How do you move on from someone you see every single day?
I cant get over this girl and I genuinely dont know what to do anymore.I’ve loved this girl for over 3 years now. We were never officially together but we had our thing. Romantic moments, intimate moments, emotional connection, all of it. In my head she was everything I wanted. I know realistically she isnt perfect but I cant deny she felt perfect for me. Just seeing her or even seeing her social media makes me feel warm and happy.
The problem is our thing never properly worked. Every time we got close she would do things that made me feel disrespected. She liked attention from other guys a lot and always tried to please everyone around her. I’d get jealous, angry and leave, then somehow we’d reconnect because the feelings were still there.At the start she was fully into me. We had romantic nights together and honestly it felt so real. But I was avoidant and hard to reach emotionally. By the time I fully realized how much I cared about her and properly made my move, it felt like she didnt want it anymore. She never directly said it but I could feel it. Things even got sexual at one point and what messes me up is I loved her so much that I couldnt even fully go through with it that night. I wanted her emotionally more than anything. Now I regret it sometimes because it feels like I lost my chance completely even though logically I know it probably wouldnt have changed anything.
She also did some shitty things to me later on which she apologized for, but I think too much damage happened between us over time. Now she’s always around one of my friends and even though they say they arent dating, seeing them together hurts badly.
The worst part is I cant escape her. Same university, same college, same department, same social circles. I still see her every week and it completely messes with my head. It’s been months and somehow I miss her even more now. I know constantly thinking about her is sabotaging me but weirdly it’s also comforting at the same time. Im even with another girl now and still the moment I see her I realize I never fully stopped loving her. But at the same time I also want to escape her because seeing her hurts so much. I just feel stuck honestly. Like I lost the person I genuinely wanted most but I also cant fully let go because she’s still everywhere in my life.