r/datingadviceformen

I worked with a girl for about 8 months. We got close at times, but things also got messy between us occasionally, and we didn't end on the best of terms. We hadn't talked in a couple of months, and she just texted me out of nowhere with "Hey, how have you been?" I'm interested in her, and since we don't work together anymore, I'd like to ask her out. Is it okay to go for it, or should I stay casual and see where the conversation goes?

I've been seeing a lot of talk about how women like it when you're more reserved, as in not showing much reaction or talking a lot. Apparently they'd be more interested in a guy that is laid back and composed, not doing things like double texting or texting back too fast etc

Is this actually true? I've been talking to a girl and I find it hard to be nonchalant when I like someone, I just feel eager to talk about things and ask questions.

She doesn't seem to mind anything and we've been talking all day for a couple months now, but she keeps calling things I do "cute" and "sweet" and I'm wondering if that'll put me in the friendzone somewhere down the line since women apparently don't actually commit to the "cute" men.

Hello all I need some advice on how to talk to women lol. Just got out of a six relationship and I’m struggling here just a tad I matched with this one woman she had on her profile choose drinks or food. I picked the drink option for next week. She matched with me I said “hey” and for some stupid reason, I said “I see you have horses may I pet them”
Complete moronic response on my part. I told her I suck at this and I’m sorry lol. The correct response would’ve been choosing a bar in the same town that we live. Is this conversation salvageable at all she did not respond and it’s been over a day.

I’m 17 and have been rejected about 25 times most of which were with darkskin women and without giving me a chance I’m starting to believe I may never get a girl am I cooked? (My type brown skins 2+ years older blonde dyed hair gotta use black white or pink polish too) am I cooked? Also this is a bit embarrassing but to get the best help I can imma just own up to it I’m a feet dude I really love feet

Kind of a long story short, I used to help a girl with her account since before only fans was a thing. She used to do cam work and we hooked up in Vegas. When only fans came up me and her started her account because she wanted to do something that made her feel okay and she was going to do it with without me and I wanted to try to help keep her safe. She's now one of the bigger accounts on there and me and her have since stepped away.

I went through a really bad breakup about 6 or 7 years that I might be 8 years now and didn't date for over 5 years and then I met somebody that I fell in love with and in the span of 6 months she took everything from me I lost literally everything. I've gotten to the point now where even if a female coworker touches me I cringe I don't want anything to do with anybody and I started to develop hatred towards that gender I didn't want to feel like that anymore and so I decided to try to reach out to females to talk to them so that I wouldn't be so apprehensive around them. I would have gone to dating sites or something like that but I wasn't interested in dating and when a girl looks at somebody like me on a dating site she won't reply because she thinks that I'm after her body. That left me only fans. So I started talking to people on there and I developed several friendships on there people that I've talked to for years now. Never saw them naked never talked sexual or nothing like that. Never spent a dime on anybody.

Then I met somebody and we were in contact for over 2 years but we just started talking about 4 months ago and I made a joke about her being a bad girlfriend and she got mad at me and she made this long ass list of things that she did for me things that she remembered things about our friendship and then she got mad at me saying that she wishes that I would stop making girlfriend jokes and then taking them back before even giving her a chance to sit on the idea. At this point I didn't know what she looked like she didn't know what I looked like but she asked me out that day and I said yes. I started getting a little bit worse suspicious because of how good this person was treating me and honestly I started to not believe anything she said because if she treated me like I was the winner and the relationship like I was the prize. She's not American but she lives in New York. Sometimes she would have trouble separating me from the job and I would have to remind her that I'm not a customer I'm a friend at this point I was her boyfriend.

