r/datingadviceformen

So, I've known this girl for about four continuous days, however I've generally known her for about 2 months. I asked her out a month and a few weeks ago and she rejected me because she had a boyfriend but told me she wanted to stay friends. I accepted, but I ended up letting the friendship go because I realized I didn't want to make their relationship uncomfortable, so after our last conversation concluded I never reached out to her again, and she the same. Recently she just broke up with her ex-boyfriend, then added me on Facebook. I never told her my Facebook, but I guess it wouldn't be hard to find me if she knows my name. So I accepted and greeted her and asked her how she's been. She tells me she's good and first thing she made clear is that she has broken up with her ex and would like to hangout (But never clarified as friend or as a date). We've been texting back and forth some time before the hangout.

Now my concern is this. I don't want to be a rebound, much less a therapist. I feel like if she has just broken up its unavoidable she might just hangout with me out of comfort or revenge. How do I maneuver this?

this is my first time posting on this community so if I am missing any requirement let me know

me and her was having a good blast of conversations and we know each other from uni. we weren't talking to each other until last month of school eventually we started talking each other through social media and after like 4 week we went for a movie "date" one on one and I thought we had genuinely connection (was texting everyday) then I realized I had feeling for her then one time she show me her grad pictures and I told her she looks pretty after that she was never the same after that (never really had any real conversation)

fast forward I asked her why aren't she ready for relationship and she still miss her ex (including story posts of her ex with her still being on her social media and follow each other), and yes she still miss her ex but at the end of the day I still want to be friend with her since I feel like we had good connection overall and a good person to spoke to

I genuinely miss her with just being a friend and we still chat just never the same since then (last conversation was about her relationship with her ex and I started it)

the question: what are the suggestion of fixing our friendship with her? (Not trying to become her bf)

TL;DR I am trying to be friend with this person and no longer wanting to date her after an failed talking stage because she still want her ex. I don't know the right way to approach it or if I even should and let it be in the past and move on.

Where do I start? I'm 33 (m). Unexpectedly, there was a new girl at work one day 25 (f). I noticed she was pretty but at the time, didn't think too much of it.

We ended up getting along great at work. We had a very similar sense of humor, the conversations were easy. They flowed well. I never found it difficult talking to her. Now, just for some background, I've always been ok with women. I never had trouble dating. Whether I met someone at a bar, online etc.

One day I was teasing her about her hair. I said the color was great but the length was off. A few days later.. her hair was the length I suggested. She told me she would never change the length again after what I said. I was really surprised by that. There was nothing wrong with her hair! I was just being silly but I was surprised she took it so seriously.

So we go on like this back and fourth.

After a long day, I mentioned I was going go for a drink and asked her if she wanted to come along. Her entire face lit up. We had a great evening. We only had one drink each but we nursed them and talked for a while. She had a sip of mine. I had a sip of hers. And we shared a cigarette after. Now this entire time I'm thinking ok, this is odd because.. she's a coworker so are we just two coworkers having a drink after work or is she interested? As we wrapped up I asked her if she would join me for a drink another time. Again, her face lit up and she said yes. So we hugged, and parted ways.

Fast forward another week or two and we did the same thing. I asked her if she wanted to have a drink after work and she happily said yes. But.. this time the conversation felt more intimate to me. The tones were more hushed. There was a familiarity we didn't have last time. She told me she had remembered the first thing I had ever said to her, that she recently had a dream about me.. she was driving so didn't want to have more than one. We hugged, and I asked her to message me when she made it home. She did, and she told me she wished she wasn't driving so we could've had had another drink.

At this point I'm convinced she's interested but there's always a touch of a doubt because she's younger, she's a coworker, and the whole thing just could be messy.

Well the next week, she quit. I was shocked but not really. I knew she wasn't happy there. We texted that night she said she would miss seeing me and we talked about still hanging out.

A few days later I messaged her and said I had this day off and asked her to meet me for a drink. She said that sounded good and she didn't mind driving out towards me way (we lived about half an hour apart) we exchanged a few messages the day before and I suggested two places and asked if she had a preference for one or the other. She didn't respond.. so the next day (the day we're supposed to meet up) still no response. She messaged late morning and said sorry things were crazy the day before but asks if we can reschedule. I said sure but asked her if she was ok.. I was wondering if something happened. No response.

Fast forward a few weeks later.. and we exchange snaps here and there but otherwise that's it.

