u/kittykillkill

unsure if this is the right sub to post in but i wonder is anyone else like me ? how do i stop this? i’m too embarrassed to tell anyone about it.

i use these curved plastic nose lifters i bought online and they’re supposed to be worn for a short time but i wear them every time i go out, even for 8 hours at uni.. it’s been 3 years since i started. i cannot even let my family see me without them (other than my parents and brother) or even when i simply need to take a delivery from the delivery guy. i also wore them when i went swimming..

during the first year i made my own nose lifters using q tips where they used to be sharp and dug inside my nose making me bleed and i’d still wear them, the entire day.

i wanna get a nose job in the future i don’t wanna permanently damage my nose tissue or risk necrosis but i can’t stop

I’ve been utterly lonely since I was 16, in 2020 when covid hit. I haven’t made a single good friend ever since. I do have acquaintances and can build connections but only shallow ones. I don’t have friends to go out with, to call, to vent to, nothing.

There’s this barrier between me and everyone else and I think it’s a barrier of being too self aware.. I don’t know.
I’m now almost 22 and it genuinely feels like a curse..
(not a male)