r/AdultSelfHarm

Quit about 5/6 years ago, all healed over. Landscaper, eastern european in US, I stay covered in sleeves for the most part but it's pretty inevitable that I'm gonna get some kind of tan. Was just looking down and realized I got shiny white lines everywhere. It doesn't match the rest of my skin tone and I don't want it to be this visible. I don't think they're gonna fade any more than this.

Have done bio oil/mederma/silicone sheets/vit E, a couple more things over the years but that's just what's at the top of my head. I do use sunscreen if I'm not covered.

I have noticed this has been a common occurrence for me. I always make sure my skin stays moisturized, but I have scars from years ago that are still sensitive from the smallest touch. Does anyone know why they still hurt if they are visibly healed?:(

I just sh and its the first time i go this deep can somone pls help me and tell me what should i do how do i clean it and how to protect it i cant go to the hospital btw

I'm having major surgery tomorrow and I can't stop thinking about what the nurses will think of my scars. I will be unable to care for myself for a while so the nurses will see everything.

I know nurses see lots of things so I shouldn't be worried, but I'm still nervous. And I also have this irrational fear they will cancel my surgery cause of them (my most recent are just over a month old, no infection or anything). Realistically, I know it will be fine but I can't stop overthinking it. Ahh it's stressing me out so much idek what to do.

Does anyone have any experiences with SH scars going into surgery? I'm feeling super alone and scared right now.

I see a pc, pain management, gyno, dentist etc. What are they allowed to do if i show up with bandaged arms? anything? i also see psych and therapist online but they know about my sh. will i get admitted to a psych ward basically

ive been self harming and self mutilating since i was about 11 and im almost 30. i dont do it frequently and it definitely isnt a go-to coping method. it only really happens a few times a year, when im having a bad meltdown, but they're really bad relapses.
because i never stopped, each time i relapse scares me more because i forget what im capable of. and of course, i have this immeasurable guilt that comes afterwards.
this last time, i really scared my girlfriend. she was so scared she threw up for like an hour straight because she didnt know what to do.
that plus having to lie about where they came from to everyone, i cant help but feel like a monster.
right now Im seeing a psychiatrist who isnt the best, and i dont have access to therapy. im also disabled. so im looking for anything that might help thats accessible. even words of encouragement if you can spare them. anything that bring you out of the moment. i honestly am looking for any support, because i cant talk to anyone else in my life about this. thank you

Imagine the person of your dreams physically, but they have one or many scars that you've never seen on that person before. What would you do?

I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to but i do. i want some relief. i want to be numb. i don’t know what to do. i dont want to throw 4 and a half years away but also its worth nothing, today was so fucking horrible and i’m fucking tired. what are ways I can replicate the feeling without actually harming myself.

How do you navigate self harming while dating someone? I opened up to my girlfriend a while back that I had relapsed when she discovered some cuts on my legs. She made me promise in the moment that if I felt like I was gonna hurt myself that I should come to her instead. And well, I’m sitting here a month later with fresh cuts and a lot of guilt.
I’m scared to tell her I did it again, but I don’t know if I can really hide it either. I feel like I’m a terrible partner.

I think I always thought I was the least suitable person in the world for someone to love me. I've always seen my scars as an impediment to being loved. I don't even know how they would perceive me during sex. Would you sleep with someone who had them?

hi everyone, i’m 20yo and i’ve never been in a relationship so i’m a virgin and i have visible self harm scars on my legs so this makes it even harder to see myself get comfortable enough to be intimate with someone else.
since i worry about this topic and have never heard anyone else talk about it i wanna ask for some advice, how do you address the matter if the partner sees your scars and asks about them? i feel like a lot of people look down upon people with self harm scars so i’m afraid that in a situation where i have to be naked i would feel judged instead of having a good time.
i know that usually it depends on the situation but i feel like having some kind of advice on the issue would help me a bit to feel more comfortable if a situation like that were to happen, and also maybe make me feel a little less stressed about this issue.
i would really appreciate it if anyone is willing to share some thoughts or experiences, if you have any suggestions please let me know!