So where do I leave it? Obviously something has cooled and thats fine. But do I throw out a hail Mary? Do I keep trying to engage.

I want to say I built this up to be more than it was, but I honestly dont think I did.

It was truly love at first sight. I put in the effort to initiate contact and get to know her well enough to ask her on a date. We’ve been dating for almost 2 months however, she’s been on a vacation with her best friend and it’s gonna be exactly one month…. When she left it was our 1 month anniversary and when she gets back it’ll be our 2 month anniversary. Do I sound crazy for saying that I know wholeheartedly she’s the woman I want to marry? Any advice is appreciated.
Thank you in advance

Being an unattractive man in my 20s is the worst thing in life. I’ve watched all my siblings get into relationships while I rot in loneliness. It’s truly one of the worst things to have so many unattractive features. Yes, I understand that grooming yourself and going to the gym help, but they didn’t help me. My genetics are genuinely terrible. I don’t think any woman would get past my appearance and want to actually get to know me.

my girlfriend (18) and i (19) have been together for almost a year now. i honestly have no idea what to do anymore. to keep things short, back in april we had an argument and broke up, the argument was my fault & i broke up with her for no reason really other than my own unresolved abandonment issues. we didn’t text for a couple hours after but later that night we were texting again & hung out the next day. that day though she was on her phone and got a snapchat notification that someone added her back, the person who added her back was someone she has slept with before me. she tried to make excuses that he just randomly added her back & he didn’t add him the night we broke up. but her whole argument was “we were broken up” so it’s not like she cheated. we were broken up for less than 5 hours. she doesn’t see the fact that it was so quick for her to want somebody else.
about 2 months go by and obviously i don’t trust her like i did because of that. she blocked him & we were starting to move past it. but in the end of may we get into a little argument again, we didn’t break up but we agreed to take a couple hours away from texting each other.
last night i looked at her recently added on snapchat because i had some weird intuition & what do you know, she unblocked him when we had that little hiccup in the end of may.
i can’t believe im still talking to her right now & honestly im disgusted in her behavior. she says that she adds him when times get rough for “validation” and because he’s “easy” and will give her validation instantly. i have a strong feeling that she wants him but is with me for whatever reason, i also don’t want to be with someone that runs to someone else when things get hard. i honestly can’t believe im still in contact with her but she begged and begged for me not to leave. like i said i dont want a girlfriend who wants someone else but i dont know what to do anymore. any tips?

I had a relationship in 2021 jan. It lasted till mid 2023. It was great, we were love dovey, so deep in love. Later our parents got to know about our situation. We had different religions. Not that we wanted but we broke up. None of us got into relationship upto 2025. In 2025, she was with a date. But then she broke up after 9 months. And even till now, she feels low she comes to me. I had to listen to her. Since I'm a medico, she even asked me about STDs (she had sex with him). It was really traumatizing to hear all that for me. And she's dumb when it comes to relationships and all. I feel like I have to be there, nhi toh uska kon sunega and all that. Although she realised that I'm getting affected, she apologized also. But she was crying over relationship and all.

As per as ik, she just has a soft corner for me, she isn't attached to me. I think I'm attached little bit. Help me out.

I'm curious if anyone else experiences this.

I tend to pick up on people's personalities, values, communication style, and intentions fairly quickly. Because of that, I often lose attraction early if I realize we're probably not compatible.

For example, if I notice that someone isn't emotionally mature, has values that don't align with mine, or seems to approach relationships in a way that wouldn't work for me, it's almost like a switch flips. Flirting stops feeling natural because my brain has already categorized us as incompatible.

Another part of it is that I don't really enjoy small talk or playful flirting for very long. I'm much more engaged by meaningful conversations about people's experiences, goals, beliefs, or the way they think.

The downside is that dating feels difficult because attraction disappears before anything has a chance to develop. Sometimes I wonder if I'm judging people too quickly, and other times I think I'm simply filtering for compatibility very early.

Has anyone else experienced this? If so, how do you balance giving people a fair chance without ignoring genuine incompatibilities?

There's a girl in my college who's very quiet and doesn't talk to many people. I'm probably her only male friend.

In person, she talks to me normally and seems comfortable. But on WhatsApp, if I text her about something that's not college-related, she usually leaves it on seen or replies with just "okay." She also takes 4–5 hours to reply but she texts first most of time.

Am I overthinking this, or is she just not interested? How can I know 

what she really thinks about me?

