u/Aware-Scholar1375

Hello everyone,

I am a CPA in Canada and had been working in various industries since the last 9 years. I have worked my way up all the way from a temp. to junior accountant and now I am a senior accountant. The natural progression in my field and industry at the moment is to become an accounting manager. Over the last 2 years I've had numerous chances to get promoted and enter the managerial level in the company.

But here is the problem and I don't even know if I can present it with clarity.

1. I had been bored with accounting for quite some time and not motivated at all in this field or department. Just naturally lost interest.

2. Everyday is pretty much a drag and grind.

3. I am losing my touch with attention to detail, excel, and other skills. Like I am feeling, seeing, and even getting one-on-one sessions with my manager in shock on why my quality of work is declining.

This is why I never accepted a job offer to level up in the past 2 years because I know what Accounting Managers do and I know right now I would be the worst manager. And the crux of all of this is because I just can't care or be excited about this career anymore. And because of the time and money I spent in my bachelors, CPA, and work experience, I really don't have other skills and too tired to learn any new ones. I tried learning LLM, C++ and tried other ventures like writing a novel. But in a few months got bored and also didn't have the mental capacity to finish through. So I don't even know if I can change my career and even if I do, the learning curve, time and money required will be tiresome.

Just 5 years ago I was a new CPA, wearing suits in downtown office and grinding the life with excitement. But over the years with working in various companies, I just lost interest because the pay has always been less than my desired salary and the grind just isn't worth it because of the bad economy. Not to mention, I have FAILED to develop any meaningful connections with anyone at my workplace. 🤦

Please don't misunderstand my rant as a sign of depression because I got that checked with my therapist too. It's just that I didn't expect that accounting/CPA life would end up being like this. Does anyone have any advice?

I'm in my 30s, and I think one of the strangest realizations I've had is that most of the things I wanted were never really my wants. They were things I was taught to want.

A big house. A sports car. A beautiful wife. Status. Success. I spent years believing those were the things that would make life feel complete.

Then life happened. I learned more about people, about biology, about anthropology, and honestly... I realized I don't need any of that.

I just want a home that feels safe. A way to get where I need to go. And one person who genuinely loves me and wants to build a quiet life together.

It's strange. My dreams got so much smaller over the years.

And somehow, they also feel more impossible than ever. All of this is because how the world became which I wasn't expecting because of the blessing of technology and science. The entire world became more separate, more greedy, more bullyish, and lifeless. The boomers, genx, etc didn't know jack shit how to stabilize the economy or the world or move past old grievances. As a result now I live a world of predatory human robots who gets nastier by the second.

So I made my peace with the fact that I am an Alien. (Well I never lived in my home country and was always growing up in the diaspora and also live abroad.) And to me, every human animal is a potential predator.

That's what the world made me into now.