Any ideas of dating really freaked me out but she made me feel like I was okay. And truth be told she might have saved my life near the end of September. I had a big change happen that was almost the end of me and I broke it off today after my birthday because I started to have my doubts about things, she wanted to take things slow but then she would do things that made me question that. I know that she was just as scared as I am and I have no doubt that I actually was talking to the person, but it has me kind of feeling embarrassed and wondering about this whole situation. I started to feel like she was giving me the girlfriend experience but late at night when I couldn't sleep it felt more raw like she was being honest with me. She was teaching me Spanish, she was making sure that I'd eaten that day because I had quit taking care of myself for a little bit because of the situation. We had made a decision to wait a year to find out whether or not we were going to move to one or the other and the idea of leaving the platform scared the hell out of her she said because the way the platform works she can lose her livelihood. I've been trying to get back in contact with her but due to an issue with a verification I can't temporarily. This leads me to my list of questions and I'm expecting to get made fun of in the chat so hit me with everything. Please be blunt

We were not spending money on anything to do with the conversations or the relationships. We had decided that me buying nudes would have been like me jumping the line and taking a shortcut and we had talked about that quite a bit. I told her I felt like that would be me taking the easy way out towards her and she told me that the reason she fell in love with me was because of how I treated her. Because I treated her like she was a person not like she was an only fans girl. I know how the GFE experience works but this didn't feel like that and again I'm in the industry too so it takes a lot to get one over me but I don't know if it was my insecurities or my intuition that led me to this conclusion.

My question is, has there ever been a relationship last that was started through of?

Does that mean that I'm many less of a man because the girl that I love does only fans?

Is there any chance that this was just a scheme to get money out of me in the future? I've been out of the game for a while and I'm really trying to figure out if she was being honest with me, every time we've talked about spending money we both steered away from it sometimes her first sometimes me first. The only thing that I had told her that I was going to do was buy some for her for her birthday because I have nobody in my life to do that for but her birthday isn't for several months so it's not like she told me it was tomorrow.

I guess TLDR version is this, did I fall for the GFE experience? She told me her last name where she was originally from she told me things that you can't find online. And she never once asked me for money.

And does this mean that I'm a loser incel that I want to get back in touch with her? I'm not asking for advice, I'm just asking for opinions

Edit 1. I didn't know what she looked like until she asked me out. I have started to like talking to her even before that. She didn't know what I look like until she asked me out. I said her pictures of myself after she did and she still wanted to go out with me. Or 1500 km or 1,000 miles away from each other. And we are making plans to meet... No money was exchanged. She refused to accept it, and she's a pretty big creator

So i am m25 and have meet a Girl (20) 8 months ago.

we started out as friends, she had a Boyfriend at the time. 6 months ago she broke Up and we rapidly started to spent more and more time together leading towards an f+.

She Always Said she only wants f+ and nothing more. At the same time we have an insane Chemistry and she started pulling me closer and Close to a point where WE basically spent every day together.

There we're many very intimate Moments but she Always Said that she doesnt want a relationship.

Then she started tinder on the side (she started that she is Just doing it for fun and to go in cute Dates without wanting something more). She started Texting with a guy morenfrequently and at that point i started to realized that i am in Love.

I dealt very badly with the Situation and kinda spiraled because i didnt like her writing with the other Guy. Managed to get people of a shared friendgroup upset which later resulted in me getting kicked out.

Then i pulled the Plug and Said i cant deal with IT anymore. Basically going no contact with her. She was away for a month where she was in vacation.

During this time there where several Signal that she still payed Attention to me like refollowing my insta, regularly visiting my Stories etc.

After she returned, the shared friendgroup saw me together with another Girl (Just a friend although they didnt know at the time). She texted me at the Same day and i got kicked out of the friendgroup the Same day.

She in her Part wanted to be Friends again, WE started going to the Gym again and 2 days.later she asked me If i want the f+ again. That was 2 weeks ago.

WE started seeing each other again not AS often AS before but still Like 4 Times a week.

WE Text every day and she is calling. Also she stoped writing with anyone else etc.

She told me again that she doesnt want a relationship even though i am fine atm with the f+ (Düring the no contact month i lost the majority of my Feelings even though i am aware that i still have them in General)

At the Same time she droped things like she isnt really acting like she is single, or that she really likes me. That she feels very lonely when we arent writing.

When i told her that i plan to Stop having the f+ when i realized that my Feelings get too strong she told me that is a good solution. Later she Said again she really likes me. I replied i like you as well.