I just cut my wrists multiple times without thinking because of how upset I was with my family. I used to slit my wrists a lot when I was 16 for around a year because of family issues and depression I developed because of it. My family member would see my arms covered in blood and no one cared. I only ever had one friend I could be open about to and she helped me get better.

It’s been 2 years now and I’m in such a better place but unfortunately have not been able to move out because of financial stuff. I was so so so incredibly happy this past month because I’ve been having such a wonderful time with so many of the people I love (my friends) and am about to head off to a trip with 2 of my friends around the country.

But my family member got really mad today and spent the entire few hours screaming at me and calling me names and yelling at me in public in front of everyone when we were outside and it just brought back memories of everything. I hate my family so much. I hate them so so much. I am filled with so much love and light in my heart for the people in my life and for the world. I do my best to make the world a better place through my volunteer work and politics. But it sucks when your own blood is so dysfunctional and awful. I can’t stand my family. Why raise children when you can’t even get your shit together??

Anyways, I thought I had myself contained but when I looked into my family members’ eyes, they just had these crazy manic eyes and it just freaked me out in a way I can’t explain. As soon as I got back to my room I just started bawling my eyes out silently and without thinking took the thing that happened to be on the floor and cut myself multiple times. Now there’s blood all over my arms and just looking at it makes me feel so terrible because not only did I promise I’d never do that to myself again; but I was so incredibly happy these past few weeks. I would do anything to have a normal family. I would give anything. Why does it have to be this way? Why? I hate it all so much. I hate people who have kids especially those who don’t have their shit together and then they blame everything on the kids. You’re better off dead.

To make it clear I am in a slightly better mental frame and will make sure I don’t accidentally harm myself on a whim. And definitely not others; I have never even thought of doing anything like that.

So, this is my first post on Reddit. I never thought I would ever post anything, but I need to tell someone, and i guess this is how im doing it. I have been 7 years clean. It has been so long that i quit counting. I have felt the urge for quite some time, after I started therapy. I have been thru a quite stressful period, with my sexuality and family and work and what not. And now I have relapsed. I feel like such a failure, but I know I’m not. I think what’s bothering me the most is the fact that it’s 7 years, and that I’m in my late 20s. I have always had this fucked up thought that self harm is for teens and young adults, and that I’m too old and that kind of attitude. In sorts that’s what kept me going.

I’m not sure why I’m writing all of this, I guess I just had to get this all out. I’m not going to therapy anymore, but I think I have to…

I mean, once you got addicted to this, can you stop entierly?

I think we're damned to redo self harm for our entire lives, do y'all think the same? I personally couldn't be sober for at least ten years

Counted 5 spaces before I typed this.
Last year, I was drunk and loved alcohol. Still do. Anyways, I was drunk one night and ate about 15 Benadryl. I started with about 6 because it put me to sleep and made stop feeling, but one night I just decided that I wanted more. So
I ate a handful of 5, then ate another 5, and then another 5. I honestly don’t remember exactly what happened but I know I ate at least 17 Benadryl. I was completely prepared to die. I wasn’t in my mind but I knew at the time, or at least thought, if I die tonight, that’s completely fine. I’m alive and have done it again since. I couldn’t even speak the day after due to how fried I was. When I woke up I was disappointed. I didn’t want to have to deal with the aftermath. I just wanted everything to end. I’m not like that now, but I still do think about ending it on my pull up bar or with the piece in my dad’s car. This is cringe but not a day goes by where I don’t think about doing it and I can’t stop the thoughts

I find that’s an appeal w sh for me is the aftercare of it. Taking care of a wound for a few weeks keeps my mind off other stuff.
I was wondering what alternative there could be for this if any? I’m nearly 7 weeks clean and really trying to keep that

Hi I recently got back into the habit of cutting, it’s all over my arms from last night and I have work today. It’s way too hot to wear a hoodie and plus we aren’t even allowed to wear them whilst working. My arm is so red and it stands out so much I’m scared customers are gonna stare or point them out. My colleagues are aware of my struggles but not to this extent, a few of them have already seen. Any advice from a pale girl on how to dim them?

