My father told me I have to tolerate his abuse because he raised me.
We talked for 2.5 hours. Most of it was him listing everything he’s ever done for me. The reason was that I haven’t visited my parents in 4 months. The last time I saw them was Christmas, and he was openly aggressive.
Before that, for more than a year, he constantly criticized me for something - usually for “not caring enough” about him.
I tried calling more often, but then he complained that I called while driving or while walking my dog, so even those attempts turned into arguments.
The truth is, these past 4 months I’ve been emotionally exhausted. I work weekends, and for the past 1.5 months my MIL has been seriously unwell and mobility-limited, so my husband and I have been helping her a lot. My father refuses to accept any of this as valid.
He says what he needs from me is emotional support. He had cancer 15 years ago, but he’s healthy now.
For the first time in my life, I didn’t try to save the relationship during this conversation. I just listened.
He also repeatedly told me they’re looking for someone else to sign a care contract/inheritance arrangement with instead. Honestly, I felt relief. So much of my life with them has involved manipulation through money and obligation.
And now I feel guilty for feeling relieved.
The weirdest part is: I didn’t even cry.
Did anyone else feel this emotionally detached or relieved after being rejected or “discarded” by their parents?