She then told me that i am Not alliwed to do that because i told her i would leave her If i Like her.

She told me a day later that when she thinks of beeing in an Relationship she feels like she isnt free and that it makes her panic as well. She told me she would Like to try to Text me less AS an Experiment If she can manage that.

She also explained to me that she is a Person that always need a Person that listens to her and that i am that Person at the Moment. She then asked me If the f+ IS a Bad Idea and that she Just wants to be friends but then said basically sek later that IT wasnt a fully formed thought and that we should continue.

She pushed me and Said i should still Date and that i am free to look around. Even told me that she would liem to See me find someone Else but when i pointed Out that if i find someone else WE would prolly Stop seeing each other

she told me that she thought that we are very good Friends in the first place and the + Part is a Side Thing and that she doesnt See why we would stop meeting 4 Times a week. I explained then that it would be disrespectful to any Partner to still See a f+ especially one so recent.

She accepted that but went very quiet after. Got a call later that evening where WE talked 1 hrs about very irrelevant stuff.

At this Point i am completly confused Like i dont know what is going on in her head. I dont even know what i want at this Point i am activly trying to meet with other persons while maintaing the f+ with her. But i still Love her to some degree and would very much Like a relationship with her.

(I am aware enough though that i would end contact with her if i find someone else because Nobody Else deserves a Partner with that constelation)

Any advice what IS going on/ how i can Tell what she is thinking/ what i can do to resolve that?

2 weeks ago I met a girl on VRChat. We were clicking a lot actually very quickly. I was running my quiet Fallen Angel Knight avatar in a game where u get 2 minute 1 on 1 convos. We talked then there was a group round and when her guy friend was calling me gay and stuff jokingly, I matched his energy saying, "I’m straighter than a doorknob." She watched us then by the next round she came back to me again while I was talking to someone else and got in the other persons face but I didn’t react.

I added her discord 2 days later and she texting me first, she sent me pics of her pets, 1-2 min replies, questions etc. But then she replied less and when I asked if she was gunna hop on she gave me a dry, non-committal "yea maybe" and went play other games on her PC with friends.

I waited 2 days cuz maybe she was busy or testing me but then I broke the ice by joking about how her "crimes against the council would not go unpunished.” for not replying. This was fitting into my bio interests and stuff we were previously talking about. Next morning, her pride broke, and she texted just "i apologize 😭" When I finished my work shift in the afternoon-noon I texted her, "Foul play, woman. Your exile ends then." After that text, she went completely cold for 10 full days.

During that time she would change her status to display what she was feeling, (guess people do that?) But she would throw a massive line of tactical, attention-seeking statuses (I think) onto her profile card that I felt were to bait a reaction out of me:
- im the type to put everyone on ignored you gotta catch me.
- In love with a ghost please don’t come back, its stress relief from everything
- ☆ I guess she’s gotta cut her blue hair off ☆
- nothing is going my way rn is it?
- made my warframe pretty:3
- supernatural eps left: 3
- supernatural eps left: 2
- matching pfp w/ northstar!
- yk you’ve really won in life if someone sends u a whimper audio
- i soggy
- out with friends:3
- ive fucking won.
- stay the hell away from meeee
[Blank Status]
- i got water in my charging port and dont have access to rice

Yesterday, I linked my Spotify to my discord so it would display my music even when I was offline. I put up a black-and-white pic of me in the gym looking great for my pfp, and started blasting hardstyle n stuff while lifting like I always do. And not even like 10 minutes of that she sent an apology text saying, “oh my god i did NOT see this in so sorry 😭" I waited like a day and texted her “Me too man” and an hour later she just sent a 🙂.

Now for context it was very often she would leave her status on idle, be chronically online playing lots of different games, and almost never would check her discord through her phone up until when I met her at first and until recently when she broke the silence.

So what i’m asking is if I should pursue this or anything bc I know online relationships are just seen as “quick dopamine” a lot of the time but I feel like she was being very genuine at first and at the very least willing to match my energy again. Im not gunna take something like this too seriously, if anything, i’d see this as practice so what y’all think? Those status updates meant for me? Do I pursue? She testing me?

