.

ive been a NEET for the past 3 years (dropped out of high school at 14 and quickly finished a shitty online program) and i kind of... dont know how to talk to people anymore. i feel like its because ive missed out on some of the most important years of social interaction but who knows. ive always struggled to interact w/ others since im autistic but its gotten much worse now that im a NEET

AGHAHGSHFJFJFN OK SO I DIDNT GET ANY ANSWERS FROM MY RHEUMATOLOGY APPT!!! HE JUST SAID "yeah u have fibromyalgia lets run a few more tests to see if u have a specific autoimmune condition" WELL THE ENA PANEL WAS FUCKIN NORMAL AND MY SHIT WAS STILL FUCKED UP!! SO I GOT GIVEN FLEXERIL & DICLOFENAC. WORKED FINE FOR ONLY TWO FUCKING DAYS. NOW IM BACK TO FEELING LIKE SHIT AND FEELING LIKE I HAVENT GOTTEN ENOUGH SLEEP. MY NEXT APPOINTMENT IS IN TWO MONTHS FUCK MY LIFE

they really just want something they can ogle at. before i dropped out of school & did online, i would be constantly bullied and made fun of for my appearance by men (even those that were the same body type!!). id also be bullied by non-femcel women who wanted male attention, but in the end it all links back to men. id be "asked out," and even though i knew what they were doing and would tell them to go away, they kept doing it. or theyd say shit like "my friend thinks youre cute" while laughing and pointing at their friend (to again, make fun of me because i was considered "unfuckable"). i was also told that i was "drier than a popeyes biscuit" in 7th grade. so yeah. being bullied made me realize how men truly think

1:640 homogeneous, 1:160 speckled, and 1:640 nuclear dot. at least i know that im not just being lazy or that its just because im fat, but confirming that it's probably autoimmune... feels bad, yknow? im glad my results showed SOMETHING, but being glad about that also makes me feel like im just trying to fake it.

i dont want to be sick for the rest of my life. im not even 18 yet. i already have mental issues that fuck me over and make it hard for me to leave the house, and now i have physical issues on top of that. i get dizzy, sweaty, and my whole body hurts when i do too much physical activity (like walk around a walmart for less than an hour.) i get hot flashes and night sweats. i get constant back pain. and now this. why does my body have to feel like im a teenager in an old woman's body. /rhetorical

hopefully they can narrow down what exactly is wrong. my TSH and thyroid peroxidase antibody tests were normal, so im glad it probably isnt my thyroid.

looking online, theyve sent out at least NINE FUCKIN ALERTS since 5pm. this is getting a little ridiculous!!! also, i noticed that in the news about the 2 murders, hobbs was originally reported as 17. then, in the first few alerts, they reported him as 19. now the alerts are saying hes 18. his "last seen in" outfit also changed from a camo jacket and black pants, but at the time of writing theyre saying hes wearing a black hoodie and grey pants. how yall gonna update what he was last wearing if the last seen time is the exact same????

edit: i just realized theyre different people (the names are way too similar), but my point still stands that this is a ridiculous amount of alerts.