(Used ChatGPT to correct grammar)

I'm 27M and my ex is 29F.
We were together for a few years, and looking back, she was honestly my best friend. We talked about marriage, kids, and building a life together. I really thought she was my person.
Toward the end of our relationship, I was dealing with a lot of career uncertainty and financial stress. Instead of leaning on the person who loved me most, I unintentionally pulled away and shut down. I became emotionally distant and stopped showing up for her the way she needed me to. She tried really hard to save the relationship. She even suggested couples therapy at one point, and I brushed it off. Looking back now, I regret that more than I can put into words.
Eventually she ended things.
Our last conversation was rough. She was extremely hurt and said a lot of painful things. She told me she was blocking me, and I never responded. Looking back, not responding is probably one of my biggest regrets.
Over the past several months I've done a lot of reflecting and honestly a lot of growing. The more I've thought about everything, the more I've realized she was right about a lot. I can finally see things from her perspective, and I genuinely hate the way I handled so much of our relationship. I took her for granted, and I didn't appreciate what I had until it was gone.
The thing is, I still love her.
I don't just miss having a relationship. I miss her. I miss our life together, our routines, our dogs, our friendship, and just having my person.
I've written a short message taking responsibility for my actions, apologizing, and saying that if she's ever open to talking I'd really appreciate the chance. I'm not asking her to get back together or trying to pressure her into anything. I just want her to know how sorry I am, that I've grown, and that I've finally realized what I lost.
Part of me feels like I owe her that apology.
The other part of me is scared I'll only reopen old wounds or that she's completely moved on and doesn't want to hear from me.
If you were in her shoes, would you want to receive that message?
Or if you've been in a similar situation, either as the one reaching out or the one receiving it, what happened?
I'm genuinely looking for honest advice, even if it's not what I want to hear.

Unless I feel like this woman would date me, I don't engage with her if she does the same niche hobby as me

The reason for this is because it's already rare for women to like these hobbies (or at least show it), so when a woman does enter this space, she gets endless attention. She herself also knows that she has increased her "dating value" amongst the other hobbyists and might not lock in with one man, but rather keep all of her options open

I save myself from having to compete for her, by simply not competing for her. If she wants to date me, she'll come up to me herself

One time, I was doing indoor rock climbing and this girl who I never spoke to, started speaking to me. At first I got annoyed because I had a feeling she was just going around talking to all of the guys in order to gain validation and potentially "collect" simps

I wasn't rude, but I didn't really care to respond to her too much. Eventually I warmed up slightly, but I then got up and left, wishing her goodbye

The next time she saw me, she smiled and said hi, but she was with two other guys, so I just said hi and left the area

I realized I have no reason to engage with her. If she approached me while alone, and showed me that she only wants me, because she likes me, and not because she just wants to collect a bunch of orbiters to give her attention, I would have chatted with her, gotten to know her, exchanged social media(s) etc

I feel like women in niche hobbies that tend to be male dominated, know how much dating power they have within that hobby space, and just like a dating app, they can't just stick to one guy, rather need them all

I just feel like if a woman has a niche hobby that alot of men enjoy, she has now increased her dating value 100-fold

So how does one man even date a woman like that - a woman that other men have dreamed of for decades. It feels like a waste of time to pursue her, because she will literally have an insane amount of options, and simps who will do ANYthing for her. I can't, nor will do ANYthing for her.

I don't discriminate against any woman who wants to do any hobby. Why would I? However, I don't engage with them

Any other men have this experience? Where it's super hard to date women in male dominated hobbies, because these women literally get 24/7 attention from the other hobbyists?

Any women have this experience? Where guys will ignore you in male dominated hobbies - for whatever reason?

35M living in europe, have been dating for last 5 years and was in a shared apartment (good location).

And though I had success bringing girls home lot of times, there was some uneasiness due to lack of complete privacy and finally , so I bought an apartment recently. its still a good location though.

But after a month of moving , I realised my next door neighbour is a bit crazy (social housing, and also on drugs sometimes, and he likes sitting in the lobby most of the time), and also the lift lobby also smells a bit as its an old apartment complex).

its a bit of revelation now, that it took few months to get comfortable finally. But I am still not comfortable inviting girls over.

tldr: my previous apartment is shared, amazing location, new building but new apartment (living alone more privacy) but old building and smelly lobby.

how should i handle logistics?

Recently I started dating my best frnd. She is my frnd from childhood. We casually roast each other, make fun but now we started dating each other..and the initial awkwardness started to escalate and I am confused what I should know Abt her in the pov of getting to know more Abt her. Give me ideas.

