Im so lost without her, what do I do
There is this girl (19f) that I'm (19m) head over heels for her, we aren't actually dating, but when we talk it feels like we have been for years. Today, she messaged me what felt like a bullet.
"SharkIte, I know you already know but I just wanted to tell you, this whole health scare has really made me realize that I am not ready for a relationship. I don’t have the time or energy that you deserve and I don’t want to keep you waiting or expecting something when my health is still so up in the air. I’m not saying we can’t still talk I just, I want you to know that I don’t expect you to just keep waiting on me
It’s not fair to you to just wait around until I might be ready. I really do like you but it’s scary to consider starting something when I don’t even know is my heart or lungs are working properly.
I know we’ve talked about this before
But I just wanted to reiterate
Because I will never hold it against you if you decide to just move on. I can’t expect you to wait on something that might not come, you know?"
Id wait forever for her because for the first time ever, I feel what I think is love. Every time we talk i get super happy, any time I see her face I'm in awe of her, any time we call i could get lost in her voice. That may be the wrong definition but I dont know what else to call it, everything seemed fine before, and she has told me about these conditions and I've been with her through them since I found out, I feel like crying but I can't and I'm scared I've lost her. I probably sound weird to everyone because like I said we arent even in a relationship at this point, but I'll say this again, when we talk, I feel like we've been together for years, I feel like she's the one, like those movie tropes where its love at first sight.
Sorry for venting, im just lost and id like some advice if anyone can offer, or criticism, just something