Ancestry DNA kit showed my dad wasn't my dad
9 years ago I was big into building my family tree. I bought an Ancestry DNA kit. While I waited for the results I got to build a family tree using their site.
Back story. My mom was married to John but left him for my dad Ed. She was married to Ed until I was 2. He got visitation every other weekend but I very rarely saw him and instead stayed with his mother who spoiled me. So basically I didn't have a present father figure.
Once the DNA kit was complete I was shocked to find that no one on my dad's side matched my DNA, but my DNA matched several people with the same last name as John.
I sat with this for weeks. I called my mom but unfortunately she had had several strokes and had dementia. She acted like she told me years ago. I think I would have remembered this. I had a lunch date with my stepmom (Ed's wife) and told her. I know the news would come better from her than me. We were very low contact. Then I found John's number. He lives an hour away and owns a mechanic business. He was surprised by the news. After a few weeks he called me back and wanted to set up a lunch date. I look a lot like him.
When we had lunch I told him I was 38 years old and didn't expect anything from him but I would like family medical history for myself and my biological kids. He told me he wanted to be a part of my life and get to know me. I told him I would like that but I wanted him to know that I was married to a black man (I'm white), my biological kids are biracial, my adopted daughter was black and my teen son was gay. I told him if he had an issues with this we could part ways. He says that's no problem, he loves everybody.
Things were great for three years. I have two half sisters and a half brother. We had cook outs, holidays, they came to my kids school events. It was nice.
Fast forward to 2020. September I discovered my husband was having an affair and I ended my 20 year marriage. October my 18 yr old had intended to end her life. She was admitted for a hospital to help her. (O that August I had got custody of my adopted daughter's sister. So I have a newborn that is going through withdrawals) Things were extremely stressful for me.
November 2020 John calls me and says he tried to get past the fact I married a black man. He says maybe if I had raised you it would be different. He says you and your kids need to stay in your city and we will stay in our city. I told him I appreciated the honesty but he could have told me this 3 years ago. I say if I could live my life over I would choose my children everytime.
That was my last contact with him, his wife or my biological siblings.
I regret letting him in my kids lives because they were calling him pops within that three years.