I’ll try to keep the backstory as short as possible. I am 26M, and I met a girl on a dating app around March 2025. We really clicked, and it felt like we were both very into each other, but we were at very different points in our life then. We talked every day for three months before things fell apart, this is the story:

I was a few months from finishing grad school, was working 20 hours a week in a Grad Assistant position that paid for my school. Both school and work were winding down to the point where I had nothing but free time when I was talking to her.

She was established in a normal 9-5 office job on the weekdays and had recently picked up an extra job at a bar on the weekends. She had like 3-5 days off a month, and her schedule was super full with work, the gym, etc.

More backstory for myself: At the time I had a major problem with drugs and alcohol. I was high 24/7 on THC, got hammered drunk like 3-4x a week, and was doing acid and shrooms monthly. Mentally I was in a rough spot, and it didn’t help at all that I had no clue what I was going to do after graduation.

Fast forward to now. I changed my habits and quit THC cold turkey about 6 months ago, and have been in weekly therapy for that same amount of time. After my first post-grad job not working out, I was able to land an amazing job making six figures. My whole life has changed in the first half of this year, after I finally decided to grow up.

Now back to the girl. Everything about her is exactly what I was looking for, but I just pushed it way too hard. I was actively trying to win her love instead of just allowing it to grow naturally. I was not emotionally stable and I was immature in the way that I went about it.

I didn’t understand what it was like to be busy the way she was, and I wanted to speedrun things into a serious relationship. I scared her off and she took a step back in our conversations, and I could feel it.

So I did another immature thing… and sent her a paragraph that I was cool with ending things because I could feel that we weren’t clicking the same way. In reality, I was just embarrassed because of how poorly I had gone about things pushing it so hard with paragraphs all the time telling her how into her I was. I tried to get in front of it before I got hurt.

She was shocked by my message and said that it really hurt her. I went back on it and tried to apologize and talk it back, but she sent a message saying that she didn’t see us going anywhere romantically anymore. She said that she really liked me, but I had been too much those last few weeks.

She was right, I screwed up.

I said okay thank you for explaining where your head is at, I understand and I wish you the best. Then I blocked her number and her Snapchat, so I could distance myself and try to move on.

As you can see, I stacked a lot of immature moves on top of each other, and I lost a girl that I really felt like things could work out with.

15 months later, after a lot of work on myself, I want to reach out and try to reconnect. I am a different person than I was, and I would like to just talk to her.

I can live with it if it doesn’t go anywhere, that will give me closure. But at this point she feels like the one who got away. What should I do?

I have a girl at my high school that I'm interested in. We did a few group projects together, but we never really got the chance to talk much. She's always very nice to me and seems genuinely interested whenever we're together in person. Even my friends think she's into me because of all the signs she gives.

I took my chance and asked her out. I made it clear that I was interested in her romantically and wasn't asking her to hang out just as friends. She took about five hours to reply, but she said she did want to go out with me and that we could figure out a day to do it. She also said she couldn't right now because her schedule is really busy.

The confusing part is that she barely replies to my texts. At school, she still talks to me normally and acts the same way she always has, like she's interested. But days would go by without her answering my messages. I even saw her texting one of her friends at school, so it didn't really make sense that she hadn't seen mine.

After a few days, I asked if she had changed her mind about our date. I never mentioned the texts or acted upset about it. She said she hadn't and that she still wanted to go out with me. She also apologized for not replying, saying she hadn't seen my messages, even though I never brought them up (meaning she actually saw them).

Then I told her that if she didn't actually want to go out, she could just tell me. She said again that she does want to go out with me, but that her schedule is just chaotic because of work.

That could honestly be true. She and her twin sister rarely come to school because they go to school, work, and courses. Still, I know she has time to reply to my texts.

We're on summer break now, and she still hasn't texted me back. I haven't sent her any more messages because I don't want to pressure her or come across as desperate.

Is she actually interested in me? I wonder if she's just really shy because she never talks to anyone at school except her twin sister. Everyone likes her, but she chooses to keep to herself and doesn't really have any close friends, even though people talk to her sometimes. She almost never starts conversations with anyone and seems like the kind of person who's very focused. She doesn't even talk that much to her own twin sister. Although she's very friendly and seems extroverted when you talk to her.

I have some past trauma from thinking a girl liked me when she actually didn't, so I'm scared the same thing might be happening again.