Hi guys, so I have been talking to this girl who seems so far pretty into me and has said she hopes our first date goes well and have gotten good morning or sweet dreams takes and I’m thinking about you and such very flirty ones she made earlier time to go out as well on a date. We met up and we instantly starting holding hands, and I rubbed her back a little and I gave her a kiss on the cheek while waiting it was just obvious I felt she wanted me to early. While at dinner I said I wanted to sit next to you and she said she loved that so that went well. And she was laying her head on me a ton throughout and scratching her hair a lot she enjoyed it just seemed to go really well. And I told her I want to go out again and she agreed. And walked her to her car and kissed her on the lips about 5 times. and she tried to initiate kisses throughout our date and she wants me to come over soon. And kept telling me how amazing I was dressed and my energy is amazing. Seems like pretty well so far? We are in communication too so I’m making sure to try to. Thanks guys

Me (23M), there's a girl (25F) I'm dating. We've been chatting since July and started seeing each other in September. Sometimes, she suddenly goes dry over text, even right after a wonderful date, but then she goes back to being fully engaged again.

Whenever we meet, though, we always make out, kiss, and act all lovey-dovey. We also exchange gifts. When I was travelling to another city to see my favourite band, she gifted me a T-shirt of the band along with a sweet handwritten note. In return, I brought her chocolates and a plushie from the trip.

I'm confused by the inconsistency in her texting. Is she genuinely interested in me but just not big on texting, or could it mean she's unsure about what she wants from me?

I [21M] met this girl [20F] last year in a club at our school. We didn't really talk much but we saw each other all the time but not much talking outside of organization stuff. The over the summer, we started talking after she replied to my insta story.

We talk everything for like a week and then I ask her to hang out. Before that day we were supposed to hang out, she didn't respond to my message for like a couple of days, then eventually she does and she tells me that she's having car troubles and wouldn't be able to go to the agreed upon place, she said she'd still be down for this other place but the drive would've been way longer for me so I had to back out.

But I also backed out cuz I kinda felt like she was blowing me off so I never texted her again over the summer. Fast forward last week, I finally see her again, and we talk like normal then eventually she asked me "Why did you never text me again?" And I just said I was sorry. I brought up how we were supposed to go out and that I had to make it up to her.

She ends up driving me back to my place after that and she brought it up again, she asked me "Why did you wait until now to bring it up again?" I kind of copped out and just said "This is the first time we've seen each other this year.

So I see her again that friday cuz she had invited me to a friends party, I go there, she gets there after me, we talk and we're doing what I'd consider flirting. She drives me back again at the end of the night and I tell her first thing in the morning, I'm gonna text her, and we're gonna go out.

So now get to now we're supposed to go out this Thursday, and I'm pretty sure everything is neutral but I'm just so afraid that I'm reading shit wrong. What do you think?

Hi, I'm 24 M, and I'm looking for some quick perspective from anyone who’s successfully taken a step back from dating and built a solid baseline for themselves. I’ve hit a point of complete dating fatigue lately. I'm sick of overthinking every small interaction, playing a role, and constantly feeling like I need to find someone. I’ve realized I just want to stay single for a while, keep my mental peace, and focus completely on my own stuff: school, gym, career, and just enjoying my free time. My big thing in relationships is just being 100% myself without masking or putting on a front. But every time I'm in "hunting mode," I feel like I'm stuck performing, which is exhausting. I understand the logic behind "stop looking and focus on yourself." The problem is my brain hasn't caught up to my plan yet. Whenever I’m just chilling at school in my own zone, I’ll notice attractive girls around and my brain instantly goes into overdrive "Should I say something?", "Am I wasting an opportunity?" I don't want to shut myself off or act weird; I just want to be able to notice someone attractive, think "cool," and go right back to whatever I was doing without feeling pressure to act or make a move. How did you train yourself to stop treating everyday spots like a high-stakes hunting ground? What helped you stop secretly hoping, "maybe being myself will bring someone along," and just enjoy being single?

