u/AxolotlTrash

I relapsed recently, and back 3 years ago, my usual spot wouldn't really cause much issue. Since then, though, I got fat. So, I used my usual spot this time, which is my hip, not too hard to reach, and easy to cover with my underwear, so no one will see it. But, I'm running into some problems. First of all, walking, and sitting, and moving my legs in particular ways, hurts, and I am not sure but I think it's causing some of them to reopen a little. Also, due to many factors, I sweat a lot, and, the spot where my cuts are doesn't stay dry, which causes me worry about infection. Problem is, it isn't in a spot I can easily bandage, and especially not without it being noticable. Does anyone have any advice on these things?

I had been clean for over 3 years. I had been doing really well for a while. But then things started getting bad again. And when they did, I told my friends I would ask for help before doing anything. I had gotten pretty good at that. And I'd been trying really hard not to do anything. But, on Tuesday I didn't. I relapsed. I didn't ask for help. I didn't want to give them the chance to stop me. Yesterday the guilt hit. I feel like I let them down. I did it again earlier today. I'm at school. I went to the bathroom to do it. They were in class with me. I could have just.. tried talking to them. But I didn't. I still haven't told them, about the initial relapse, or today. I feel so bad. I don't regret it. But I still feel like I betrayed them.