I honestly don't believe those internet videos that say, "If she's ignoring you, then she's not interested," because I think every situation is different. I've even seen cases where that wasn't true. Everyone is different, and people have different reasons and circumstances.

She doesn't seem like the type of girl who would try to play with my feelings. She's genuinely nice and doesn't come across like those girls with a huge ego or anything. But I'm still not sure what's going on.

So I'm a 24 M and been with my girlfriend [F25], for a little over a year now. We've come a LONG way in our relationship and I'm so grateful for her. She had an incredibly abusive ex that verbally berated her in every way imaginable, mostly about her body and looks etc. Those insecurities are obviously hard to leave behind.

She shared a few months into our relationship that she has severe body dysmorphia and a lot of fears and insecurities when it comes to sex and her body. I've tried my very best to be excessively complimentary and positive but sometimes it feels like she thinks I'm laying it on thick or being disingenuous. I never say anything I don't 100% believe.

I'm just trying to be slow and patient with her because I know how badly she was hurt before and she's perfect in every way possible. I absolutely adore her and I wish she could see herself the way I see her. She won't allow lights on during sex and when it comes to *certain* acts, she always insists on giving rather than receiving. I've never wanted anything MORE in my life than to just eat her out and show her how into her I am but she has some serious trauma there specifically from her ex being awful and making horrible comments about her during that act. It makes me sad how so she's soooo cautious and nervous all the time. I want her to enjoy herself and to feel incredible, not so stressed out all the time.

She always insists that it's not me, that I'm the most attentive bf she's had, and that she's attracted to me but sometimes the anxiety can override that. I know usually to not take it personally but I just want to earn her trust.

What can I do to help build her self-esteem aside from being patient and continuing to reassure her?

I’m on TikTok (like half the planet), and a prompt came up asking what the most romantic thing I’d ever done for someone was.

I don’t know why, but for the first time, I told the abridged version of a story I’ve never shared publicly.

Back in 2013, while I was working at SpaceX, I used company equipment to sneak a declaration of my affection into the assembly of SES-8. After a couple of launch delays, it finally lifted off on December 3, 2013, and was placed into geostationary orbit roughly 22,000 miles above Earth—where it remains to this day.

It’s probably the most ridiculous, over-the-top, hopelessly romantic thing I’ve ever done, and more than a decade later, it’s still holding its orbit.

Hello I 22M am gay. Ive been dating this guys for about a month now and it’s not going so well. When we first went out everything was fine he was sweet and kind. I was obviously nervous because Ive actually never been in a relationship before and never did more than hug someone. I told him I’ve never been with someone on our second date after he asked how many people Ive been with. As we continued dating things sped up and I noticed it we went from kissing to hugging and other stuff exceeding that but never went all the way. When going out we mainly did things he wanted to do which was okay but I was a little annoyed, but it did get me out of my comfort zone when trying new things. At some point I told him I loved him (I know, way too early) and he felt the same. Not soon after I noticed that we were really going fast and told him I wanted to take it slow. He understood and agreed. But that didn’t last so long. When we were in his room, we began kissing and things escalated. He asked if I wanted to go all the way. I asked if he had safety and he said no. I told him i wanted to be safe when doing this and his mood did a whole 180 and got up and said he wasn’t in the mood and let’s just do something else. I was shocked that, that was his response to my boundary I set. After that things were awkward for a few days. We did talk about it eventually and agreed to take it one date at a time and to communicate more with another. After that he didn’t text as much and it feels like he’s giving off a different vibe than when we first met like he lost some interest and enthusiasm when we talk.

This morning he texted telling cancelling out date today and that he’s been wanting to tell me for a few days that he hasn’t felt much emotional interest in us since the whole room thing and a few other things. He said he’s been a bit uncomfortable about talking about it and said it isn’t my fault. He told me he needs some time to think about us.

In response, I told him I need some time to think about this too, and I might talk to him later.

A part of me understands but is a little angry and sad and just doesn’t feeling anything. I don’t know. I’m angry that he decided to tell me over text. Also I’m upset that he’s the one feeling uncomfortable and upset when we he was the one who reacted like that when I didn’t want to be unsafe. While another part feels like maybe I was a bit too anxious and insecure because like I said I’ve never been in a relationship before. When we hugged or did whatever I asked him if it was okay for me to do that or if he was feeling comfortable. Maybe doing that repeatedly was bad, idk. I don’t know can I have some advice?