Hi all, I am a guy 17M, I am in my final year of school and on track to do medicine at a great university, probably one of the top 10 unis in the uk, I am average height with decent looks but I have a little fat but lots of muscle, not to be egocentric but I look alright, my abs are almost coming out but I’m not a skinny guys so I’m kind of built. I am known for being kind and forgiving and really just a great person, I can’t really explain why but I meet girls to the point of getting to know them or being close friends quite rarely like extremely rarely due to a busy schedule and only having male only environments, but that doesn’t mean I’m awakard or anything, the problem is I had found the girl who I thought was the one, she wanted the same things, we found each other extremely attractive, and we enjoyed the same things, we would spend all our time together and we went out and it was GREAT I mean genuinely even now that thinking about it hurts it was the greatest day of my life and I would give anything to relive it. But three weeks ago, we were going through a slightly rough bit, she had her med entrance exam which didn’t go great meaning that she would have to resit as she didn’t want to settle for anything but literally the best few unis, which I completely respect, and then the week after I had family over so we couldn’t call at all then either, this meant two weeks had passed and we had not spent any time together, well, at the end of the two weeks I had a really really horrible day I sent her a message saying I wanted more and that I missed her but I worded it wrong and made it sound like it was me needing more or else we would be done, and she just let it end. I was expecting her to say something like she would try harder or we could spend more time but she was like I don’t think I can do this. I cleared my head and the next day I messaged saying I didn’t actually feel that way and I had just missed her and she said she had just lost feelings, now I’m not proud of how I reacted as I brought the conversation back up a few times, as we discussed what now until in the end we settled on people who just play the game together, well I thought it would be fine, I still had feelings and was confused and hurt but ok, 2 weeks after the breakup I had an interesting day and I tried to call her (after calling everyone else I considered a friend and them not picking up) and she said she couldn’t so I sent a bunch of voice notes kind of just going over everything, again not proud because we said talking wasn’t a great idea but she has now been directly ghosting me for a week and our mutuals said that it’s probably best if me and her don’t play for a while even in like a big group. And I just feel so lost, this all came from me having a bad day and I asked if she wanted to try and see if maybe we made a mistake and she said a hard no and asked me to respect her decision, I just feel so lost about how to feel as there are so many things I can’t even fit here like her saying I am wonderful and she does still really care about me but she can’t be the person I need, but her also saying that ignoring people is the single worst thing you can do to a person and made me promise to never do that to her. I have tried to talk to someone else, I am someone who really needs to have like a person otherwise nights get lonely and like the game gets boring and sad, but I can’t find anyone either because of my situation so idk what to do, I play valorant and Overwatch. Any advice?

Hello, my first period class is next to this girls class and everyday after the period ends during passing period she always try’s walking next to me by walking at my pace right next to me, I am wondering if she likes me since I also like her

Hey so there’s this girl I like and see her walking around campus. But for some reason I’m too scared to talk to her. I keep on waiting for the perfect moment, but it will probably never come and I know this, but I’m too much of weeny to approach her. Please any advice would be helpful!

I’m 21 and in university. I’m not shy and I usually approach girls at clubs, but I’m wondering what’s the best way to approach a girl I actually think is my type.

If I meet a girl at university and I’m genuinely interested in her, do I just talk to her for a bit and ask her out on a date, or should I try to become friends first and see what happens naturally?

I don’t want to become “friends” with someone while secretly hoping she’ll eventually date me. I’d rather be straightforward, but I’m curious what other people think works better around our age (21–22).

What do you guys usually do?

I’m 28. I’ve dated women before but I still have no confidence or self esteem. Not sure if it’s wrong for me to ask out women at their job. I feel like if someone else did it, I wouldn’t judge them or feel negative about it. But me doing it, makes me feel like I’m going to make the woman feel unsafe.

I literally feel like the HR meme.

Some women I’ve met have seemed really nice and I find them pretty. But also maybe they just have good customer service and I’m autistic.

I feel so depressed because I don’t know where I stand and I’d rather play it safe than be seen as a stalker