Hi. For context- SHED twt is self-harm, eating disorder twitter. Basically it’s community where people share with each other their scars and “goals” in loosing weight, without judging themselves or telling themselves about therapy and such. Basically, i would call it romanticizing the serious disorders. But, to the topic—

My best friend (18m, let’s call him Angel for anonymity) of 5 years hid his twitter from me since a few months. And i didn’t really care abt it- He had right to privacy and to having social media without me following him there, maybe he wanted to vent there and was ashamed to tell me. That’s okay, but i was still curious about it.
Some time ago, when i was over at his house, we had a random conversation and i found out that he sits on the sh twitter and watches it. I didn’t really mind, since he said so himself that he’s not romanticizing it and that it’s a serious topic, and that was it.
I’m not much of a twitter user, but i use it from time to time, out of boredom or when i need to do researches on some issues and stuff. When i went in, twitter asked me if i want to enable contacts, and i agreed. That’s when i saw him there- i knew that was his account, because he has an obsession on a character from anime, and the account’s name was basically this character’s name of shedtwt and his name after. So, curiosity got better of me and i checked his profile..
Oh boy.

I found out that he has ED, that he wants to weight 40kg, and there was even our conversation, when I unintentionally said his legs are bigger than mine (i wanted to give him my shorts, bc that wasn’t my style anymore and it was his, and the shorts were mostly meant for bigger thighs), and with that screenshot, he was like “i want to die”

(ALSO an important note, that a few months ago he abandoned therapy)

Also i saw his posts where he included his fresh cuts or scars. People interacted under his posts, encouraging him in that. I confronted him about this today via messages, as he’s awkward in serious talks about such stuff irl, and so am i, and when i saw those posts i got sick and cried a few times and i had to confront him about it.

Long story short, Angel said that it’s not a big deal, that it’s nothing serious and that it’s his business what he does with his body, and that he doesn’t gaf when someone tells him that it’s bad. He said that he knows it’s bad, but he doesn’t care.
He said that he understands, that i care, but it’s useless, because he doesn’t want to die.
When i tried to explain to him what ED leads to, he said that he doesn’t have ED because he eats a lot.
I wrote a really long messages, explaining that you don’t have to starve yourself to have ED and stuff, he just replied with something like “don’t think about it, it’s not a big deal for me and i won’t start to vent to my friends because i don’t like it, i don’t like talking about myself and to me i’m fine and even if i’m not then i don’t care”.
I tried reasoning with him, pleading even for him to go on a therapy, but he said it’s not helping him at all and that doesn’t make sense, and that he’s happy like that. That he doesn’t want changes

I feel so fucking helpless. I’m really worried about him. I can’t tell his parents, because they’re awful and would only make it worse.
Genuinely, what can i even do? I really need to do something, anything. I want to help him, I can’t just watch him slowly ruin himself. Did anyone have a similiar situation? What did y’all do?
Please, any advice will be much appreciated.

I'm 20, and I just started burning myself. i'm autistic and have pretty bad emotional regulation. I've never self-harm before (maybe ripping my hair out or hitting myself when I was very stressed). This is the first time I've actively and purposefully injured myself because I felt I deserved it. I enjoyed it, but do I stop before it gets worse or becomes a problem? How do I stop? I don't think I can, though, guys... life is hard.

when i was a teen around maybe 13-16 i used to hit myself whenever my parents would argue or try to hit me and i was wondering if that was sh? i used to wake up with bruises whenever i hit myself and, another thing i used cut my face is that normal??