Pleas help i have serious problem
The Background:
I used to be a regular addict (PMO once a day). I felt constant physical fatigue and exhaustion. My brain was wired to only respond to "extremely beautiful" triggers. I decided to quit and reached 70 days of clean streak (No looking, no touching). I felt amazing—full of energy and life.
The Turning Point (The Trap):
After those 70 days, I fell into a dangerous trap. I started looking at "soft" triggers, then "semi-porn," then full hardcore porn. However, I did not masturbate (no touching). I would just watch for hours, experiencing intense arousal until I reached a point of "involuntary ejaculation" without any physical stimulation. This lasted for about 3 months.
The 7-Month Collapse:
I then tried to quit watching entirely, but the damage was done. I spent 7 months in a state of extreme "mental suppression." Unlike my first 70-day streak, these 7 months were a nightmare. I developed:
* Constant Brain Fog and "Popping" sensations in my head.
* Severe Headaches whenever I feel even a tiny bit of arousal.
* Social Crippling: I became "stupid" in social interactions; I can’t even talk to a shopkeeper anymore.
* Hyper-Sensitivity: If I see a girl who is slightly attractive (even just seeing a bare midriff), I get an immediate, painful headache that doesn't go away unless I masturbate.
The Current Situation:
Because the headaches were unbearable, I went back to masturbating. Now, I am doing it 3 to 4 times a day. The scary part? I feel no guilt and no physical fatigue—my body is just numb. My brain’s "hunger" for porn is higher than ever before. I used to be able to go months without porn after one session, but now I want it every hour.
I feel like the 7 months of "watching without touching" and the subsequent "mental suppression" fried my nervous system. My biggest obstacle is the painful headache upon arousal—it forces me to relapse just to stop the pain.
Has anyone experienced these "Arousal Headaches" or this level of "Mental Stupidity" after a long period of suppression? How do I fix my brain chemistry?